Ep. 76: The Need to Control: A Compulsive Recipe for Poor Health

02/25/25 • 10 min

It might feel right at times to be all fired up and plowing through a messy house as if it were about to be condemned as inhabitable by the town, fixing errors in a discombobulated spreadsheet like your life depended on it, or planning every detail of your daughter’s 10th birthday party so that she’s guaranteed a spot on the social registry. But if you can’t turn that fire down, you’re going to burn up and burn out. I mean this physically and medically. Engaging in urgency on a regular basis will take it’s toll on your physical health. Join me in this episode as we look at the effects of obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior on your physical well-being, and what you can do about it.

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Ep 75: 6 Steps to Stop Being Judgmental

It’s human nature to have standards and to compare, but this tendency can go rogue and unleash harsh judgments on others—with results completely contrary to the original intentions. I have found it helpful to explore what triggers our judgment and to see what impact it has on the other person and ourselves as well. If we can learn to identify our motivations, acknowledge our shadow, try to understand what others go through and look at the impact judging has, we will be better equipped when we are tempted to judge others.

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Ep. 77: How to Help a Partner, Friend or Relative Who Feels Suicidal

How do you help a partner, relative or friend who feels suicidal? The situation is disturbing for anyone, and can be even more difficult for people who take too much responsibility and need to have things fixed and resolved. There are limits to what is within our control. And many of us feel too much responsibility in a situation like this. We like to think that there must be a solution to any and all problems—if we could just figure it out and work hard enough to execute that solution. But that’s very idealistic, if not naïve. But your connection and listening can make more difference than you might think. Ideally, hearing themselves as they talk to you, and hearing you mirror their feelings empathically and simply, will help them realize that what needs to die is not they themselves, but their inner Dictator, Tyrant, or Judge, along with their unrealistic standards, black and white thinking, and self-attack.