Love for Mental Illness | Andy Hogan | #104
10/28/24 • 64 min
Today we welcome licensed mental health counselor Andy Hogan, who shares his personal journey with mental illness and how it has influenced his work with others. Andy introduces his REACH acronym—a powerful tool designed to support both those living with mental illness and their loved ones. The discussion dives into the importance of love over fear in the healing journey, methods to recognize and manage symptoms, and ways to build empathy and connection. Learn how to better support mental health with compassion and understanding.
About Andy Hogan:
Andrew personally suffered a manic psychosis breakdown while serving a mission in Taiwan. He was tranquilized and woke up in a hospital in Provo. During a month-stay in the hospital, his high school sweetheart decided to end their relationship. They never talked about why, she just slowly made less and less contact and avoided him over a period of time. 3 years later, Andrew became so desperate for an answer, he proposed. She said, "I can't." This was his rock bottom moment, where the choice was either stop living or start to REACH.
REACH
1. Recognize the source of my symptoms.
2. Emerge from denial and isolation.
3. Authenticate self and mental illness.
4. Control the disorder as we are able.
5. Heighten our lives.
While learning to REACH, Andrew started dating again. On jod first date with Sariah who had also served a mission in Taiwan, he told her he was the one who went crazy on the island. She replied, "That was you?" She had served in a different mission over a year after his breakdown, but she had heard about the missionary who went crazy. After our date, Sariah talked to her parents who said, "If you decide to love him, we will love him too." They chose to give love for mental illness and Sariah courageously decided to keep dating me. Their marriage started as a choice for love instead of a reaction to fear of mental illness. Making that choice again and again for going-on 30 years now, is how REACH has made for happiness and growing connection in their relationship.
Insights:
- Andy: "the thing you can do to help someone with mental illness or to help yourself, if you're the one, if you recognize mental illness in yourself, the thing you can do is to face your fears and learn to love in your thoughts, in your beliefs and in your actions, and it works, it helps. Give love for mental illness."
- Liz: "I love this whole idea about fear really creates more pain, creates more separation, but that love and acceptance would create, that's what creates health and connection. They stuff that was really beautiful. I'm going to think differently about mental illness because of our time with you, Andy."
- Dave: "I love the reach acronym. Our illness doesn't define us. It is our feelings. All that we're struggling with doesn't define us."
Links:
https://www.youtube.com/@reachandyhogan
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Today we welcome licensed mental health counselor Andy Hogan, who shares his personal journey with mental illness and how it has influenced his work with others. Andy introduces his REACH acronym—a powerful tool designed to support both those living with mental illness and their loved ones. The discussion dives into the importance of love over fear in the healing journey, methods to recognize and manage symptoms, and ways to build empathy and connection. Learn how to better support mental health with compassion and understanding.
About Andy Hogan:
Andrew personally suffered a manic psychosis breakdown while serving a mission in Taiwan. He was tranquilized and woke up in a hospital in Provo. During a month-stay in the hospital, his high school sweetheart decided to end their relationship. They never talked about why, she just slowly made less and less contact and avoided him over a period of time. 3 years later, Andrew became so desperate for an answer, he proposed. She said, "I can't." This was his rock bottom moment, where the choice was either stop living or start to REACH.
REACH
1. Recognize the source of my symptoms.
2. Emerge from denial and isolation.
3. Authenticate self and mental illness.
4. Control the disorder as we are able.
5. Heighten our lives.
While learning to REACH, Andrew started dating again. On jod first date with Sariah who had also served a mission in Taiwan, he told her he was the one who went crazy on the island. She replied, "That was you?" She had served in a different mission over a year after his breakdown, but she had heard about the missionary who went crazy. After our date, Sariah talked to her parents who said, "If you decide to love him, we will love him too." They chose to give love for mental illness and Sariah courageously decided to keep dating me. Their marriage started as a choice for love instead of a reaction to fear of mental illness. Making that choice again and again for going-on 30 years now, is how REACH has made for happiness and growing connection in their relationship.
Insights:
- Andy: "the thing you can do to help someone with mental illness or to help yourself, if you're the one, if you recognize mental illness in yourself, the thing you can do is to face your fears and learn to love in your thoughts, in your beliefs and in your actions, and it works, it helps. Give love for mental illness."
- Liz: "I love this whole idea about fear really creates more pain, creates more separation, but that love and acceptance would create, that's what creates health and connection. They stuff that was really beautiful. I'm going to think differently about mental illness because of our time with you, Andy."
- Dave: "I love the reach acronym. Our illness doesn't define us. It is our feelings. All that we're struggling with doesn't define us."
Links:
https://www.youtube.com/@reachandyhogan
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Previous Episode
Infertility Trauma, Reproductive Health, and Therapy | Amelia Hopkin | #103
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm talk with licensed clinical social worker Amelia Hopkin about the emotional and physical struggles associated with infertility. Amelia shares how fertility issues impact relationships, the role of family support, and the healing power of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) for couples dealing with reproductive health trauma. She also provides guidance on navigating infertility treatments and offers valuable resources for those on this difficult journey.
About Amelia Hopkin:
Amelia Hopkin has spent the last 23 years providing help and building relationships with medical providers, community organizations, researchers, educators and most importantly, families who experience one of the hardest kinds of experiences... Infant or pregnancy loss, infertility, unexpected birth experiences, various degrees and types of postpartum depression, NICU stays as well as sexual or health related trauma. She has been a speaker and trainer at both national and international conferences (ask her about speaking to the UN and her month at the HRC!), a published researcher, is certified in EMDR and trained in ART (the therapy kind, she's a horrible artist and needs to label her stick figures). As one of the only trained EMDR intensive providers in the state of Utah, she helps those who have limited time and significant trauma find deep and meaningful healing. Click on the EMDR tab for more info on that. When not in the office, Amelia may be getting in over her head on a DIY project, reading books, dreaming up a new travel adventure, finding nature, looking for ways to avoid doing laundry or trying out a new restaurant or recipe.
Insights:
- Amelia: "...if you're experiencing fertility struggles, you are not alone, that number is one in six. There are some really fantastic resources."
- Liz: "the thought of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, right with whatever it is that is troubling us..."
- Dave" "I think my takeaway the day really is the no shame, no blaming of yourself through this journey, I'm sure, so easily to turn inward and then to have those suffocating feelings that can feel overwhelming, that affect your marriage and your outlook, your life, your eating, sleeping every this will affect your life
in so many ways. I hope people won't go there or stay there too long. Did you realize this is nothing you did you know anything so not that. Avoid that blame and shame game. Keep those eyes up and looking for resources and help."
Links:
https://www.growing-the-good.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Next Episode
Listening and Emotional Regulation | Heather Holmgren | #105
Today Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Heather Holmgren, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Simple Modern Therapy. Heather shares insights on emotional regulation, the essential skill of deep listening, and how to approach conflict with curiosity rather than reactivity. She explains the importance of self- awareness, emotional control, and co-regulation to help couples navigate difficult conversations. Heather provides actionable advice for slowing down during conflicts, truly hearing your partner, and fostering a healthy, supportive relationship.
About Heather:
Heather Holmgren, LMFT and founder of Simple Modern Therapy, has committed her 20-year career to understanding what makes a modern relationship thrive. Through it all she has found this much to be true: if you aren't happy with yourself, your intimate and professional relationships are likely to fail. She has built a flourishing career and flourishing practice helping contemporary individuals, relationships and families learn to love each other, “Love Yourself and Love Your Life."
She is one of eight incredible therapists providing support to individuals and relationships in downtown Salt Lake City (and Utah, virtually). All Simple Modern therapists have additional training and expertise in relationship work, as well as providing affirming care to LGBTQIA+ relationships.
Heather is passionate about professional mentorship and has supervised clinicians for the last ten years. She is a strong advocate for the practice of good mental hygiene, and can be found speaking on this topic, as well as relationship related issues on Good Things Utah, at Edison House and for corporations across the state. You can also find Heather, with her colleague Andrès Brown, providing training, support and consultation to the larger therapeutic community, expanding the reach of skilled and affirming inclusive relationship therapy.
Insights:
- Heather: "The more aware you are of where you are emotionally, what kind of outside stressors are impacting your mental health and mood can really be a big factor in how you're showing up in your relationships."
- Liz: "Just thinking about speaking of being generous and kind. I think listening is one of the more generous and kindest things that we can do."
- Dave: "I think it's when you're talking about the pause. I just think that there's a power in the pause. The power in the pause to be able to not react, to be able to gives us at least a chance, pause, take a breath, allow our hearts, our minds, our brains, to be able to okay, I'm going to reflect and respond instead of react right now."
Links:
https://www.instagram.com/simplemoderntherapy/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/SimpleModernTherapy
https://www.linkedin.com/company/simple-modern-therapy/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
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