#15 This is why you need a NOT-TO-DO list

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I want to take better care of my skin. I want to take better care of myself. I want to exercise more. I want to… I want to…

But I don’t have time... Isn’t that everyone’s biggest problem today?

And I get it, you cannot fill anymore a glass that’s already full.

The problem is that our glass gets filled by other people. And when we want to add something, there’s no space.

Today, I want to talk about how to make space in your life and regain your time. So you can take better care of yourself, and do the things you want to do.

Anxiety. It is the most commonly experienced emotion in the US today. Unlike many other emotions, which live for a short period of time, Anxiety is something we carry all the time. Why? Why are we so anxious? What’s missing?

The one thing missing in most people’s lives today is time.

Time not to just react and respond to the constant demands on us, but time for ourselves.

And I wanna tell you that taking even a few minutes for yourself, to just breathe and connect, to think about the things YOU want from life… everything changes.

And if you don’t, you can cross your entire to-do list, every day, every week, every month…. And still feel empty.

Because what I’m talking about is a fulfilled life, a life you live on your time and your terms. Where you do the things you want. Instead of feeling anxiety. 

Which is so common for so many people… And you see people trying to change this state of anxiety all the time. To escape this emotional roller coaster.... 

So they can desperately find a moment of zen ...You know, the US has 5% of the global population, but consumes 90% of all the painkillers and 80% of all the cocaine out there. And it doesn’t have to be drugs. 

We reach for food when we’re not hungry for the same reasons. Because we get the same effect when we stuff our bellies. It feels GOOD. We relax. 

But are we fulfilled?

These hectic lives we live SUFFOCATING for time are draining us. Chipping away at our mental health. We are so busy chasing deadlines, running errands, doing house chores. We are putting out fires all the time.

And we are mostly taking care of EVERYONE ELSE’S NEEDS. But we don’t take care of our needs. We don’t stop to just feel. Or think. 

So while we chase the things to satisfy others… we reach out for something to get distracted ourselves. Because we need the ESCAPE. 

Why do people check their phones so often? Because it’s an ESCAPE from whatever they’re doing that’s NOT fulfilling enough.

And here’s a funny thing… when I ask someone - hey, what are you doing this weekend? Or what are you doing for the holiday? Many people feel uneasy if they say “I don’t have anything”. Because as a society, we put busyness on a pedestal.

It’s valuable. It makes you look good. You put-in the hours… Yeah! And we attach this stigma to “doing nothing”, to just having free time for ourselves.

So I want to share a few things that help me take control of time. 

Most of us actually have more time than we think. For example, what do you do when you commute to work? What do you fill that time with? How about the vacation days you earned at work, but you didn’t take? 

So many people don’t take the full amount of vacation they have. Which is crazy! The point is there are more gaps of time in our lives than we recognize. So try to find them. And think - what you do with this time? And can you do something else instead?

What causes this time-pressure induced anxiety so many people are feeling is this disconnect between your brain and your body where your brain is running at 100 miles an hour - I’ll do this and do that… and in 10 minutes it has concocted a whole new reality for you, but your body just started doing the first task along the way.

And you’re brain already feels you’re behind. So taking a moment to get centered after you finish a task, allows you to sync up your brain.. and your body.. so they are working together. 

And the most helpful exercise I do periodically that truly moves the needle in my life when it comes to owning my own time is making a not-to-do list. 

You’re so busy running and chasing things. But what are the things that you spend time on... that don’t serve your goals - whatever your goals are - taking care of yourself, personal growth, financial security, empowerment, family, faith, etc? 

Here’s a little story… Mom one day sees the gardener cutting the grass at my house… and she made a comment - you’re a big shot, huh. I said, no mom, it’s not that. It’s because I have my priorities straight. I want to make an impact on the...