Helping Women Have Better Marriages | Maggie Reyes | #99

09/23/24 • 38 min

In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz
Hale chat with Maggie Reyes, a master certified life coach and marriage mentor. Maggie shares five powerful questions that women can use to improve their marriages, without needing their partner to change. These questions help women shift their mindset, engage their emotional intelligence, and create positive change in their relationships. Maggie emphasizes the importance of understanding our emotions, managing expectations, and grieving unmet hopes while building strong, lasting connections. Learn how asking the right questions can transform your marriage and empower you as a partner.

About Maggie:

Maggie Reyes is a Master Certified Life Coach and Modern Marriage Mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create their best marriages, without waiting for their partners to change or adding more work to their lives.

She is the creator of The Marriage MBA Program, a 6 month mentorship in creating a successful marriage using principles from positive psychology, cognitive science and simple coaching tools that you can learn today and apply tomorrow.

Maggie is the author of the best selling Questions for Couples Journal which has over 3,000 4 star ratings on Amazon. And she is the host of the The Marriage Life Coach Podcast which is consistently ranked among the top 2 percent podcasts out of over 2 million podcasts tracked by ListenNotes. When she isn’t teaching or coaching she loves obsessing over Formula 1 Racing, Bridgerton, reading fan fiction, sexy romance novels and watching superhero movies and Mexican Rom Coms with her hubby.

Insights:

Maggie: "That you have choices, that you can think about what you want in your relationship and then take positive forward action towards that. I think that's the core of everything that I teach. And if someone is listening to us today and feeling frustrated or feeling sad, if I could just be that voice in your ear that says you have choices."
Dave: "I'm going to actually combine both of your takeaways. I love that generosity Liz and the choices Maggie. I often call this, and it's been re iterated today. I think a challenge of lifetime. There are probably many challenges of lifetime. One of the those who stuck my mind lately, and it relates to what we're talking about today, is feeling disappointed, feeling feeling stressed, feeling worried, feeling irritated, even feeling angry, all those right, natural emotions we're going to feel those in our relationships. I believe this is difficult. That's why it's the challenge of a lifetime to feel all of that and still be kind, and still be generous."
Liz: "That generosity is the highest form of love, being generous. And like you said, sometimes it doesn't, life doesn't call for that, right? But I think, especially in love and in marriage, generosity is often, I think, the call of the day. So I love that."

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com

About Maggie:

Insights:

Maggie: "That you have choices, that you can think about what you want in your relationship and then take positive forward action towards that. I think that's the core of everything that I teach. And if someone is listening to us today and feeling frustrated or feeling sad, if I could just be that voice in your ear that says you have choices."
Dave: "I'm going to actually combine both of your takeaways. I love that generosity Liz and the choices Maggie. I often call this, and it's been re iterated today. I think a challenge of lifetime. There are probably many challenges of lifetime. One of the those who stuck my mind lately, and it relates to what we're talking about today, is feeling disappointed, feeling feeling stressed, feeling worried, feeling irritated, even feeling angry, all those right, natural emotions we're going to feel those in our relationships. I believe this is difficult. That's why it's the challenge of a lifetime to feel all of that and still be kind, and still be generous."
Liz: "That generosity is the highest form of love, being generous. And like you said, sometimes it doesn't, life doesn't call for that, right? But I think, especially in love and in marriage, generosity is often, I think, the call of the day. So I love that."

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com

Previous Episode

Overcoming The Trauma of Betrayal | Crystal Hollenbeck | #98

In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome betrayal trauma expert Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck to discuss the emotional complexities and recovery strategies for betrayal trauma. The conversation dives into the impact of betrayal, particularly the intense anger experienced by the betrayed partner, and how to navigate the healing process. Dr. Hollenbeck outlines therapeutic techniques, including her self-regulation model, and discusses why many partners remain in relationships post-betrayal. This episode is filled with practical advice, research-backed insights, and hope for those struggling to overcome the devastating effects of betrayal in relationships.

About:

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Betrayal Trauma Specialist and helps couples heal the wounds of
betrayal trauma. Her article recently published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
provides recommendations for clinicians to help betrayed partners manage the complexity of
betrayal trauma anger. Her book entitled, "Betrayal Trauma Anger: You are not crazy, you are
angry, and you should be" is coming soon.

Crystal is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Florida State Qualified Supervisor for those seeking a license in Mental Health Counseling or Marriage and Family Therapy. In addition, she is also a Certified Professional Life Coach. Being a Therapist and a Life Coach gives her the unique ability to help clients heal from the past and live their best life today. Her approach to counseling and coaching is non-judgmental, caring, and solution focused. She believes counseling and coaching are an essential part of a person’s ability to live the life they desire and she strives to provide a counseling setting where you can feel safe to work through the difficulty you are facing with hope. Dedicating her life to helping others as a therapist and
coach is a result of post traumatic growth from her own personal life experiences.

Insights:

Crystal - "Betrayal is a devastating injustice. And although you're going to feel like you're crazy, you're not crazy, you're angry and you should be."
Dave - "I think the take home for me, at least one of the many, is that avoiding that self-blame, it's that all of a sudden that inward right and anger, anger turns this inward, and then it's some of this, you know, maybe outward at first, but then it's this inward of what? What did I do? Am I not skinny enough? Why? Why did they do kind of searching for the why and then blaming themselves for this? I love that message."
Liz - "I've never heard the great advice around self-harm regarding using an ice cube, rubber band, rubber band, I've heard, but Ice Cube I haven't. I really love both of those, actually. So, thank you for that. Because as I get that, I get that you're just trying to use access to physical pain to release the emotional pain. Makes perfect sense, actually, but harmful. We're just continuing the on the harm, so w

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com

Next Episode

Resilience Makes Marriage Last | Dr. Christian and Dr. Caroline Heim | #100

Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome renowned marriage experts, Dr. Christian Heim and Dr. Caroline Heim, from Australia. They discuss insights from the largest global study on long-term relationships, revealing the key elements that make marriages last. The conversation highlights the importance of commitment, altruism, and shared values while addressing the challenges of hyper-individualism, social isolation, and mental health struggles. Whether you're single, married, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers invaluable tools and perspectives to strengthen your relationship.

#marraigeadvice #resilience #marraigeresilience #makingmarriagework

About:

Christian Heim FRANZCP, PhD is a psychiatrist, a Clinical Director in Mental Health Services, Senior Lecturer in the School of Medicine at the University of Queensland and a Churchill Fellow. Christian gives keynotes internationally on preventative mental health. In private psychiatry, he subspecializes in war-related and severe childhood sexual trauma, and couple therapy where mental illness is prominent. Christian publishes books and journal articles in the area of preventative mental health. His latest book was co-authored with Caroline Heim: Resilient Relationships: techniques for surviving hyper-individualism, social isolation and a mental health crisis. (Routledge, 2023).

Caroline Heim is an Associate Professor at Queensland University of Technology. She has published two books in theatre studies and is a global authority on the psychology of relationships in the theatre. Caroline gives keynotes internationally and her numerous articles cover various topics from audiences to the mental health of university students. Specialising in empirical research, she has interviewed over 300 people internationally. Before entering academia, Caroline studied theatre and worked in New York winning a Drama League Award.

Insights:

Christian: "it doesn't matter how you do it. There are different ways to do things however your relationship works, is the way that your relationship works. Don't feel that you've got to find a formula, but the key to me is that your relationship is your greatest asset, and that means that it'll take some nurturing, it'll take some investment, it'll take time, energy and effort, but gosh, it's worthwhile."
Caroline: "'I'd say probably, is altruism, our second finding. Because, as I said, it's not much in the literature. And these couples that put the others needs before there's I could see that they had, again, this strong connection. And. So as we said, it's hard to do that in a in a society that says that everything's got to be about me, and it's about my needs, and if I'm not getting what I want from this relationship, then I'm out of here. But as one, as many of the couples actually said it's much easier to walk away and then to stay and fight for your marriage, you and me against the world, basically."
Dave: "At so many levels, I love this ide

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com

Stronger Marriage Connection - Helping Women Have Better Marriages | Maggie Reyes | #99

Transcript

0:00 – Introduction to Maggie Reyes
02:18 – Why women can change marriages
04:14 – Maggie’s background and career shift
06:36 – Power of questions over statements
08:15 – What would courage do now?
09:42 –What would my best self do?
12:00 –Replace “why” with “how”
13:13 –What am I making this mean?
15:25 –What do I want instead?
16:50 – Conversations and questions we don’t have
18:16 – Grieving unmet expectations
21:28