She Wants More

In the past couple of years the media has positioned women’s exploration of sex, passion, and desire, as a form of "self-care" -- a wellness practice that helps them feel better about themselves. Today's guest "Michelle" breaks down how her affairs, particularly one with a sexy personal trainer, have become a form of self-care for her. She says they make her feel better and take better care of herself.

So, can an affair be another form of self-care, like yoga, meditation, or dry brushing? Is an orgasm with someone who isn't your spouse an actual wellness practice, or do women just need to justify their desires as self-care in order to fully realize those desires without shame? Alexandra Fine, sexologist and creator of Dame, a pleasure products company, weighs in.

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Loneliness is an epidemic in America, even for people who are married. It is a major driver of depression and it can drive people to desperate measures to feel less lonely, including having an affair.

This week's guest "Sabrina" didn't initiate her affair because she wasn't feeling fulfilled sexually -- she was feeling neglected by her husband and lonely and friendless. The man she is having an affair with has since become her best friend and she can't imagine her life without him. Now she worries about what will happen to her if he ever chooses to end their affair, or if her husband, who supports her financially, finds out about her infidelity. Jo is also joined by psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz and therapist Dr. Lori Gottlieb who both share their thoughts on loneliness and infidelity.

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Can one partner give you everything? In this episode, we talk to "Monique,” a woman in her fifties who was happy with her husband, but not getting her sexual needs fulfilled by him. "Monique" decided to explore her sexuality and desires outside of her marriage and her affairs have made her a better mother, a better wife, and helped her regain the identity she felt she lost after kids. She says that she thinks her husband might suspect she is having these affairs, but that he doesn't mind because of how they make her a better and more grounded person. Dr. Gail Saltz also joins to discuss the impact motherhood has on women’s sexual desire and we speak with sex expert Dr. Ashley Thompson who breaks down the myth that your spouse should be able to fulfill every one of your needs – a falsehood that can place a lot of pressure on a partner.

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Affairs have always been more dangerous for women than men. Throughout history women have faced persecution, shame and sometimes even death for cheating on their husbands. But are women still judged more harshly than men for cheating? In this episode, Jo is joined by cultural critic and anthropologist, Wednesday Martin, to explore the origins of shame surrounding female sexuality. We then meet "Catie," who had to move to a new city and get a new job to escape the fallout from her affair with her husband's best friend.

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More and more women are seeing multiple partners outside of their marriage without lying to their spouses. While an open marriage may not be an affair in the traditional sense, it is another way for women to explore what they want and need from a partner without the lying and subterfuge.

This week's guest "Alice" craved new bodies, new excitement, new experiences, and like many of the women we've talked to in previous episodes, she decided to step out on her husband to find what she wanted. But after Alice had her first sexual encounter outside of her marriage, she chose to tell her husband the truth – and ask him if she could do it again. Now, Alice and her husband are in an open marriage. So, can open marriages be the answer for some women who are considering having an affair? Jo is also joined by Dr. Ashley Thompson and Dr. Lori Gottlieb to weigh in on the positive impact that communication can have on a relationship.

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