Happiness & Manifesting

07/26/22 • 17 min

• Here's the thing, you can talk to your kids about this stuff too. These techniques, these are great tools to teach kids... I mean, gosh, I wish I would have learned a lot of this stuff when I was young. And I'm so grateful and thankful that I learned it when I did and was able to teach my kids the things when I did, so that they can know about the power of thoughts and the mental pictures that we put in our mind and how they talk to themselves and what they think about. And sometimes you can only tell people so much, they have to want to believe it and accept it, everybody's on a different journey and pathway, even our kids. And sometimes our kids are like, Oh yeah, okay, I'll take that to heart. And sometimes we're like, Oh yeah, whatever. But I mean, here's the thing, you're sharing it with them. (05:24)
• When I was getting into the law of attraction, and I was telling my husband Alex about it, and he was like, Oh, okay, whatever. It's a little interesting, so I'm just going to think a thought and then things are going to start showing up in my reality based on what I think about. You think that way, right? But I was determined, I was like, No, I'm determined. I have my book, Katherine's Ponder the Dynamic Laws of Prosperity. I was reading it every single day, I was just diving in, I thought it was so fascinating, and I was starting to see things open our lives. And I decided, I was like, Well, I'm going to try this. And I started visualizing Alex's paychecks being different. I started visualizing him getting a raise... He didn't even know it Guys, I didn't even know it. I was visualizing him getting a raise, I was visualizing him getting these big bonuses, I was visualizing him coming home and going, Oh my gosh, I got a promotion and I got a raise. And he had no idea. And it was so cool, Okay? So cool, I would think about it, I would get into that feeling of like what I would do and I would see that money come in and how we would celebrate and what that would do for our family. And multiple times he would come home and say, Kristi, I gotta raise. I don't even know why I got a raise. Oh my gosh, my bonus check, it was this much and you know? it's so cool, those checks were the same amount that I visualized. (07:06)
• If somebody didn't believe in you and they told you it wasn't going to work and your dreams don't matter, or they can't come to fruition. That's really about them, not about you, it's their own personal disbelief in themselves, Okay? So that's all about them. So if you allow that to control you or upset you, which it can upset you, okay? You have valid reasons for being upset, but I guess what I'm saying is, if you allow that to lead you and guide you through your life... To me, I believe you're letting them control you, you're allowing their limiting beliefs about themselves, the world around them, and what's possible to control you, and so you're like, I believe it, I'm going to show you, I believe it, and I'm going to show you! And to me, that energy, you can still have success with that energy, but it's not as flowing downstream, to me it's more going upstream. You think about that energy, I'm going to prove them wrong, I'm going to go out there, I'm going to prove them wrong and prove to all these people that I'm worthy and deserving of it. You don't have to prove anything. You are already worthy. You are deserving. You don't have to prove anything. That's about them, not about you. Don't let it control you. (9:44)

• Step into that feeling now, this has happened, this is where my career is, this is where my business is, this is where my love life is, this is where my body is and I'm feeling so happy about it, and you're stepping into that version of you now, you're seeing it, feeling it believing it, you're seeing it, feeling it, believing it, you're stepping into that version now, you are so freaking happy because it's already happened, it's here, it's manifested, it's already happened, It's here, it's manifested, it's already happened, it's manifested, I'm seeing it, feeling it, believing it, and I'm acting as if it's already happened, already happened. I'm so happy and grateful, I'm so happy and grateful that this is in my life, I'm so happy and grateful that this is in my life, and I have that happiness now. Feel that happiness now, don't wait until you get it to feel happy, then you're always going to be waiting... Wait and waiting. because it's going to be coming, coming, coming. I can't wait for that to happen, I wait for that happen, right? And feel it now, see it, feel it, believe it, experience it now, live out that happy version of you now. (12:32)

WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME...

• Kristi Dear Website: https://kristidear.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachkristide...

WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME...

• Kristi Dear Website: https://kristidear.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachkristide...

Previous Episode

Poonam Bhuchar: Shifting from Pain to Regain Control of Your Life

• I use the acronym S.A.F.E., and it's about being emotionally safe. A lot of us will hide our emotional trauma and not address it and will shove it down instead of processing those feelings and being able to move on. So the S.A.F.E. method is my method of moving on from that emotional trauma to lead a more fulfilled and purposeful life, so the S stands for stop and accept that you're in pain. A lot of us will just keep going on the hamster wheel, will keep ourselves so busy and will say that we don't have time to think about anything and we just keep walking through life being numb and not processing our pain. The first step is to stop and actually acknowledge that you're in pain. Many of us don't realize that we are. Sometimes there's enough medical evidence out there to prove that it can manifest in physical ways, so for me, I had a lot of health issues because I was denying that I was an emotional pain. So, the first step for S.A.F.E. is stop and accept that you're in pain, which is one of the most difficult things to do. (01:50)

• The second one I talk about is A, which is accept your responsibility for where you are, So... Sometimes in life, there are things that happen to us that we have no control over, and the minute that you start to say, I accept where I am, can be very empowering. And sometimes we've made incorrect decisions in our lives or decisions that weren't the best for us, and it's just accepting some responsibility for that and empowering yourself to move forward. A lot of us play what I call the self-righteous victim. I was a grade a self-righteous victim, I was pissed at the world, I blamed everybody for everything, and I blamed everyone for where I was. And what happens in that is, you keep repeating the story, you keep acting like the self-righteous victim and you don't empower yourself to do anything. The minute that you accept where you are today, and the minute that you accept, I have some responsibility for whatever it may have been that has happened to me, you empower yourself to actually move forward and you have to do something about it because you've accepted accountability for in whatever shape or form it may be. (03:08)

• The F I talk about is three types of forgiveness, so forgiveness of the person that you perceive has hurt you. And you can continue to play the movie back in your head and say, so and so did this, and so and so did that, and you stay stuck, and what has happened has happened but you are ruining the remaining years of your life by constantly playing that same movie real instead of working through forgiveness and letting go of it. Because at the end of the day, we only hurt ourselves, whoever we perceive as hurting us has moved on with their life. But we're still holding ourself captive to that particular situation because we're not moving through the pain and we're not forgiving. The second type of forgiveness I talk about is forgiveness of the Universe, because we all are great at saying, why me? Why was I dealt a sh*tty set of cards? The truth is, why would we wish anything bad that happens to us, to happen to our fellow human beings? it's extremely selfish. So the question that I phrase is, Why not me? What is it that I need to learn from this? And thank you Universe, for teaching me the lessons that I needed to learn. (04:33)

• The third type of forgiveness, which is one of the hardest things, is the forgiveness of ones self, the forgiveness of ones self, for the decisions that we've made that have affected other people, or the decisions that we've made that perhaps were not the best for us. And not to be so hard on ourselves and understand that life is a journey and we are going to make mistakes and we need to learn from those mistakes because without the mistakes, we don't grow. (5:54)

• The E is embracing your journey and embracing fully who you are. So we're all great at accepting how great we are and how fantastic we are, but what about our flaws, why don't we embrace those? Why don't we embrace the flaws that we have and be confident in our own skin and embrace our journey to be able to manifest the things that we want? And I know in your podcast, you talk a lot about manifestation, and I don't believe you can manifest a purposeful or failed life until you work through your emotional pain. (6:23)

ABOUT POONAM BHUCHAR:

There's no doubting that Poonam Bhuchar is an extraordinary woman - after surviving sexual assault, multiple suicide attempts, and an abusive arranged marriage, she went on to build the life of her dreams. After leaving the pain of her past behind, today she is a successful lawyer with a wonderful family and support system. Her life calling is now to aid others with the SAFE Method, a step by step system for transcending the darkness of pain. Poonam's new book, SAFE From the Pain.

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Next Episode

Lizzy Cangro: Shut Up Your Inner Mean Girl

• I like to think the first step is to actually acknowledge our inner mean girl and say, okay, well, thank you for trying to keep me safe, I'm aware of you and have that awareness. Because some of those are so out of touch with what our brains are actually telling us, it becomes very automatic, those negative thoughts that pop into our brain from our inner mean girl, they can feel very natural and very ingrained in our days. But as I say, they're not always aligned to feeling good, so the first step is to really create that acknowledgement of, I hear you, I see you, but this isn't making feel good. And then the second step is really to find a story or a belief that is more aligned to us feeling good, because as I like to say to people, what we choose to put into our brains is very similar to what we choose to wear in the morning, right? (02:08)

• It's so easy to try and stuff down our emotions because, either through society or tough upbringing, we're kind of conditioned to be strong or not show those emotions, there's negative emotions and inverted comments. But in doing so, it's actually counter-productive, because as you say, sometimes those emotions or thoughts are coming up so that we can address them and we can grow and evolve and transform our mindset, and by just stuffing them down what we're really doing is we're just kind of enabling the same patterns to repeat themselves. And actually what I found is that our inner mean girl is kind of like a toddler, the more you ignore her, the more she screams. (06:48)

• So I think that's a really, really great point in switching the way that we talk about ourselves, the way that we talk about how we nourish our bodies. Diet is a four letter word that I don't really resonate with. And being able to nourish our bodies and trust our gut is very important to me. And the reason why that is, is because the diet industry is yet another source, in addition to our inner mean girl, with this limiting belief that we're not good enough... Right? So we have a diet industry saying, Take our supplements, do our program, lose weight, eat more healthily, and then you'll be good enough. And then that works in tandem with our own inner mean girl that's saying, You're not good enough. And really, it sets up a very negative cycle always needing to be in the diet industry in order to sell good enough. But you're never going to feel good enough, because they're always going to be trying to sell you a product. (10:27)

• I feel like we try and make things harder than they actually are, so something like that is such an easy and powerful tool that we can use to start to tune into our bodies and really consider, Is this something that my body is asking for? Is this something but I think it's all sinful or I'm using as, I don't know, a way of numbing out or expressing another emotion that I have? So, I think that's a great tool. I really like the idea of reading our hunger on a scale of one to 10, because everybody's kind of gauge is going to be different. But if we do have our own way of knowing, Okay, so I'm feeling a little bit hungry, I'm at about a five. I can start maybe thinking about eating something in the next hour versus being absolutely starving and not actually listening to our body, and that's something that we can just practice over time, just implement and it's personalized to us. (13:32)

• We could take the burger and change it to a turkey patty and just kind of make these small swaps that change the nutritional value of our meal so that we don't feel deprived. But we're also feeding our body with all of the nutrients that we need. And again, it's not necessarily saying that we always have to choose the healthiest option or that we always have to choose the less healthy option, it's kind of, again, being in tune with what your body needs and making the choice that is right to you, and I love how earlier you were talking about really it is a choice and taking responsibility for how we nourish our bodies, it is so, so important. And, just actually enjoying the food... that many of us just hate what are we doing, and I'm a nutritionist and I dislike green salad. And so that's not going to make me happy. (16:27)

ABOUT LIZZY CANGRO MA, MSc, PGCE, ANutr:

Lizzy is an author, nutritionist, and wellness coach. She grew up in the same way that many women in the western world do - constantly criticizing her own body and withholding food. Naivety and bad advice from non-experts resulted in an eating disorder for Lizzy that lasted for ten years. However, after much inner work, Lizzy finally achieved unconditional love for her body, and her upcoming book Reclaim the Rebel reveals just that.

CONNECT WITH LIZZY:
• Website: https://nutritionbylizzy.com
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