#248: The Problem with Toxic Positivity with Whitney Goodman

12/08/22 • 45 min

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Themes: Toxic Positivity, Social Media, Authenticity, Parenting, Mental Health Summary: Meet Whitney Goodman, LMFT — a radically honest psychotherapist behind the hugely popular Instagram account @sitwithwhit, author, and the owner of The Collaborative Counseling Center, a virtual therapy practice in Florida. Whitney's debut book, Toxic Positivity: Keeping it Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy, shows readers how to shift the goal from being happy to being authentic in order to live fully. In this episode, we discuss toxic positivity and how a “good vibes only” mentality, while good-intentioned, can actually backfire when we’re denying and dismissing the hardships of life. Discover: What the term toxic positivity means, and why constantly striving to maintain a positive outlook isn’t actually helpful or realistic when it comes to mental health How social media perpetuates toxic positivity and shame through an absence of realness How to avoid the anxiety and comparison that comes with the constant positivity on social media Why keeping it real and not forcing positivity leads to deeper, more sincere connections The best way you can show up for someone who’s going through a hard time 00:00 Intro 01:01 Toxic positivity 02:51 Cultural gaslighting 03:24 Gratitude, toxic positivity & the internet 04:47 History of toxic positivity 08:06 The absence of realness on social media 10:53 Social media boundaries 12:59 The cultural shift beyond constant positivity 15:00 The effects of toxic positivity on connection 21:14 Connection between cancel culture and toxic positivity 24:18 Toxic positivity in relationships 28:01 Stop trying to save people 31:51 Relationships with parents 37:00 Gender roles in parenting 38:42 Life without a smartphone and the internet 41:42 Living in alignment with your values Links: Website | sitwithwhit.com Book | Toxic Positivity Instagram | @sitwithwhit Sponsors: Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off your next order at organifi.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards

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#247: How to Create a Lasting, Healthy Relationship with Dr. Stan Tatkin

Themes: Relationships, Attachment Theory, Conflict, Interdependency Summary: Today I’m honoured to be joined by Stan Tatkin: PsyD, MFT, clinician, author, researcher, co-founder of the PACT Institute and all-around relational ninja. Stan’s ability to help couples navigate the often tricky waters of relationships is truly unparalleled, and in this episode, you’ll understand why. Join us as we discuss attachment theory, the leading causes of breakups and, ultimately, how to co-create a thriving, lasting relationship. Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is the author of We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship Rx, Wired for Dating, What Every Therapist Ought to Know, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships, and the upcoming, In Each Other’s Care. Discover: Why we choose the partners we do, and why we default to certain behaviors while in a relationship Two main reasons relationships don’t last The non-negotiable habits of couples in strong, healthy relationships The mindset shift couples need to make for their relationship to survive and thrive 00:00 Intro 01:10 Stan’s background 02:57 Why we choose who we choose 10:30 Two main reasons relationships don’t last 18:02 Attachment theory & why we stay 23:24 Interdependency 26:29 Purpose-centered love 34:42 Creating a relationship that survives and thrives 41:32 Relationships are a team sport 48:16 Prioritizing repair 54:10 Avoid working on each other; only the problem Links: Website | thepactinstitute.com Instagram | @drstantatkin Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards

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#249: What Kids Really Need with Donovan Taylor Hall

Themes: Children, Child Education, Mental Health, Self-Worth, Self-Love, Growth Mindset Summary: Today’s guest, Donovan Taylor Hall, is the teacher I think we all wished we had growing up. Dubbed the ‘Modern Day Mr. Rogers,’ Donovan is a youth advocate and educator on a mission to teach children how to build positive self-identity, self-worth and determination. His work aims to help kids of all ages create a solid relationship with themselves and learn the skills they need to take care of themselves both mentally and emotionally. Slow. Clap. Donovan has been featured on the Today Show, NowThis and several podcasts for his important work in positive youth development. Although his work started with kids, he has recently shifted into helping adults take care of themselves as well, using the same skills and inner child work. Join us as we discuss Donovan’s story, the current education system, how it’s affecting kids' mental well-being, and the value of an alternative system that focuses more on emotional, relational and mental health. Discover: How Donovan’s personal mental health struggles inspired him to work with kids Why teaching kids about their inherent self-worth is so important The reality of putting too many expectations and too much pressure on kids How the current education system is affecting kids' mental health How Donovan uses Twitch to connect with and teach important skills to his students The moment that made him leave the classroom, what made him come back, and the importance of self-love 00:00 Intro 00:23 Being the modern-day Mr. Rogers 02:03 Passion for teaching kids 06:12 Self-worth is inherent 12:18 Putting expectations on kids 15:20 The main struggles middle schoolers face today 31:09 Creating a safe space for kids 43:10 Rethinking the education system 48:03 Meeting kids where they’re at 53:14 Leaving the classroom 1:00:12 Creating content & performative social media 1:09:48 Future plans Links: Website | donovantaylorhall.com Twitch | twitch.tv/donofriend Instagram | @donofriend Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com LMNT | Get a FREE LMNT Sample Pack with any purchase at drinklmnt.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards