Retrograde
09/30/24 • 12 min
Ep 30 - Retrograde (2004)
"In the past... Lies our future"
"Dolphy is being sent two hundred years in the past to prevent space bacteria from being unfrozen in Antarctica. Hey, wait a minute that’s this year. I’m sure that’s just a co-winky dink. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. With him is about a half dozen other people who are genetically superior, don’t worry one of them is a black woman, to make sure we don’t mistake them for nazis. It’s not like Dolph is short for Adolph or anything. Suddenly, all the future people wearing all-black motorcycle leathers mutiny on the half wearing black and red motorcycle racing leathers. A shootout ensues and soon everyone on Dolph’s side is dead, but he bravely fights his way into the cockpit. Heh, cockpit. There he shoots someone dead, and there’s a pool of blood under the dead body. I don’t mean he bleeds out. I mean in a fraction of a second a large human-sized pool of blood there, It’s fine though. Having borrowed the CGI software from the folks who made the Scorpion King, the spaceship, and ... well ... all of outer space leaves a lot to be desired. "
Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
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Ep 30 - Retrograde (2004)
"In the past... Lies our future"
"Dolphy is being sent two hundred years in the past to prevent space bacteria from being unfrozen in Antarctica. Hey, wait a minute that’s this year. I’m sure that’s just a co-winky dink. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. With him is about a half dozen other people who are genetically superior, don’t worry one of them is a black woman, to make sure we don’t mistake them for nazis. It’s not like Dolph is short for Adolph or anything. Suddenly, all the future people wearing all-black motorcycle leathers mutiny on the half wearing black and red motorcycle racing leathers. A shootout ensues and soon everyone on Dolph’s side is dead, but he bravely fights his way into the cockpit. Heh, cockpit. There he shoots someone dead, and there’s a pool of blood under the dead body. I don’t mean he bleeds out. I mean in a fraction of a second a large human-sized pool of blood there, It’s fine though. Having borrowed the CGI software from the folks who made the Scorpion King, the spaceship, and ... well ... all of outer space leaves a lot to be desired. "
Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Instagram.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Previous Episode
Cross
Ep 29 - Cross (2011)
"To stop an ancient evil, it's going to take big guns, hard sticks, and exploding balls."
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Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Instagram.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Next Episode
Spirit Halloween (The Movie)
Ep 31 - Spirit Halloween (The Movie) - 2022
"Possessing theaters this fall."
". . . The boys hide inside the props of the store and wait to be locked inside at closing time. The seasonal Spirit Halloween store is well organized and fully stocked, with never-opened costume packaging ... on Halloween night, instead of looking like a store that has been looted multiple times. No licensed costumes or costumes changed just enough to not be copyright infringement like Italian Plumber Man, Midweek Goth Girl, or Stabby Fist Sideburns Guy. At least the floors are sh*tty and dirty so that feels authentic . . . "
Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Instagram.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Silver Screen Cesspool - Retrograde
Transcript
From 2004 comes this week's movie mistake, Retrograde. The movie stars Dolph Lundgren and some guy named Joe Montana who never even played football. The film starts in a dystopian future of 2204, and Dolph Lundgren so well known for being a clear and well-spoken orator is the narrator of our story. It’ll be fine.
Dolphy is being sent two hundred years in the past to prevent space bacteria from being unfrozen in Antarctica. Hey, wait a minute that’s this year. I’m sure that’s jus
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