How to Respond to Those Who Are Grieving

How to Respond to Those Who Are Grieving Caring for our grieving family and friends Here are 19 things Amen Clinics patients said they wish people would stop saying to someone who’s grieving. 1.“How are you doing?” 2.“You’ll be okay after a while.” 3.“I understand how you feel.” 4.“You shouldn’t feel that way.” 5.“Stop crying.” 6.“At least he’s in a better place; his suffering is over.” 7.“At least she lived a long life, many people die young.” 8.“She brought this on herself.” 9.“Aren’t you over him yet, he’s been dead for a while now.” 10.“There is a reason for everything.” 11.“God’s in charge.” 12.“She was such a good person; God wanted her to be with Him.” 13.“Just give it time. Time heals.” (Time does not heal, taking the right steps heals.) 14.“You’re young; you can still have other children.” 15.“You’ll do better next time in love.” 16.“It was just a dog or cat. You can get another one.” 17.“Stay busy. Don’t think about it.” 18.“You have to be strong for your spouse, children, mother, etc.” (This diminishes their need to take time to heal.) 19.“Just move on.” 12 Things to Say to (or Do for) a Grieving Person Based on what thousands of Amen Clinics patients have said, here are better ways to communicate and connect with someone who’s in mourning. 1.“I’m so sorry for your loss.” 2.“I wish I had the right words. Please know I care and I’m here for you.” 3.“You and your loved ones are in my prayers.” 4.can’t imagine how you feel.” Then be quiet and let them tell you about their feelings. “I can’t imagine how you feel. When I lost my father I felt .....” Then listen without judgment or criticism. “I’m here for you.” Better yet, if there is something specific they need, ask if you can do it for them. Ask if you can make phone calls or send emails on their behalf. “Can I go to the funeral?” This is often an important sign of support. “Want to talk about what happened?” Many people avoid this question, but it helps the griever to explain it, if they desire, and having a compassionate ear can help them process it more accurately. Just be present. Share a memory about the person who’s gone. Be empathetic. It’s okay for you to show your feelings. Continue connecting, even after a few months. Many people are inundated in the first few weeks, but they need support long after the funeral is over.

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