181-Where Did Our Sex Life Go

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast, with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 181 or our show. Today, Stuart talks about the difference in sexual desire.

We come together quite often with different types of libidos, but when we first get together and the passion is there. After a period of time, you settle in with your partner, and reality and the stresses of life hits. We then begin to realize that our libidos are just not the same, and the sexuality diminishes.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• Difference between two different libidos [2:00]
• Come up with a sex number [3:00]
• Compromise by broadening your range of activities that are sexual [11:00]
• Talk about how things are going sexually for the two of you [13:00]
• If you have a higher sex drive, you should not take it personally if your partner has a lower libido drive [14:00]
• Do not be critical and negative about your partner [17:00]
• The cuddle hormone [18:10]
• Where is the compromise [20:20]
• Being comfortable with masterbation [21:30]
• You have to be really honest with one another [24:00]

Quote: “We can either jump on the trampoline, or we can just screw”

4 Tips when you have this sex drive difference:

1. Laughter; laugh about this, not make it as serious as it might feel.
2. Make the relationship the most important thing. You better have a relationship where your partner feels courted every day of your life. You need to stir up those romantic juices that quite often lead to more passion.
3. Instead of complaining about a “dry spell”, divert that sexual energy into other things. Allow your relationship to have ebbs and flows, and don’t let it get in the way of caring and loving of each other.
4. Your sex life is only one aspect of your relationship, and that the two of you, together, are going to make the caring and loving you have for one another more important than any sex act or pattern.

Thank you for spending part of your day with The Couples Experts. We hope you enjoyed the show and take away something meaningful to your relationship. Until next time stay connected!

The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Annual Relationship Checkup: Sure, we get our vehicles serviced, have maintenance done on our homes, and see our local GP to make sure our bodies are in good working order, but sadly, we tend to neglect one of the most important things in our lives – the health of our relationship. https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/annual-relationship-check-up/

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Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at [email protected]

*Today’s podcast was inspired in part, by Jessica McCleese’s article on Coping with Different libidos, and Michelle Weiner’s Tips for Partner’s with Higher Sex Drives.