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The Big D - Breaking up with The Man: with Carlos Andrés Gómez and Jeff Perera

Breaking up with The Man: with Carlos Andrés Gómez and Jeff Perera

09/01/22 • 62 min

The Big D
We're back baby! In this season two opener, I interview some of my favourite people, Carlos Andrés Gómez and Jeff Perera. We talk about helpful and unhelpful ideas of manhood and how they influence relationships. And of course, breakups. These unhelpful ideas of masculinity are not intrinsic to men or masculine people. So we talk a lot about character and qualities, what underpins gut reactions, and how we can do things differently. Together, Carlos and Jeff are the perfect messengers and I'm thrilled and entirely honoured to be kicking off the season with them. This episode is loaded with sweet metaphors, laughs, and mic drops: this conversation was like a healing balm. Join The Big D community by supporting on Patreon or following along on Instagram! - Carlos Andrés Gómez is a Colombian American poet, speaker, and equity & inclusion strategist from New York City. Gómez's poetry collection Fractures (University of Wisconsin Press, 2020) was selected by Natasha Trethewey as the winner of the 2020 Felix Pollak Prize in Poetry. Winner of the Foreword INDIES Gold Medal and the International Book Award for Poetry, Gómez has been published in New England Review, Beloit Poetry Journal, The Yale Review, and elsewhere. For more, please visit: CarlosLive.com Jeff Perera is a renowned speaker and facilitator having spoken across North America about our construction of gender, helpful versus harmful ideas of manhood, and inspiring men towards empathy-building, facing hard truths, and helping end gender-based violence. Jeff encourages men and young men to 'Be The Lesson in Action' and strive to become models of possibility for other men. Jeff started HigherUnlearning.com as an online space to explore how our ideas of masculinity impact all of us. You can hear, read, or watch media appearances, interviews, and news articles there.
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We're back baby! In this season two opener, I interview some of my favourite people, Carlos Andrés Gómez and Jeff Perera. We talk about helpful and unhelpful ideas of manhood and how they influence relationships. And of course, breakups. These unhelpful ideas of masculinity are not intrinsic to men or masculine people. So we talk a lot about character and qualities, what underpins gut reactions, and how we can do things differently. Together, Carlos and Jeff are the perfect messengers and I'm thrilled and entirely honoured to be kicking off the season with them. This episode is loaded with sweet metaphors, laughs, and mic drops: this conversation was like a healing balm. Join The Big D community by supporting on Patreon or following along on Instagram! - Carlos Andrés Gómez is a Colombian American poet, speaker, and equity & inclusion strategist from New York City. Gómez's poetry collection Fractures (University of Wisconsin Press, 2020) was selected by Natasha Trethewey as the winner of the 2020 Felix Pollak Prize in Poetry. Winner of the Foreword INDIES Gold Medal and the International Book Award for Poetry, Gómez has been published in New England Review, Beloit Poetry Journal, The Yale Review, and elsewhere. For more, please visit: CarlosLive.com Jeff Perera is a renowned speaker and facilitator having spoken across North America about our construction of gender, helpful versus harmful ideas of manhood, and inspiring men towards empathy-building, facing hard truths, and helping end gender-based violence. Jeff encourages men and young men to 'Be The Lesson in Action' and strive to become models of possibility for other men. Jeff started HigherUnlearning.com as an online space to explore how our ideas of masculinity impact all of us. You can hear, read, or watch media appearances, interviews, and news articles there.

Previous Episode

undefined - Big D x Sister On! Crossover: Reframing Divorce

Big D x Sister On! Crossover: Reframing Divorce

Hello everyone, I’ve missed you.

This is a special bonus episode of The Big D, a crossover with Sister On!

In this episode I'm joined by sister one-of-two, Nat Davey, to talk about reframing divorce. How can we put this painful process in a new light and learn to choose ourselves over relationships? We each share pivotal moments where our understanding and approach to the divorce has changed - Nat, 10+ years out, and me, 1.5.

About Sister On!
Two very different sisters (one artist/entrepreneur, one teacher/philosopher) work through some of their lives' big hurdles, using humour and the superpower they like to call "reframing."

Next Episode

undefined - Divorce vows to myself: with officiant Chris Lafazanos

Divorce vows to myself: with officiant Chris Lafazanos

In this episode I talk to Chris Lafazanos, a celebrant or officiant, and ceremony guide, about her own love and divorce story, how she created a divorce ceremony for herself. We do a deep dive into all the ways the hetero, white supremacist, capitalist, colonial patriarchy builds up marriage, to warp our perspective, experiences, and ultimately set us up for failure. Even how these systems define and put a value judgement on what 'failure' means. Most importantly we talk about all the beautiful things we can create together to make up for lost, broken, or missing ceremony. Alone, with our current or past partners, and our community. Throw in a few references to astrology, cultural appropriation, and being so, so happy to be queer.

Join The Big D community by supporting on Patreon or following along on Instagram!

-

As a ceremony guide, Chris Lafazanos (she/her) supports people in creating meaningful, story-filled ceremonies that are either non-religious or spiritual to mark life’s important milestones like weddings, memorials, child welcoming ceremonies and divorce ceremonies. She’s passionate about how ceremony builds individual and community resilience as it creates opportunities for connection—to both celebrate together and grieve together. As a queer person, Chris is focused on serving fellow 2SLGBTQ in ceremony. For more information, check out woven-threads.ca

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