Its Ok To Be A Work in Progress with Host TIFFANY BARNES

07/29/22 • 34 min

Today I’m taking the time for a solo episode to talk about a few topics that have come to mind as I approach 40-years-old. A few conversations with friends and online interactions have brought inspiration for this episode of talking about how childhood trauma follows a person all the way into their adulthood behaviors.

Reflecting and Reminiscing

As I approach my birthday, I’ve been reminiscing and reflecting on the last and the next 40 years. I recently made a post on Facebook on the signs of high-functioning anxiety. On the outside, a person may appear as hard-working, organized, and someone who can work well under pressure—but beneath the surface, they may be overwhelmed, burnt out, and set unrealistic expectations.

All of this resonated with me greatly. To a stranger, my need to be busy might make me look like a hard worker rather than someone who doesn’t like to sit alone with their thoughts. The age-old adage, “You never know what someone else is going through,” still rings through, especially through the lens of social media.

Acknowledging Trauma-Based Behaviors

I recently did a poll asking, “What are some things you don’t realize you’re doing because of childhood trauma?” I found myself resonating with many of the answers and thought it would be helpful to share some of the responses. Childhood trauma can manifest in strange ways, such as attention-seeking behavior or a fight-or-flight mindset.

I, for one, find myself wanting to be recognized and heard. I often catch myself being too much of a people-pleaser or striving for perfection in order to be acknowledged. These were things I learned because of trauma, but there are ways to turn these behaviors into strengths. For example, since I work in hospitality, that people-pleasing thoughtfulness actually has positive impacts on my career. Recognizing trauma-related behaviors is the first step to healing the inner child.

Learning to Be Vulnerable

Having done this soul-searching leading up to my birthday, I think it’s important to say that it is okay to be vulnerable and share your struggles with others. You’re not alone in your suffering, and everyone—myself included—needs to know that it’s okay to have things that still need to be healed. Being a bit more honest with your struggles can, I think, lead to better conversation surrounding childhood trauma across the board.

Listen in to hear more on dealing with the repercussions of trauma as an adult and other ways childhood trauma manifests as unconscious behaviors.

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Reflecting and Reminiscing

Acknowledging Trauma-Based Behaviors

Learning to Be Vulnerable

Listen in to hear more on dealing with the repercussions of trauma as an adult and other ways childhood trauma manifests as unconscious behaviors.

Resources Mentioned

Join Me on Speak Loud Platform

Speak Loud Podcast on the web

Spread the message of Speak Loud Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!

Please review our podcast disclaimer on our website

Previous Episode

Finding A Friend in the Mirror with NATHAN OSMOND

Today I’m talking with Nathan Osmond, keynote speaker, actor, entertainer as well as humanitarian. He’s had 4 consecutive hit country singles, won the John C. Maxwell Leadership Award 2 years in a row, and been the recipient of Honorary Command Sergeant Major. He uses his music and platform to recognize non-profits and to make a difference. Nathan is here to speak loud about being your own friend in the mirror through self-talk and resilience.

Nathan has had his struggles with self-talk and self-image. Not long after returning from his mission abroad, he was cast in the leading role in ‘You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.’ He made extensive efforts to get into character but realized he may have internalized too much when he noticed self-esteem issues out of character. He had a heaviness that he couldn’t explain.

Nathan knew he had to be still and figure out what was going on with him, so he went to the temple where his parents were married to think and pray. Sitting in his car, he swears he heard a voice ask, “Why don’t you love yourself the way that I love you?” as if someone was in the passenger seat. Nathan decided then that he would love himself, be his own friend in the mirror, and stop taking himself so seriously.

When Nathan was a child, he was shy in the spotlight while the rest of his family was comfortable. After a nerve-wracking talk show appearance, his father told him that people wanted to hear what he had to say. Sometimes, Nathan recounts, you have to believe in someone else’s belief in you. He later went on to do more and more talk shows and eventually become a motivational speaker and podcaster.

During the pandemic, Nathan was affected by the change and uncertainty and started experiencing episodes of panic and worry. He even visited the hospital to see what was wrong. Eventually, he called his uncle, Donny Osmond, to tell him what was happening, who just laughed and said, “Welcome to the club.” Talking with his uncle, Nathan learned something: to stop seeing things as black-and-white and to live in the gray and let those feelings go. Own your moment.

To Nathan, there’s nothing that says, “This is how life has to be.” He’s found that he helps himself by helping others and listening to his own advice. “You’re speaking because you know what you need to hear,” he says. He wants to leave his mark on this world, whether it’s through music, speaking, or just being a father and husband. Sometimes you just need to ‘take a bit,’ as actors say, and pause to breathe before stepping into the spotlight.

Nathan knows that we’re all human with unique challenges, and hopes that listeners find value in what he’s shared, whether that’s loving themselves more, learning to laugh at themselves, or finding peace and joy in the journey. He encourages everyone to be their own friend in the mirror, and to ask, ‘What are you saying to yourself?’ and ‘Would you say it to someone else?’

Listen in to hear Nathan’s thoughts on seeing messages from a higher power, finding identity in who we are rather than what we do, and books he’s discovered in his journey with self-image.

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Next Episode

Trauma Informed Care through Ayahuasca with MICHAEL THORNHILL

Today I’m talking with Michael Thornhill, co-founder of Casa Galactica, an ayahuasca healing and evolutionary retreat based in Peru. He’s a traditionally-trained plant spirit healer and professional advocate for trauma-informed care. With Casa Galactica, Michael and his wife blend Eastern medicines with Western mindsets to transform years of suffering into an empowered state of mind.

Michael’s journey with plant medicine began with his journey in healing from addiction, trauma, and abuse. His struggle with substances began young and continued into his late 20s when he started to explore meditation and sound healing. From there, he was drawn to ayahuasca.

For Michael, ayahuasca was able to address the root cause of his addiction, alerting him to the fact that the life he lived was out of line with his deeper self. Following the medicine to Peru, Michael learned with indigenous teachers and found a deeper calling in guiding others to the same freedom and liberation he experienced. “There’s more to your life than just healing trauma,” Michael says. “It’s waiting for you.”

Ayahuasca refers to the ayahuasca vine and the leaves of the chacruna plant. The plant has a high concentration of DMT, while the vine acts as an MAO inhibitor. allowing for a deeper journey with the medicine. Journeys can last from 3-6 hours, in which the “veil of illusion dissolves,” allowing you to dive deeper, reframe repressed trauma, and heal past events.

Ayahuasca ceremonies are part of the national heritage of Peru, stemming from a long history of plant medicine wisdom. Ayahuasca is not only legal in Peru, but encouraged and protected as a form of healing. Other indigenous cultures throughout the world have lost their practices with plant medicine. Michael explains that ayahuasca is not a ‘drug,’ but a plant medicine, as it is something that helps you heal. Drugs are to escape. Plant medicines let you look closer,

Casa Galactica advocates for trauma-informed plant medicine journeys, sharing shamanic wisdom in a context that’s empowering and accessible for Western mindsets. Michael and his wife’s 10-day retreats consist of 4 ceremonies, which they found was enough time to get the most out of the plant’s healing. 10 days at Casa Galactica can catalyze life for the next 10 years, in Michael’s opinion.

Sitting with ayahuasca can be a difficult experience, especially when repressed trauma is surfacing. That’s why Michael and his wife focus on holding a safe space and being with their clients every step of the way. They pride themselves on transparency and intention, providing as much information and preparation as they can leading up to and throughout the retreat. Despite the difficulty, Michael says that sitting with the medicine “has always been worth it.” Even after ‘bad’ ceremonies, he himself came out feeling like a different person.

Michael hopes listeners learn that there are different options for healing and that while plant medicines are less known or understood in the western world, they are an option. “It’s all going to be okay,” he says as something he knows for certain.

Listen in to learn more about the medical and diet guidelines for ayahuasca journeys, the cost of Casa Galactica’s 10-day retreats, and how to book a free 30-minute consultation with Michael and his wife.

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