Steps and Tools for Emotional Intelligence

What are obsessions and how are they different from compulsions? Can obsessions and compulsions ever be good? What is OCD? What are the various forms of OCD?Dr. Greg Hamlin briefly explains an easy way to get a handle on these questions. The key is to have a clear understanding of what an obsession is and how compulsions appear to relieve the tension that's stirred up by obsessive thoughts. Once you understand the dance of one obsession and one compulsion, you can see how they work together to create an anxiety mechanism that can be quite strong inside the brain. This understanding allows us to see why runaway obsessions and compulsions can impair our emotional intelligence and hints at how to fight them.

In this episode, Dr. Greg Hamlin briefly explains what assertiveness is and what it is not. There really is a way to be assertive and still be a decent human being. He also explains why assertiveness is good for us to practice. Knowing your needs and how to communicate your needs effectively is a key aspect of emotional intelligence.

The research of Dr. John Gottman has spanned over 40 years and lays claim to the most scientific understanding of what makes couples happy together and what breaks them apart. In this episode Dr. Hamlin discusses Gottman's famous "Four Horsemen" as patterns of communication and how to use them in a dating relationship. Unless these 4 negative communication patterns are recognized and changed, the future spells trouble for the couple. These four ways of interacting are the most important areas to think about, talk about with each other, and change together.

Disappointments are a part of life. The smaller they are, the easier it is to "just get over it." But major loss brings disappointment to a whole new level. When loss has a magnitude that is earth-shattering we also find that our coping mechanisms are shattered. The death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, and even intangible losses can leave us floundering. This is because the grief process requires us to grow in our emotional intelligence in gut-wrenching ways. If we try to avoid this, we just prolong our misery.

The process of grief is a natural process of moving from point A (crushing loss that leaves us broken) to point B (full adjustment to our new reality). Sadly, there is much confusion about what grief is and what to do with it.

In this episode Dr. Hamlin offers tools to understand the process of grief and steps to move through it. He also describes how the right kind of therapy can make the whole process easier and faster.

People with mild paranoia often have difficulties in relationships. Their trust issues take a particular form. They are suspicious, quick to read between the lines, quick to assume that the person speaking with them has a hidden motive. At times, they will accuse others of having thoughts and intentions that are not there. It creates anger, frustration, and a whole boat-load of misunderstanding.

In this episode, Dr. Hamlin explains how to recognize this pattern in others and in one's self. He briefly discusses the causes of this way of thinking. Finally, he offers tips for how to deal with it in a constructive manner.