Ep #307: The Path to Freedom: Are You Your Worst Enemy?

02/15/24 • 20 min

I am thrilled to discuss a result of my joy practice: Freedom, or as I prefer to call it, “freeing myself.” We often become our worst critics, creating unnecessary hurdles that block our joy. Today, I will share my journey and the unexpected reward of freeing myself from self-imposed expectations. When our conversations and thoughts revolve around unmet expectations in our business or personal lives, defeat becomes inevitable. Instead, let's focus on joy and freedom from self-inflicted burdens. Life's inevitable drama will persist, but the key lies in our response. What story will you choose to tell yourself? Together, let's embark on a path of joy and freedom. Joy and freedom are within reach for all of us.

IN THIS EPISODE:

[0:42]I introduce and describe “freeing myself,” which is directly related to her joy practice
[3:16] The changes I have made this year to experience freeing myself
[8:29] Seeing the change in my marriage
[11:52] I explore the changes in her faith
[14:27] Freedom regarding food and the way I live in my home
[16:52] I share why freedom and joy are not related to money

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Many of the reasons that we don’t or won’t ask for help is because we feel obligated to the person who gives us the support we need.
Making changes in our lives is difficult. When it involves a person who may work in our home or someone at work, we often don’t confront problems or make a change in personnel because it is much easier to live with the situation.
Many people feel if they aren’t a morning person, they must act like a morning person to be validated by themselves and others. The idea of not having a leisurely morning because that’s what you want and desire is ridiculous.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!
Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.
If you liked today’s episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.
Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook
Tobi’s Instagram
DesignYou High Performance Program

IN THIS EPISODE:

[0:42]I introduce and describe “freeing myself,” which is directly related to her joy practice
[3:16] The changes I have made this year to experience freeing myself
[8:29] Seeing the change in my marriage
[11:52] I explore the changes in her faith
[14:27] Freedom regarding food and the way I live in my home
[16:52] I share why freedom and joy are not related to money

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Many of the reasons that we don’t or won’t ask for help is because we feel obligated to the person who gives us the support we need.
Making changes in our lives is difficult. When it involves a person who may work in our home or someone at work, we often don’t confront problems or make a change in personnel because it is much easier to live with the situation.
Many people feel if they aren’t a morning person, they must act like a morning person to be validated by themselves and others. The idea of not having a leisurely morning because that’s what you want and desire is ridiculous.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!
Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.
If you liked today’s episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.
Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook
Tobi’s Instagram
DesignYou High Performance Program

Previous Episode

Ep #306: Joy in the Little Things

I am undergoing an internal transformation, and the catalyst for this change is the conscious cultivation of joy in my life. In this journey, I share my experiences of practicing joy throughout the day, highlighting its profound impact on me compared to my previous exploration of gratitude. Today, I'll delve into the simple pleasures that bring me joy, explaining how they help me stay in the present moment, steering clear of overwhelming responsibilities and diminishing any guilt associated with not working around the clock. I invite you to join me in embracing the practice of joy this year, observing its transformative effects on your mind, soul, and, ultimately, on the positive outcomes for your business.

IN THIS EPISODE:

[0:38] I discuss unmet expectations
[2:47:] The difference between practicing joy and practicing gratitude
[8:49] The freedom of seeking joy has changed over the last two generations
[15:22] I challenge my listeners to keep track of the “things” that give them joy, and I share a book called Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee. Ingrid points out the little things can bring you joy
[22:00] I explain why practicing joy through discipline doesn’t work for me, and I would love to hear your response and questions about experiencing joy daily

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Practicing joy is a choice. It is a mindset to begin working toward. Remove the negativity or the things you believe you should be doing and experience the joy of every moment. Take the pressure off your day and choose joy.
There is a difference between practicing joy and practicing gratitude. When you practice joy, every day brings new opportunities to find joy, and you live in the present. Practicing gratitude brings up guilt when comparing what you have and what others have.
Be ready to experience practicing joy this year and see what difference it makes in your business.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!
Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.
If you liked today’s episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.
Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook
Tobi’s Instagram
DesignYou High Performance Program
Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee

Next Episode

Ep #308: Creating Healthy, Joyful Relationships

My perspective on relationships shifts when I view the world through my “joy lens.” We've all experienced disappointment in romantic relationships or friendships. However, it's not always the fault of the relationship itself. Sometimes, it's the unrealistic expectations we impose upon it. We find ourselves let down when reality fails to match the narratives of love stories or romantic comedies we think it should be. But here's the truth: not every person we begin a friendship with is destined to be our lifelong friend or companion, and that's perfectly okay. Today, let's delve into the importance of creating space for others, setting boundaries, avoiding gossip, minimizing complaints, and dramatizing situations and relationships. Prepare for a fun, thought-provoking, and inspiring experience. You deserve healthy, joyful relationships; this episode is your guide to making them a reality!

IN THIS EPISODE:

[0:50] Today, we are talking about idealized love, romantic and friendships
[4:12] I discuss what I learned in my coaching certification training about romantic love and friendships
[7:47] I reveal how my daughter is navigating friendships in college
[14:01] The blame game of friendship
[18:31] I discuss the alternative of “what is wrong with you” to “what happened to you” and how we rank ourselves against others
[23:25] I apply “holding space” for others rather than judging them, how that affects my joy practice and a challenge to listeners
[29:34] The value of journaling coupled with the joy practice and being authentic when speaking with others

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Women need to recognize that expectations of how romantic love or friendship should go in our dream world are not reality. The rom-com expectations we have of those relationships are not real-life or sustainable.
Humans have a habit of labeling other humans. That practice is not helpful. When you have a problem with others, rather than labeling them “this or that,” you should decide they are not your person. Move on.
Rather than thinking about a person with “Why would you do that?” or “What is wrong with you,” it is better to consider that something could have happened to them. “What happened to you?” is a better way to view someone.

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW:

Ready to elevate your social media presence and supercharge your interior design business? Sign up for my live three-part training Show Up on Social Media Like a Pro!
Get the Build A Better Business Guide and be on your way to a business with more ease, more joy, and more money.
If you liked today’s episode and you have a moment, please leave me a rating and a review in Apple Podcasts.
Join the Design Biz Disrupters Community on Facebook
Tobi’s Instagram
DesignYou High-Performance Program.