Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story?

08/27/24 • 43 min

Are you feeling like your lawyer isn't telling your full story? In this episode, Laura and Lynette dive into the issue of legal gatekeeping and how it can impact your divorce case. They discuss why it's crucial for your lawyer to present all the relevant facts, including those that might be uncomfortable or distressing about Family Violence or Coercive Control. With new property legislation potentially on the horizon in Australia, it's more important than ever to ensure your story is heard, whether it concerns property settlements or children's matters. Tune in to learn strategies for advocating for yourself and making sure your experiences are properly represented in court. Trigger Warning this could be distressing or triggering for victim survivors of family violence or coercive control.

Listen to This Episode If You:

🌟 Feel like your lawyer is not presenting the full picture in your case.
❓ Are dealing with family violence or coercive control and want to know how it affects your legal proceedings.
💡 Need to understand the role of your lawyer versus the role of the judge in court.
🛡 Want to ensure that critical information about your case is not being withheld.
📚 Are interested in how upcoming legislation may change the way family violence is considered in property settlements.

Understanding Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story?

Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:

Understanding Gatekeeping: What it is and how it can affect your case.
The Role of Lawyers vs. Judges: Clarifying what each should be doing in the context of your story.
Importance of Telling Your Full Story: How withholding information can negatively impact court outcomes.
Legislation Update: A look at potential new laws in Australia that could affect property settlements involving family violence.
Kennan’s Case: How this landmark case impacts current family law and property settlements.
Strategies for Self-Advocacy: Tips on how to ensure your lawyer is representing all relevant facts.
Impact on Children: The importance of being upfront about family violence to protect and support your children.
Mediation and Legal Strategy: How to handle mediation and what to do if you're feeling pressured by your lawyer.

Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:

Episodes for More Insight:

The Pep Talk You Didn't Know You Needed
Choosing a Family Lawyer & the Red Flags not to ignore
Three ways to choose and use your family lawyer (that you probably haven’t heard of for your divorce.
Post-Separation Abuse: What You Need to Know
Using children as chess pieces in divorce

Webinars and Courses:

DIY Divorce Blueprint
Weekly Webinars on Navigating Divorce
https://www.patreon.com/TheDivorceCoursePodcast

Emergency Contacts:

WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)

Thank you for listening to this important episode on ensuring your story is fully represented in court. Remember, your experiences are valid, and the right legal representation can make all the difference. If this episode resonated with you, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the help they need. Stay strong and take care.

Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances

Listen to This Episode If You:

🌟 Feel like your lawyer is not presenting the full picture in your case.
❓ Are dealing with family violence or coercive control and want to know how it affects your legal proceedings.
💡 Need to understand the role of your lawyer versus the role of the judge in court.
🛡 Want to ensure that critical information about your case is not being withheld.
📚 Are interested in how upcoming legislation may change the way family violence is considered in property settlements.

Understanding Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story?

Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:

Understanding Gatekeeping: What it is and how it can affect your case.
The Role of Lawyers vs. Judges: Clarifying what each should be doing in the context of your story.
Importance of Telling Your Full Story: How withholding information can negatively impact court outcomes.
Legislation Update: A look at potential new laws in Australia that could affect property settlements involving family violence.
Kennan’s Case: How this landmark case impacts current family law and property settlements.
Strategies for Self-Advocacy: Tips on how to ensure your lawyer is representing all relevant facts.
Impact on Children: The importance of being upfront about family violence to protect and support your children.
Mediation and Legal Strategy: How to handle mediation and what to do if you're feeling pressured by your lawyer.

Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:

Episodes for More Insight:

The Pep Talk You Didn't Know You Needed
Choosing a Family Lawyer & the Red Flags not to ignore
Three ways to choose and use your family lawyer (that you probably haven’t heard of for your divorce.
Post-Separation Abuse: What You Need to Know
Using children as chess pieces in divorce

Webinars and Courses:

DIY Divorce Blueprint
Weekly Webinars on Navigating Divorce
https://www.patreon.com/TheDivorceCoursePodcast

Emergency Contacts:

WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)

Previous Episode

Divorce Dynamic: Balancing Power & Progress

In every divorce, there are two primary positions people find themselves in: sitting pretty or completely overstressed. In this episode, Laura and Lynette break down these common divorce dynamics and provide strategies to help you navigate whichever position you're in. Whether you're feeling trapped in a gilded cage with everything provided for you, or you're overwhelmed with stress, paying the bills, and managing all the responsibilities, this episode offers practical advice on how to shift the balance and move forward in your divorce journey.

Listen to This Episode If You:

🌟 Feel like you're stuck in divorce limbo and don’t know how to move forward.
❓ Are overwhelmed with financial or emotional stress during your divorce.
💡 Need strategies to encourage your ex to engage in mediation or negotiation.
🛡 Are sitting comfortably but worried about what might happen if things change.
📚 Want to ensure you’re not being manipulated or controlled during the divorce process.

Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:

Sitting Pretty vs. Overstressed: Understanding the two primary positions in divorce dynamics.
The Gilded Cage: Recognizing when comfort is actually a trap and why it’s important to start planning your next steps.
Overcoming Financial Stress: Tips for managing overwhelming financial responsibilities and negotiating support.
Mediation Strategies: How to encourage your ex to come to the table and negotiate fairly.
The Impact on Kids: Why dragging out a divorce can harm children and how to avoid it.
Balancing the Scales: Practical steps to move from an overstressed position to a more balanced dynamic.
The Importance of Knowledge: How understanding your rights and the divorce process can protect you from manipulation.
Finding Incentives: Creating motivation for both parties to settle and move forward.

Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:

Related Episodes:

Webinars and Courses:

Emergency Contacts:

WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)

Thank you for tuning in to this episode on navigating divorce dynamics. Whether you're sitting pretty or completely overstressed, understanding your position is the first step to moving forward. If you found this podcast helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps others find the support they need. Stay strong and take care.

Episode 165 Divorce Dynamic: Balancing Power & Progress

Introduction to Divorce Dynamics

Understanding the 'Sitting Pretty' Position

Exploring the 'Overstressed' Position

Strategies for Financial Stress

Navigating Manipulative Tactics

The Role of Emotions in Divorce

Understanding Your Legal Rights

Navigating Separation and Living Arrangements

Emotional Preparedness and Counseling

Financial Preparations and Legal Timelines

The Importance of Mediation

Impact on Children and Family Dynamics

Taking Action and Seeking Help

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Next Episode

Defending Against DARVO & Narcissists: 8 Tactics to Protect Yourself in Divorce & Family Court

The DARVO method—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—is a tactic often employed by narcissists in legal battles, particularly during divorce or family court cases. In this episode, we shed light on the DARVO strategy and share eight essential ways to protect yourself against it. Whether you’re facing family violence court, property settlement agreements, or a child custody battle, these insights will empower you to stay calm, gather evidence, and ensure your truth is heard. Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances. Listen to This Episode If You:

🌟 Are dealing with a narcissistic ex who might be the type to manipulate the narrative in court.
❓ Want to understand the DARVO method and how it impacts family court cases.
💡 Need strategies to counteract manipulation and lies in affidavits or legal documents.
🛡 Want to protect yourself from being gaslit and maintain your mental health.
📚 Are looking for ways to keep communication calm and factual during a contentious divorce.

Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:

Understanding DARVO: What it means and how it shows up in legal battles.
Importance of Written Communication: Why all communication should be documented via emails or apps.
Respond, Don't React: Techniques for staying calm and responding thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally.
Gathering Evidence: How to collect and organise evidence to challenge false claims.
Setting Firm Boundaries: The importance of setting clear boundaries to protect your mental health.
Affidavit Strategies: How to stick to the facts and tell your story effectively in legal documents.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race: Understanding that the truth will unfold over time with patience and perseverance.

Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:

Episodes for More Insight:

https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcasttwentyfive (Divorcing a narcissist: what to expect in the family law process and courts and how to prepare)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastthirtythree (The Narcissist Playbook in Divorce)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastfiftytwo (Co-parenting: How to successfully do it even with a high conflict, narcissistic controlling or avoidant ex partner.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastseventytoo (How To Use The Grey Rock Method in Divorce & Family Law Proceedings with a narcissistic ex)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastseventyfive (Co parenting and family court with a Narcissist)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetythree (Can you really mediate with a narcissist? Mediation and negotiation tips for divorcing an ex with narcissistic behaviours.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetyseven (The Post Separation Abuse Playbook and what you can do about it. Part 1)
Post-Separation Abuse: What You Need to Know
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetyeight (The Post Separation Abuse Playbook and what you can do about it. Part 2)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorceepisode113 (Why your narcissistic ex might want a parenting coordinator and what you can do about it)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode134 (Mind over matter: divorcing a narcissist)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode140 (The Narcissists’ Chess Board: Understanding The Divorce SLAY strategy
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninety (A simple way to protect your children from being used as chess pieces in your divorce or de facto separation)
Webinars and Courses: