152: Vulnerable (Pt 1) | Dr Verran Rose

06/03/23 • 26 min

Dr Verran Rose is a qualified psychiatrist, therapist and specialist in conscious breath work which allows her to help people identify and alleviate trauma in the body.
Verran is neurodiverse and grew up in a painful set of family circumstances that led to alcohol and drug addiction. Her passion for helping others and her ability of insight are extraordinary.

If leadership is your promise of a lived experience for those around you, what are the consequences if you take no time to understand what your needs are?

This episode was recorded on location in Herceg Novi in Montenegro and if you can hear cars and leaf blowers, I hope it adds to the enjoyment of listening to someone who can help all of us understand the importance of stopping to really know ourselves and embrace vulnerability as a core part of the Human Centred Leader. Ask yourself one question: Do you actually matter to yourself right now?

Verran explains that vulnerability is the ability to identify our own needs and to have the confidence to ask people for what we need. The challenge for many is that we don’t see or even know our own needs, or we see needs as a mental health issue or even a weakness. With a relentless focus on doing and being busy whilst searching for external validation we may feel good about ourselves but what are we ignoring?
Vulnerability is a powerful ally which allows us to identify our needs that will allow us to perform at our best, yet disassociation get in the way. Disassociation is when we only see how we are doing by how people validate us externally as opposed to an ability to sit with ourselves and really know what we need.

Many of us are frightened of being vulnerable and exposing our authentic self and masking who we really are to avoid rejection and disappointment emotionally and professionally. Did you know that by the age of 7 our personal identify is already fully formed from the narrative of our parents or those important and significant people in our lives. If you are also neurodiverse you simply accept this identity without challenge until crisis hits and you either rebel or just suffer.

Quietness and stillness are difficult concepts for a high achiever, and many use being busy as an antidote to truly understanding what personal needs are. In fact, many of us will avoid the stillness because to be with ourselves is not enough. Some of the simplest things such a breathing, joy, happiness, and gratitude are being overlooked but so many each and every day, but to what cost?

The issue of vulnerability is a global, human and connected issue for all of us.

Pt 2 coming soon

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If leadership is your promise of a lived experience for those around you, what are the consequences if you take no time to understand what your needs are?

The issue of vulnerability is a global, human and connected issue for all of us.

Pt 2 coming soon

Watch & Subscribe: 👀 https://www.youtube.com/@theleadersenigma/videos
Listen & Subscribe: 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/show/5NSnRyHzPmyY5OWhGzKU5P
www.leadersenigma.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

151: The Inconvenient Truth | Chandran Nair

Chandran Nair is the founder of The Global Institute for Tomorrow (GIFT), a leading Pan Asia Think Tank that explores and confronts 'The Inconvenient Truth' surrounding leadership and global existential issues facing us all. Before the start of GIFT, Chandran led and grew Asia's largest environmental consultancy having lived and worked in a number of regions across the world. Whilst you may or may not agree with some of the issues Chandran explores, this episode will certainly get you to think and confront the narratives that we have all been immersed in for decades.
Chandran's curiosity comes from an increasing sense of injustice for many issues facing the world and the dishonest narratives that he perceives have been distributed across regions. Chandran is a firm believer of scientific research and analysis and a fact driven debate to try and fix these challenges that impact the billions of people on the planet.
Sustainability is an abused term according to Chandran with most people not allowing the science to direct their focus and attention. With 8 billion people on the planet, we can't have it all and most people in the developing world can't live the lives taken for granted in the Western world. Chandran suggests that the term 'net zero' and 'carbon neutral' are myths. The current economic model of 'trickle down economics' will never allow most humans to access or own basic needs that are taken for granted by the West.
The pandemic was an example of how the world suffered a 'storm' but depending on where you lived, people had to navigate that storm in a very different boat. Chandran is still hopeful that 'deliberate denial is not the mainstream reaction to some of these inconvenient truths but he also accepts that good faith is hindered by the harsh realities of things such as the distribution of power and wealth across the world.
Leadership requires all of us to focus on the existential threats and be intellectually honest, regardless of how inconvenient certain truths are for consumption. Chandran states that the science can't be ignored surrounding the world's relentless consumption and the simplicity of approach suggested by many global leaders requires a far more constructive curiosity from us all.
Chandran challenges our thinking throughout this episode and asks many questions including asking if we all 'buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.' Perhaps we are all sleep walking towards the need for draconian measures to slow and reconfigure our current approach to life whereby the collective welfare becomes paramount to individual rights. The greatest challenge for the modern day leader is the requirement to unlearn what may have been taken for granted or even proved to be correct in days gone by.
https://global-inst.com

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Next Episode

153: In The Moment | Neil Mullarkey

Neil Mullarkey is a comedian, author, co-founder of The Comedy Store Players with Mike Myers (Wayne's World, Austin Powers & Shrek) a regular on Whose Line Is It Anyway and member of the iconic Cambridge Footlights. This episode will make you smile and laugh out loud, something we could all do with more of.
Neil shares some incredible stories with me from the days of the Cambridge Footlights, home to so many famous comedians such as Monty Python, The Goodies, John Cleese, Fry & Laurie and many more. He explains how he met Mike Myers by accident and asked him to paint the set and sell tickets for him which led to them becoming a double act which in turn become a way of life full of laughter, improvisation and stand up comedy. The power and applicability of improvisation in a business context is clear and Neil now helps leaders focus on their ability to listen, co-create, build psychological safety and teamwork and step into uncertainty with a feeling of hope.
You become a good improvisor when you let go of the fear of being seen as mad, bad or wrong. Don't try to do things by yourself 'bring a brick and build a cathedral.'
Warwick University did a study that happy workers are 12% more productive, humour will help any leader and humour utterances tend to see people succeed more than those who don't.
Neil outlines his acronym L.A.G.E.R. as a simple process that any of us can follow.
Neil also explains how he met and worked with Eddie Izzard and outlines how different styles and rhythms of delivery connect with audiences.
The pandemic also forced Neil to focus on his skills in a virtual and remote format. His advice for leaders is to keep communicating with people using all the various mediums but ensuring you are 'checking in' not 'checking up'. and use the 20:20:20 rule. The office remains a place to focus people on 'connection, celebration and education.'
Kentucky Fried Duck will help you remember to focus on your what you want your audience to KNOW, FEEL and DO to avoid the spiral of disaster and enter the bubble of opportunity.
This episode is packed full of fun, laughter and wisdom from years of entertaining people all over the world as some of the greatest comedians of our time.
We also touch on storytelling for leaders. Keep it simple as Neil outlines three simple categories of. how we got here, where we are now and where are we going next.
Neil has also promised me that his alter ego L Vaughan Spencer will come onto the show in the New Year.......what could possibly go wrong!
www.neilmullarkey.comNeil's new book 'In The Moment' is available on Amazon.

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