The Unattractive Inside Open

Explicit content warning

05/12/21 • 69 min

We're haters, fine, but Madrid is just not the tournament for us. We get an unappealing winner on the men's side but a first-time clay titlist in Aryna Sabalenka, peaking just in time for Roland Garros. Elsewhere, the ATP loosens -- nay, practically obliterates -- its bubble restrictions ahead of RG. In major coaching news, Sofia Kenin parts ways with her dad. And finally, James takes another quiz. Does he redeem his putrid performance from last week? You be the judge.

1:55 Madrid. It happens every year but we don't have to like it

4:40 The repeated failure of the ATP to say or do anything of substance on domestic violence (great at deleting Instagram comments though)

15:45 Aryna Sabalenka wins first clay title in Stuttgart rematch

21:55 And now we are in Rome: Djokovic and Serena return

32:50 The ATP bursts its bubble, vaccine or not!

38:25 American men's tennis declares its independence from the top 30; Pavs gives a revealing interview; short shorts are the moment

49:25 Kenin & Garcia split from their coach-dads

53:55 James takes another quiz!

1:55 Madrid. It happens every year but we don't have to like it

4:40 The repeated failure of the ATP to say or do anything of substance on domestic violence (great at deleting Instagram comments though)

15:45 Aryna Sabalenka wins first clay title in Stuttgart rematch

21:55 And now we are in Rome: Djokovic and Serena return

32:50 The ATP bursts its bubble, vaccine or not!

38:25 American men's tennis declares its independence from the top 30; Pavs gives a revealing interview; short shorts are the moment

49:25 Kenin & Garcia split from their coach-dads

53:55 James takes another quiz!

Previous Episode

Nicely Plump

Struggling to keep up with all the tennis? So are we. Join us on this struggle bus episode where we go over the results since our last episode, leading up to Ash Barty and Rafa Nadal's wins this past week. If you haven't seen the Kasatkina interview/doc with sports.ru, it's truly a must-see tennis event. After we flog Fabio and Benoit, James takes a quiz where we end up flogging the U.S. men too. Hurrah.

2:30 Nadal wins 12th Barcelona crown, but it was far from guaranteed

5:30 Is Tsitsipas the ‘second favorite’ after Nadal? Don’t count out Djokovic

11:25 The Djokovic -- er, Serbia Open

19:55 Ash Barty makes it hard on her detractors

24:50 Monte Carlo: Rublev slays the giant and Tsitsipas breaks through

33:10 Madrid women’s draw

36:40 Kasatkina interview: Russian TV does not play!

42:10 Fabio, the boy who cried lupo; and French Federation to Benoit: we do not require your services, thank you

46:15 Other odds and ends: Yastremska update, Rena+Zina

50:50 James takes a rankings quiz! (This is much more fun than it sounds)

Next Episode

And What!!!

Nadal logged another decima, at Rome this time, which turned out to be one of the most exciting Masters tournaments in recent memory. While Nadal-Djokovic went the distance, Iga Swiatek dropped not even a game against Karolina Pliskova, The Unbothered. We chat about questions surrounding Sabalenka's views; Roger Federer's comments on the Zverev case and why it's emblematic of a much larger problem, or the system working as intended; and the latest intrigue from the ongoing Yastremska doping circus.

0:00 I can't control God. Talk to him.

2:10 Swiatek blanks 2019 winner Pliskova; Karolina gives a master class on being unbothered

9:35 Rain and retirements; plus Coco, Martic, Simona, and Ash

20:40 "Il Next Gen siamo noi" - Nadal/Djokovic #57

32:30 Sonego; Reilly's Venus Effect; these dangerous Rome courts -- this is what labour unions are for

41:40 Williamses in Parma, Federer in Geneva, and packed draws everywhere

48:45 Addressing the murmurs about Sabalenka's political allegiances

55:20 The Yastremska story gets even weirder .. and "riskier"

60:40 About those Federer comments on Z*erev ... we can and should expect more

73:05 Shapo drops 3 new songs!

76:30 Things we like/dislike - why is Jonathan coming for me?