Future Kick
07/07/24 • 8 min
Ep27 - Future Kick (1991)
"A personal quest for vengeance, a high tech race for survival"... The head henchman goes rogue and kills his boss the corrupt police chief, and we’re into the final action sequence where our cyborg and the grieving widow take turns chasing and running from the head henchman and the second in command. Like all action sequences in this movie, calling this an action sequence is like calling speed walking a 100-meter dash. Our hero seems to have only one move kicking, and the villains seem to only know how to punch. It’s awkward and weird screen combat at its doofyist, and more importantly, robbed me of the chance to say “Everybody was king fu fighting.” When they give up on the hand-to-foot combat and decide to shoot at each other it’s obvious who’s getting shot, because the exploding blood packs are visible under clothing before they explode. All the other kids with their future kicks, are able to run, able to run faster than the bullets ....
Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
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Ep27 - Future Kick (1991)
"A personal quest for vengeance, a high tech race for survival"... The head henchman goes rogue and kills his boss the corrupt police chief, and we’re into the final action sequence where our cyborg and the grieving widow take turns chasing and running from the head henchman and the second in command. Like all action sequences in this movie, calling this an action sequence is like calling speed walking a 100-meter dash. Our hero seems to have only one move kicking, and the villains seem to only know how to punch. It’s awkward and weird screen combat at its doofyist, and more importantly, robbed me of the chance to say “Everybody was king fu fighting.” When they give up on the hand-to-foot combat and decide to shoot at each other it’s obvious who’s getting shot, because the exploding blood packs are visible under clothing before they explode. All the other kids with their future kicks, are able to run, able to run faster than the bullets ....
Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Instagram.com/SilverScreenCesspool
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Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
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Welcome to the Silver Screen Cesspool, where we review the poo! With your host, the surveyor of sh*tty cinema, the mocker of moronic movies, the "Terror of Tiny Town," the last known survivor of "Battlefield Earth," the one of many, Allen Smithee!
Written, Directed, & Starring Allen Smithee
Assistant Director, Producer & Stunt Coordinator Allen Smithee
BoomMic Operator, Sound Editing, & Music Allen Smithee
Construction Coordinator The Amazing Rando
MakeUp Crayola
Catering Soylent Corp
Allen Smithee will be back in Return of the Curse of the Planet of Prehistoric Bikini Ninjas Vs Kingdom of the Bride of the Killer Shark Cheerleaders 2: Electric Boogaloo
(((0))),/\,/\,/\ ,/\,/\,/\,(((0)))
SilverScreenCesspool.com
Facebook.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Instagram.com/SilverScreenCesspool
Silver Screen Cesspool - Future Kick
Transcript
FutureKick from 1991 is a movie full of surprises. Actually, because of the title, every single frame of this movie left me surprised Jean Claude VanDamme wasn’t in it. I guess that’s not really full of surprises as much as it is one long-sustained surprise. However playing the part of Van Damme in this movie is Don “The Dragon” Wilson, World Kickboxing Association world light heavyweight champion. The filmmakers thought it was important that we know that before we even knew the movie�
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