THAT sex ed podcast

This is an episode for parents and caregivers who are: worried their kids might see porn / their kids HAVE seen porn and they don't know what to do. We'd also love to hear from anyone who has dealt with this tricky subject with success (email us [email protected]).
In this episode, Justine and Jenny talk about how confronting it is when you learn your child has seen sexual material online. Topics covered: gaming and grooming; what we've dealt with as parents ourselves; what parents should think about *before* they give their kids a mobile phone; parental controls and filters (see helpful resources listed below); invasion of our kids' privacy versus keeping them safe; the value of talking to other parents -- especially those with older children. They've been through it and have great advice. More topics: TikTok and online sexual exploitation of young people; the power of 'likes' and 'follows'; Heartstopper, a TV show that Justine really likes; the idea of phone contracts; talking with other parents before sleepovers and playdates (are we more worried about offending another adult or protecting our children?); how to talk about porn with even very young children.
Resources we think are good:
eSafety Commissioner (website)
Common Sense Media (website where you can learn about film, TV, games and apps)
Culture Reframed (website pushing back against sexualisation of young people)
Officer Gomez on Facebook (US-based, works in schools and is quite 'zero tolerance' with tech, which may not always be practical however is great for trends, what the latest apps are and how kids use technology -- and some of the tricks they learn)
Family Zone (website, Australian, has filter products and a help service/desk where parents can contact to get help with setting up)
You Know Sex - Cory Silverberg (book, which includes conversation starters)

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support. Primary resources are listed here and secondary resources here
Send us questions or comments to [email protected]
Thanks for listening!
Jenny + Justine

Justine chats with Kardie Whelan, a disability and community educator at Sexual Health Victoria. Kardie has worked as a sexuality educator for people with cognitive disability for the past 15 years, and in a variety of disability settings including special schools and TAFEs.

Mentioned:

• About language – what to use and what not to use
• person first approach to language
• Assumptions people shouldn’t make about a person with a disability
• Children and young people with a disability are at greater risk of sexual abuse
• The idea of approaching sexuality education from a place of pleasure rather than risk or protection platforms

Final tips

1. Talk early, talk often
2. Avoid jargon, innuendo
3. Be clear
4. Be concise

Resources

· https://www.secca.org.au/
· SECCA app
· Planet Puberty
· Anatomically correct dolls
· https://www.amaze.org.au/2019/03/amaze-launches-autism-accessible-menstruation-resources/
· SHV Special Schools Toolkit

Books

· About Masturbation for Males
· About Masturbation for Females
· Special Boys Business
· Puberty and Special Girls
· Things Tom likes
· Things Ellie likes
· What’s Happening to Ellie
· What’s happening to Tom

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support. Primary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/resources-for-parents/ and secondary resources here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/
Send us questions or comments to [email protected]
Thanks for listening!
Jenny + Justine

Justine and Jenny talk ‘nuts and bolts’ – safer sex, STIs and contraception. We know how important it is for young people to learn how to take charge of all aspects of their health -- including their sexual health if that becomes part of their lives -- as they're growing up. Having a conversation with your young person is not promoting anything other than the idea that you want them to be informed in a way that will help them be healthy, well and safe. Research tells us young people want to hear from their parents about these topics – even if you think they’re not listening, keep talking!
*** Disclaimer: we aren’t medical professionals or lawyers. This information (as well as what's presented in the episode) is for education purposes only.
Please make sure you seek professional advice if necessary ***

Topics we cover:

• Confidentiality – eg ‘Can I see a doctor on my own? Will they tell my parents?’
• What is a ‘mature minor’?
• Medicare cards and bulk billing
• How parents can consider starting a conversation around the topic of medical rights with their teenager
• Sexually Transmissible Infections (STIs)/contraception
• Suggest young people to do research online around contraception (from credible sources)
• Encourage young people to fact check, eg getting health info from TikTok etc. There are some good educators but also a lot of people with agendas and misinformation
• Parents should let their young people know if they hear something that seems wrong or contradicts what they know or were taught, it’s important to check in about it
• Condoms – most easily-accessed and used form of contraception. Also protect pretty well against STIs
• Dams
• Emergency contraception (EC), also known as Plan-B by many young Australians
• IUDs
• STI tests at least once a year if sexually active
• Stigma of STIs, disclosure of STI status to partner
• UTIs/thrush/cystitis – not STIs but can be common and are something to be managed
• Consent
• Importance of being inclusive, and parents acknowledging that not all humans want to be sexual; some practice celibacy for various reasons, some identify as asexual

Services we mention:

Better Health Channel

Sexual Health Victoria

SHV Melbourne Clinic

Freecall 1800 013 952
Telephone 03 9660 4700

Mon-Fri 9am-5pm
Level 1, 94 Elizabeth Street
Melbourne VIC 3000

Jean Hailes

TikTok educator – Sex Ed with DB (18+ material; it’s ‘out there’ so be prepared)

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support.

Secondary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/
Send us questions or comments to [email protected]
Thanks for listening!
Jenny + Justine

In this wide-ranging discussion, Jenny speaks with one of our fabulous educators. Rebecca is in her fifth year working for Sex Education Australia. She is secondary-trained as a teacher and hadn’t taught sex ed before joining our company. While working with SEA, Rebecca has dabbled with all the grades but generally works in Year 5 and above, and at the secondary level. She has also done a bit of teacher training around inclusive language

We talk:

• Gender roles, parenting roles and balancing child care with ‘outside the home’ work
• How different families can be
• The idea of ‘lead’ or ‘primary’ carer
• The importance of listening, being exposed to perspectives we disagree with
• Rebecca gives a great explanation of sexual intercourse – ‘something that grown-ups can do with their bodies’. Rebecca’s 5 1⁄2 year old happy to leave it at that
• Advice to parents if have child asking to be called a different name or referring to themselves as a gender they weren’t assigned at birth. Some children are working out identity stuff really early

And there are so many great quotes from Rebecca:

‘Two years ago no [students] would have known the term ‘non binary’

‘The concepts are relatively simple, when you take the politics out of it’

‘If you talk about people’s feelings, and you don’t write anybody’s feelings off and everyone’s allowed to have their feelings and have their perspective in a way that doesn’t dehumanise other people, that’s the closest we can maybe come to taking the politics out’

‘ People who have daughters are really across this stuff... people who have sons think one of two things: ‘Oh he’s just a little baby still – sweet and innocent still, I don’t want to corrupt him’ or they think ‘well that’s just part of what it is to grow up to be a man and he’ll get through “gross puberty” and we’ll send him off and he’ll just get on with it.’

‘I’m coming across these boys like today, who follow me out of the room and say “Rebecca, thank you so much.” And look me in the eye. And they are so genuine because they have not had somebody chat with them about the basic functions of their body.’

‘The focus should be basic universal ideas around respect and consent’

‘We need more men around who can model masculinity in positive ways’

‘The idea that boys and men are unable to process their feelings without a woman – they need a sister or mum [to help them do that]’ . Idea from book Peggy Orenstein ‘Boys and Sex’

‘Talk to people that you respect and trust who are well-read and who understand what the best research and best practices are. Read books, talk with your partner if you have one, think about how it’s going to work in your broader family.’

Resources:

Boys and Sex – Peggy Orenstein

Ezra Klein Show on Apple Podcasts

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ezra-klein-show/id1548604447

Rainbow Family Playgroups

Billie B Brown and Hey Jack – Sally Rippin and Aki Fukuoka

Anything by Cory Silverberg
Visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au to browse our pages for more resources, information and support.
Send us questions or comments to [email protected]
Thanks for listening!
Jenny + Justine

Join Justine and Jenny as they talk about parenting, and specifically about how we can be so worried about 'getting things right' the first time we have a discussion with our child about something important (and tricky). Often, they’re conversations about puberty, sex or consent that feel so weighty because they're so important.
Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for resources, information and support.
Thanks for listening!
Jenny + Justine
Note: we may use gender binary terms in these early episodes, recorded two years ago. In more recent episodes we will use more inclusive language.