
The Emotional Game of Playing the Victim (Bonus Episode 5)
03/22/23 • 24 min
Our family members are famous for their pristine ability to play the victim.
Playing the victim can manifest in a variety of contexts.
In this episode, we are going to unpack:
✅ Our psychologically abusive family members get thrills off any opportunity they can create that affords them the opportunity to take the stage to put on their Oscar-worthy winning performance of the victim.
✅ They use this victim role to gain pity or sympathy, and to evoke compassion as a path to getting their way.
✅ They play this role publicly and privately to evade accountability by smoke-screening their abuse of you.
✅ The basic story your toxic family members tell of themselves is that they are the“good,” “caring,” “moral, “selfless,” person in the relationship, and you are the “bad,” “abusive,” “cruel,” “immoral,” “selfish,” “toxic,” one.
✅ Conversations with your family members that play the victim can never be about your feelings. It must be all about them.
✅ Family members who play the victim grossly embellish the untruths they tell about your “monstrous” behavior to create a more powerful narrative about how profoundly you have victimized them.
✅ Goals and payoffs of playing the victim
✅ Impacts of this emotional game on the targets
✅ How to’s and boundaries to set
Get my newly released book! — Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut. Get it here: https://amzn.to/3L3sMuA
Connect with Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- Website: https://drsherriecampbell.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SherrieCampbellPhD
Books by Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- But It’s Your Family...: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath - https://amzn.to/3tuNQEn
- Your Pocket Therapist: Quick Hacks for Dealing with Toxic People While Empowering Yourself - https://amzn.to/3JBql1R
- Success Equations: A Path to Living an Emotionally Wealthy Life - https://amzn.to/3uobd1u
- Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person - https://amzn.to/36mlXp5
Check out the Sherapy Master Class: The Toxic Family Sherapy Course designed to help people master toxic family members and turn their life around to one of freedom, peace, and empowerment. Click here https://bit.ly/SherapyMasterclass
Get early access to news, insights, and tips straight from your inbox. Subscribe to Dr. Sherrie’s email list, go to https://drsherriecampbell.com/
Our family members are famous for their pristine ability to play the victim.
Playing the victim can manifest in a variety of contexts.
In this episode, we are going to unpack:
✅ Our psychologically abusive family members get thrills off any opportunity they can create that affords them the opportunity to take the stage to put on their Oscar-worthy winning performance of the victim.
✅ They use this victim role to gain pity or sympathy, and to evoke compassion as a path to getting their way.
✅ They play this role publicly and privately to evade accountability by smoke-screening their abuse of you.
✅ The basic story your toxic family members tell of themselves is that they are the“good,” “caring,” “moral, “selfless,” person in the relationship, and you are the “bad,” “abusive,” “cruel,” “immoral,” “selfish,” “toxic,” one.
✅ Conversations with your family members that play the victim can never be about your feelings. It must be all about them.
✅ Family members who play the victim grossly embellish the untruths they tell about your “monstrous” behavior to create a more powerful narrative about how profoundly you have victimized them.
✅ Goals and payoffs of playing the victim
✅ Impacts of this emotional game on the targets
✅ How to’s and boundaries to set
Get my newly released book! — Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut. Get it here: https://amzn.to/3L3sMuA
Connect with Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- Website: https://drsherriecampbell.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SherrieCampbellPhD
Books by Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- But It’s Your Family...: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath - https://amzn.to/3tuNQEn
- Your Pocket Therapist: Quick Hacks for Dealing with Toxic People While Empowering Yourself - https://amzn.to/3JBql1R
- Success Equations: A Path to Living an Emotionally Wealthy Life - https://amzn.to/3uobd1u
- Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person - https://amzn.to/36mlXp5
Check out the Sherapy Master Class: The Toxic Family Sherapy Course designed to help people master toxic family members and turn their life around to one of freedom, peace, and empowerment. Click here https://bit.ly/SherapyMasterclass
Get early access to news, insights, and tips straight from your inbox. Subscribe to Dr. Sherrie’s email list, go to https://drsherriecampbell.com/
Previous Episode

The Emotional Game of Gossip (Bonus Episode 4)
In this bonus episode, we will explore one of the most deadly emotional games that our toxic family members play — the emotional game of gossip.
Key Takeaways:
✅ Not all gossip is created equally.
✅ Our emotionally abusive family members use gossip to avoid looking at their part in any negative interaction.
✅ Signs you’re being gossiped about.
✅ In psychologically abusive families, gossip is used primarily to expend negative energy where talking poorly about you or others brings your family members feelings of power and satisfaction.
✅ Psychologically Abusive family members who gossip about you feel totally empowered when trashing you.
✅ Psychologically Abusive family members love creating negative triangles between you and others.
Get my newly released book! — Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut. Get it here: https://amzn.to/3L3sMuA
Connect with Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- Website: https://drsherriecampbell.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SherrieCampbellPhD
Books by Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- But It’s Your Family...: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath - https://amzn.to/3tuNQEn
- Your Pocket Therapist: Quick Hacks for Dealing with Toxic People While Empowering Yourself - https://amzn.to/3JBql1R
- Success Equations: A Path to Living an Emotionally Wealthy Life - https://amzn.to/3uobd1u
- Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person - https://amzn.to/36mlXp5
Check out the Sherapy Master Class: The Toxic Family Sherapy Course designed to help people master toxic family members and turn their life around to one of freedom, peace, and empowerment. Click here https://bit.ly/SherapyMasterclass
Get early access to news, insights, and tips straight from your inbox. Subscribe to Dr. Sherrie’s email list, go to https://drsherriecampbell.com/
Next Episode

The Difference Between the Silent Treatment and No Contact (Bonus Episode 6)
Understanding the differences between the silent treatment and no contact can help you navigate your relationships with toxic family members.
Let's explore these topics:
✅ It is natural to have many moments of questioning ourselves around no contact because we never want to be like our toxic family members.
✅ The difference between the silent treatment and no contact comes down to intent.
✅ Signposts to when silence is being deployed for abuse.
✅ When we go silent we do so to stay silent. We have no want, need, or desire to hurt our toxic family members by toying with them in any way.
✅ How do we know we’re not the bad guy (toxic person) our family accuses us of being?
✅ What is going on when our family members call us the toxic ones for going no contact?
✅ How To’s and Boundaries to Set
—
Get my latest book! — Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members: Tools to Maintain Boundaries, Deal with Criticism, and Heal from Shame After Ties Have Been Cut. Get it here: https://amzn.to/3L3sMuA
—
Connect with Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- Website: https://drsherriecampbell.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SherrieCampbellPhD
Books by Dr. Sherrie Campbell:
- But It’s Your Family...: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath - https://amzn.to/3tuNQEn
- Your Pocket Therapist: Quick Hacks for Dealing with Toxic People While Empowering Yourself - https://amzn.to/3JBql1R
- Success Equations: A Path to Living an Emotionally Wealthy Life - https://amzn.to/3uobd1u
- Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person - https://amzn.to/36mlXp5
Check out the Sherapy Master Class: The Toxic Family Sherapy Course designed to help people master toxic family members and turn their life around to one of freedom, peace, and empowerment. Click here https://bit.ly/SherapyMasterclass
Get early access to news, insights, and tips straight from your inbox. Subscribe to Dr. Sherrie’s email list, go to https://drsherriecampbell.com/
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