The Kitchen Is On Fire

This episode of TickyOff features chef, restaurateur, cookbook author and all round wonderful being of a human kind Ravinder Bhogal. Ravinder talks her initial breakthrough into the world of food, fighting for her restaurant site, supper clubs and pop ups and some dangerous geese in Kenya. She also gets into her celebration of immigrant foods, the mini economies that homesickness can create and some utterly life changing guava fruit.

Before Ravinder arrives Sam shares a recipe for Big Tray Chicken, has been singing about carrots in the supermarket and has seen a bottomless pond. James meanwhile is very garlicky, reveals the aphrodisiacs of the ancient Greeks and learns all about French synth wizard Jean Michel Jarre.

All of the above top drawer content plus Tom Hardy as a punchy Roman, Ross Kemp’s podcast and another sensual instalment from Barbara Cartland.

It’s TickyOff. And that’s all we have right now.

This episode is sponsored by the very straight roads and advanced plumbing pioneers of wine dropwine.co.uk

For the 2019 TickyOff Christmas Special Sam and James have lunch with two absolute heroes; Fergus Henderson and Trevor Gulliver. Said lunch takes place at St John. For twenty five years, it is said that Fergus ‘puts it on the plate’ and Trevor ‘puts it in the glass’ at St John. Since before time began, The TickyOff Boyz have been said to ‘put it on the pod’. So a recording of the lunch has flat-out been put....on the pod.

Great quantities of wine are drunk, greater quantities of food are eaten. However, the substance in greatest supply during this feast, is chat. Solid gold festive chat.

Is that angels singing? No, it’s Fergus and Trevor’s origin story involving hotdogs at a dog track. Is that the sound of jingle bells....jingling? Nah, that’s Lee Tiernan yap, AA Gill discussion and Jonathan Gold babble. Ah, the gentle pop of chestnuts roasting on an open fire! Alas no, your ears deceive you, that’s James eating snails, Sam’s cat dying during recording and Fergus teaching the correct irrigation technique for Worcestershire sauce on a rarebit.

Other Christmas miracles on aural display include Paul Bocuse’s ever growing toque, stuffing as a Christmas lunch prep jazz moment, ‘Master And Commander’ and the serenity of bread sauce.

The TickyOff Boyz were and remain, very honoured and grateful to have been invited to lunch with two such legendary fellows. In much the same way as you are no doubt honoured and grateful to be able to listen in.

Happy Christmas dear listeners. We have love for you. In a way.

This week’s episode is sponsored by your very own Christmas miracles at dropwine.co.uk

RIP Ripley x

Firstly a little note, our mighty sandwich shop Sons + Daughters opens soon in Kings Cross! Listen to this episode on the way there and you may hear word of a TICKYOFF FAN EXCLUSIVE OFFER!!!

Now, on with the babble....

Guess who’s back? A bunch of easily preventable diseases? Correct. Anti-vaxers, a plague upon yer unvaccinated houses. Fascism? Correct. Fascists are, much like love is in mega hit ‘Love Is All Around’ by Wet Wet Wet, all around. Twee and dull indie pop band Bombay Bicycle Club? Yep. I was surprised too, but they are indeed back and dropping some more twee and dull indie pop 'bangers' as we speak.

In a world where awful things keep coming back, we need something amazing to come back. Something magnificent and brilliant and mindblowing. Something like the goddamn TickyOff Boyz packing another galaxy humping episode of the solar system’s favourite podcast* The Goddamn TickyOff.

*We checked, and aliens think all that NPR nonsense, and Maron, and that buff fella and the freakynomics chap all SUUUUUCCCCKKK. We are massive in Saturn and could not be bigger on Pluto. Don’t write in to our email address that I’ve forgotten to tell me: ‘Oh well actually Pluto isn’t classified as a planet now actually I think you’ll find actually’. Because if I could remember the damn login then I’d reply: ‘Actually, don’t be unkind to Pluto. you can’t take that designation away just because someone cleaned the lens on Hubble and found that Pluto was actually just some birdmess on the glass that made it appear as if there was a planet there. That’s incredibly mean to them and at this point considering what we’re doing to Earth I’d say that our rock barely still qualifies as a planet too so pipe down planetary nomenclature pedant!’

Well, that really went somewhere.

Anyway, this week the Boyz slip right into some pig offal chat, Yorkie bars, holiday romances and the merits of cargo pants. James is irritated by a French fishmonger and Sam tries to impress a girl by killing someone.

If that wasn’t controversial enough Giles Coren shows up and......is Giles Coren. Unrepentant, Gary Lineker dissing, risotto loathing, music hating, peacock eating Giles Coren. He’s back from Greece, might be a secret vegan and while he may not enjoy eating dormice, he’s not shy of putting down a peacock or two.

This is what you’ve been missing all summer. While the world burned itself and its moral compass to cinders, The TickyOff was just waiting for its moment to return, like a soothing aural salve for the grim ills of humanity. Sound based Savlon for the sore graze of humankind. You don’t get that from bloody Maron now do you? Wake up.

This week’s episode is sponsored by intergalactic wine pedlars dropwine.co.uk

This episode of TickyOff was recorded before the sweeping shut down of restaurants across the UK. Humble apologies therefore for any out of date statements. Having said that, if you’re listening to TickyOff for well considered and cutting edge thoughts...you’ve got bigger problems to focus on.

This week James and Sam are joined by Neil Rankin, chef and owner of Simplicity Burger on Brick Lane in London. Neil utilises his mouth to create sounds concerning good agriculture, why he decided to get into vegan burgers and a childhood haunting in Edinburgh. Meanwhile James takes a swing at a beloved institution and Sam has a weird idea for a panacotta recipe.

There’s also time for quantum mechanics and a tag team wrestling match.

It’s Tickyoff, and in times like these, sometimes there’s nothing better.

Wake up. And self-isolate. And wash your hands. And don’t stockpile.

This week’s episode is sponsored by wine suppliers for the apocalypse dropwine.co.uk

Also, this:

***Hi everyone. Crumbs. You'd think we'd be amused by an actual ghost town but it's not really very funny anymore. We've both come off payroll and are doing our best to keep the roof on at S+D and Pidgin. We're also going to keep doing the podcast because we feel everyone is going to need a little light entertainment in these coming months. Guests may be hit and miss and can join at their discretion. Anyway. At the risk of going a little cap-in-hand, we've set up a Patreon account.

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=31987206&fan_landing=true

That means you can support the podcast - and, you know, us - by bunging us a few quid each month. Absolutely no pressure at all but if you felt moved to do so then we would be eternally grateful and will give you a shout out on the show. Thanks so much.***