Understanding Post-Separation Abuse: Insights from the Purple Book

06/04/24 • 43 min

Are you struggling to deal with and address post-separation abuse? TRIGGER WARNING: Listener Discretion Advised: Domestic & Family Violence, Post Separation Abuse, Coercive Control and Suicide is mentioned in this episode. In this helpful episode, we discuss the various forms of abuse that can persist even after leaving an abusive relationship and what you can do about it. Using insights from the "Purple Book," Laura and Lynette (a family law expert) explore the patterns of coercive control, the legal and emotional challenges survivors face, and practical strategies for protection and recovery. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding and find support on your journey to freedom. (Please always see a lawyer for independent legal advice this is just an educational discussion not legal advice)

Listen to this Episode If You:

🌟 Want to understand the different forms of post-separation abuse.
❓ Are looking for strategies to document and address ongoing abuse.
📚 Need insights into the "Purple Book" and its application.
💡 Seek education on navigating the legal system while dealing with post-separation abuse.
🛡 Are supporting someone through their journey of post-separation abuse.
📝 Want to learn about tools and resources available for documenting abuse.

Key Ideas in this Episode:

📘 Introduction to the "Purple Book" and its significance.
🔄 Overview of the post-separation power and control wheel.
🛡 Undermining parental abilities and its impact.
🗣 Addressing harassment and intimidation tactics.
📉 Strategies for dealing with false accusations and discrediting as a parent.
💵 Withholding financial support as economic abuse.
🚸 Impact of endangering and disregarding children.
👩‍👧 Disrupting the mother-child relationship and emotional manipulation.
👊 Recognizing and addressing physical and other violence.
📝 Importance of documenting abuse and using tools like the ARC app.

Resources mentioned in this episode

Episodes Mentioned to Listen to in this Episode:

https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcasteightyfive (The importance of record keeping during divorce & separation: the what, why, when and how to help yourself in mediation, family court or even just in negotiation.)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode135 (Unfair accusations in custody battles)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode412 (Navigating Parental Trash Talk in Divorce)

Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. This is just one lawyer's opinion of the family court's views in Australia. Do not base your case on anything mentioned in this episode unless it is first discussed and approved by your personal lawyer. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different. By listening to this show, you are agreeing that it and the company that runs it are not liable for the outcome of your case.

For Full Show Notes, go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

For more support, visit www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

Useful Resources:

Click here for our free before you leave checklist

Click here for our free mediation checklist

TRIGGER WARNING: Listener Discretion Advised: Domestic & Family Violence, Post Separation Abuse, Coercive Control and Suicide is mentioned in this episode.

Emergency Contacts:

WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline 13 11 14
Mensline Australia 1...

Listen to this Episode If You:

🌟 Want to understand the different forms of post-separation abuse.
❓ Are looking for strategies to document and address ongoing abuse.
📚 Need insights into the "Purple Book" and its application.
💡 Seek education on navigating the legal system while dealing with post-separation abuse.
🛡 Are supporting someone through their journey of post-separation abuse.
📝 Want to learn about tools and resources available for documenting abuse.

Key Ideas in this Episode:

📘 Introduction to the "Purple Book" and its significance.
🔄 Overview of the post-separation power and control wheel.
🛡 Undermining parental abilities and its impact.
🗣 Addressing harassment and intimidation tactics.
📉 Strategies for dealing with false accusations and discrediting as a parent.
💵 Withholding financial support as economic abuse.
🚸 Impact of endangering and disregarding children.
👩‍👧 Disrupting the mother-child relationship and emotional manipulation.
👊 Recognizing and addressing physical and other violence.
📝 Importance of documenting abuse and using tools like the ARC app.

Resources mentioned in this episode

Episodes Mentioned to Listen to in this Episode:

https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcasteightyfive (The importance of record keeping during divorce & separation: the what, why, when and how to help yourself in mediation, family court or even just in negotiation.)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode135 (Unfair accusations in custody battles)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode412 (Navigating Parental Trash Talk in Divorce)

For Full Show Notes, go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

For more support, visit www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

Useful Resources:

Click here for our free before you leave checklist

Click here for our free mediation checklist

TRIGGER WARNING: Listener Discretion Advised: Domestic & Family Violence, Post Separation Abuse, Coercive Control and Suicide is mentioned in this episode.

Emergency Contacts:

WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline 13 11 14
Mensline Australia 1...

Previous Episode

Navigating the Mortgage Minefield in Divorce or De Facto Separation in Australia

Ever wondered what the deal is when it comes to mortgages during a divorce or de facto separation under Australian law? In this episode, we tackle the daunting topic head-on. Together with my mother, Lynette Galvin, a family law expert with 35 years of experience, we address commonly asked questions about mortgage responsibilities, court handling of joint mortgages, and strategies for dealing with uncooperative ex-partners before you’ve gotten your property settlement. Whether you're dealing with domestic violence, financial uncertainties, or high-conflict situations, this episode provides some insight into this complex issue within the context of Australian law. (Please always see a lawyer for independent legal advice this is just an educational discussion not legal advice)

Listen to this Episode If You:

😫 You're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of managing a mortgage during a divorce or separation.
❓ You have questions about who is responsible for paying the mortgage after separation.
⚖️ You want to understand how courts handle mortgages in property settlements.
🗣️ You're dealing with an uncooperative ex-partner regarding mortgage payments.
🏦 You need strategies for communicating with banks about mortgage issues.
🆘 You’re experiencing domestic violence and need advice on handling your mortgage.
📊 You’re unsure about the contributions and what counts in property settlements.
📈 You want to know the impact of rising property values on mortgage and divorce property settlements.
📝 You need clarity on consent orders and their role in property settlements.
🚧 You're in a high-conflict situation and need tips on maintaining boundaries.

What happens with Mortgages During Divorce & De Facto Separation?

Key Ideas in this Episode:

🏡 The intimidating nature of handling mortgages during divorce or de facto separation.
❓ Common questions about mortgage responsibilities after separation.
🕒 Importance of getting timely legal advice and understanding your financial situation.
🛡️ Strategies for dealing with mortgage payments during domestic violence situations.
⚖️ Different scenarios for mortgage responsibility: breadwinner vs. homemaker.
💼 Contributions in property settlements and what the court considers.
🏦 Court’s approach to handling joint mortgages during property settlements.
📈 Impact of rising property values on mortgage settlements and the importance of acting quickly.
📝 Role and process of consent orders in mortgage settlements.
🚧 Managing high-conflict situations and maintaining boundaries.
💡 Practical tips for sorting out mortgage issues promptly to avoid financial messes.

Episodes Mentioned to Listen to in this Episode:

https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastseventyfour (Selling your house during divorce or property settlement: the process, the pitfalls and solutions)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetyfive (I really really want to keep the house: general legal tips on how to achieve this goal whilst going through property settlement, divorce and de facto separation.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastonehundredfour (Creative Ways to Keep your House in Divorce: out of the box thinking for your property settlement.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastonehundredfive (Financial Fairness During Divorce: A How to Guide for Spousal Maintenance & Child Support)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastfourteen (Child Support in Australia)

For Full Show Notes, go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

For more support, visit www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

Useful Resources:

Click here for our free before you leave checklist

...

Next Episode

What To Do In The Witness Box: Moving from fear to confidence for a Family Law Court Trial

Having to go into a witness box? About to go to a family court trial or a family violence hearing? Are you feeling anxious about stepping into the witness box? In this episode, we offer invaluable guidance on how to navigate this daunting experience. Whether you're involved in family law court proceedings or dealing with family violence or domestic violence trial, this episode provides ten essential tips to help you stay calm and composed. DOWNLOAD OUR PRINTABLE WITNESS BOX TIP SHEET FROM our website www.thedivorcecourse.com.au go to the free resources tab.

From understanding the importance of honesty to managing your emotions to the rules of the witness box, Laura and Lynette share practical education to ensure you present your best self in court. Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different.

Listen to This Episode If You:

🌟 Are preparing to testify in family law court or domestic violence court.
❓ Want to know how to handle cross-examination.
💡 Need strategies to stay calm and collected while giving evidence.
🛡 Are looking for ways to effectively communicate your side of the story.
📚 Seek tips on how to present yourself and interact with the judge and lawyers.
📝 Want to understand courtroom etiquette and procedures.

Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:

📘 The importance of telling the truth and being honest in court.
👂 Listening carefully to questions and asking for clarification when needed.
🛑 Avoiding speculation and being truthful if you don't know the answer.
⏱ Taking your time to think before answering questions.
🎭 Maintaining respect and composure in the courtroom.
💧 Strategies for managing emotions and asking for breaks if necessary.
📑 Understanding who is in the courtroom and what their roles are.
🤝 The role of your lawyer and how they can support you during testimony.
⚖ How barristers structure their questioning to build their case.
📝 Tips on avoiding giving lengthy answers that could complicate your testimony.
For Full Show Notes & downloadable checklist for witness box tips, go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
For more support, visit www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:

Emergency Contacts:

WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)

Thank you for tuning in to this essential episode on navigating the witness box. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources and support systems available to help you through this challenging time. If you found this podcast helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps others find the support they need. Stay strong and take care.

For Full Show Notes, go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

For more support, visit www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

Useful Resources: