#262: How to Change Unwanted Patterns in Life and Love with Vienna Pharaon

Explicit content warning

02/20/23 • 71 min

1 Listener

The Mark Groves Podcast

Themes: Childhood Wounds, Family Systems, People-Pleasing, Relationships, Self-Worth

Summary:

I think it’s safe to say that none of us had a perfect childhood, and we all carry around behaviours and unhealed pain that doesn’t serve us. But it doesn’t have to be that way: our past may have created our patterns, but we can change them with some self-awareness and the right tools. Join my bestie Vienna Pharaon and me as we dive into understanding and overcoming wounds from our Family of Origin, so you can move beyond your frustrating patterns in life and love and into a more liberated way of being.

Vienna is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City’s most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Her first book, The Origins of You, hits shelves on February 21st, 2023.

Discover:

How unhealed pain or “wounds” from our Family of Origin manifest in our adult behaviours
Why it’s so difficult to hold the paradox of being both disappointed with and grateful for our upbringing
Five common “origin wounds” and how they show up in our adult lives
How to identify and start to heal the origin wounds that hold you back

00:00 Intro

02:10 How childhood wounds impact us today

13:57 You don’t need to have a traumatic childhood to have wounds

18:19 Being both disappointed with and grateful for aspects of your upbringing

29:23 Examples of origin wounds

32:35 The belonging wound

36:53 The prioritization wound

45:15 Safety and trust wounds

55:42 How to begin healing

Links:

Website | viennapharaon.com
Instagram | @mindfulmft
Book | The Origins of You
6 Week LIVE Coaching Experience with Vienna

Sponsors:

Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com
Open | Try Open for 30 days free! Go to withopen.com/createthelove and use code CREATETHELOVE to sign up
Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Themes: Childhood Wounds, Family Systems, People-Pleasing, Relationships, Self-Worth

Summary:

Discover:

How unhealed pain or “wounds” from our Family of Origin manifest in our adult behaviours
Why it’s so difficult to hold the paradox of being both disappointed with and grateful for our upbringing
Five common “origin wounds” and how they show up in our adult lives
How to identify and start to heal the origin wounds that hold you back

00:00 Intro

02:10 How childhood wounds impact us today

13:57 You don’t need to have a traumatic childhood to have wounds

18:19 Being both disappointed with and grateful for aspects of your upbringing

29:23 Examples of origin wounds

32:35 The belonging wound

36:53 The prioritization wound

45:15 Safety and trust wounds

55:42 How to begin healing

Links:

Website | viennapharaon.com
Instagram | @mindfulmft
Book | The Origins of You
6 Week LIVE Coaching Experience with Vienna

Sponsors:

Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com
Open | Try Open for 30 days free! Go to withopen.com/createthelove and use code CREATETHELOVE to sign up
Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Previous Episode

#261: The Power of Passion with Ant Anstead

Themes: Career, Purpose, Media, Divorce, Breakups, Parenting

Summary:

This week I’m honoured to welcome the master mechanic himself, Ant Anstead, to the show. Ant and I met serendipitously a few years back when he took my Breakup Recovery Course, and I’ve been blessed to call him a friend ever since.

Ant is the CEO and co-founder of Radford Motors and is responsible for overseeing the build process of every single bespoke, hand-made vehicle to meet exacting customer specifications. For many years, Ant built bespoke cars for elite clients and collectors all over the world and is best known for hosting car-centric television shows such as Celebrity IOU: Joyride, Radford Returns, For the Love of Cars and Wheeler Dealers, the number one most distributed show on The Discovery Channel.

Join us as we chat about Ant’s career journey, life (and divorce) in the public eye, parenthood, and more.

Discover:

How Ant transitioned from being a police officer to playing football to building cars
How he turned his passion for cars into a career
His journey into television
How he deals with the media, clickbait and life in the public eye
Ant’s perspective on parenting in the social media generation and his top advice for fathers

00:00 Intro

02:31 Ant’s police career

11:13 Flipping and building cars

16:05 Turning your passion into a career

21:19 Starring on a television show

27:27 Being in the public eye

31:34 Clickbait & the media

35:02 Getting hate for hosting Wheeler Dealers

43:01 Social media trolls

47:30 Divorce

54:50 Fatherhood

1:03:55 Upcoming works

1:06:48 Radford Racing School

1:12:29 Mark as a father-to-be

Links:

Website | ant-anstead.com + radford.co
Instagram | @ant_anstead + @radfordmotors

Sponsors:

Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com
Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Next Episode

#263: Why Free Speech Matters with Greg Lukianoff

Themes: Freedom of Speech, Censorship, Social Media, Cancel Culture, Mental Health

Summary:

Join me for an insightful conversation with Greg Lukianoff: attorney, New York Times best-selling author, and President and CEO of the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE). Greg co-authored one of my all-time favourite books, The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure, with Jonathan Haidt. This New York Times best-seller expands on their September 2015 Atlantic cover story of the same name and is an absolute MUST read. In this episode, we discuss some main themes from the book, including free speech, why it matters, the dangers of censorship, and more.

Discover:

The importance of free speech and why diverse viewpoints are essential for growth, peace and a thriving democracy
The dangers of censorship and why diverse thought, even when offensive, is necessary to develop critical thinking
Why society tends to put someone in a box based on an opinion or belief (and why it’s lazy)

00:00 Intro

01:09 Why Greg is passionate about free speech

05:10 When is censorship okay?

08:15 Handling pushback to free speech

13:08 Being placed in a box for your beliefs

17:39 Moral certitude

19:54 Free speech and private companies

24:59 The noble lie

27:21 Lack of viewpoint diversity on campuses

29:52 The benefits of free speech

37:40 Disagreement and diverse thought

42:45 Biases in mainstream media