Episode 4: Uncomfortable Conversations

Looking for more support in having uncomfortable conversations? Join us for our upcoming program on Leading DEI Conversations!

Welcome to She+ Geeks Out, the podcast bringing you the voices of women+ from all walks of life to share with you what they geek out about-- their passions, talents, struggles, and successes. In each episode, hosts Rachel Murray and Felicia Jadczak will feature different guests and discussions about topics including health, psychology, art, music, learning, and more. Episodes are fun, engaging, and provide some nuggets of information that you can take away. Oh, and yeah, they might be awkward sometimes. That's just how we roll.

This season of She+ Geeks Out is unlike any other so far. Together, we will be unpacking what the future of work looks like for different groups of people in terms of diversity, equity and inclusion. In addition to our special guests, listeners will also get to hear snippets from our facilitation team on what DEI really looks like in the workplace from a practical, actionable standpoint.

Last week we talked about what it looks like to build a DEI program in an organization, and this week we’ll look at what it looks like when these initiatives are up and running. The truth is, in many cases, it’s going to mean more open dialogue and the potential for having uncomfortable conversations. To begin, DEI and Leadership Consultant and Coach Dr. Erika Powell talks about performative DEI. When someone is accused of this, it usually means that they are not engaging with psychological safety. Often, it is the silence of those of uncommon identities that we should be paying attention to. Somatics starts to help people to have difficult conversations. Dr. Victoria Verlezza, DEI Facilitator at SGO, joins to tell us more. Difficult conversations, she believes, stem from 2 places: wanting to have them but not knowing how, or being fearful of having them. However, it is important to think about identity and realizing that is more than being offensive, but being harmful. Research suggests that people don’t feel confident having harder conversations at work in an open setting.

Next, we talk to Becca Shanksy, Associate Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University, about the conversations she is having to move beyond biases in academia. Translation neuroscience, she explains, is really about understanding what the brain is capable of translated to people of any gender or sex. Anna Whitlock, Director of People Strategy & Culture at LabCentral, joins to discuss the lack of awareness across the board that, for most, DEI practices are a learning experience. We are all just trying to do the right thing while accommodating everybody’s life experiences, but we aren’t always going to get it perfectly right. This work is a daily struggle and she hopes other people find comfort in her vulnerability.

We hear again from Dr. Victoria Verlezza on the key of talking across differences. We all have either dominant or oppressed identity that inevitably plays out in the workplace. When thinking of how to be inclusive leaders, it comes down to how we show up in these types of conversations. So much of professional life has been traditionally set up for people to put aside what makes them unique, but we need to feel comfortable embracing our identities and acknowledging the injustices which exist in our world. Then, she shares her usual reaction items when witnessing someone in the workplace express bias, unconscious or not. Next, SGO facilitator Fatima Dainkeh shares what it means to be an ally. Language supports us in our actions and behaviors and helps us in our mindset. However, it is possible to co-opt certain terminology based on how we perceive them. For her, the term ally means practicing something in your day to day life to support someone else who may not have the same social power you do. She explains the difference in calling in vs. calling out when giving feedback to colleagues who might say something inappropriate. When it comes to topics related to DEI, it is very important to know how to give effective feedback. She also notes that we should consider our relationship to a person before giving feedback to them. Part of doing this work is giving grace to everybody.

We also talked to Melanie Ho, author of Beyond Leaning In and Naomi Seddon, author of Milk and Margaritas, about the conversations they’re taking part in. Weaponizing competence is a popular topic that has just recently gotten traction in the last year. For Melanie, she is noticing much more of a shift towards having these difficult discussions with others rather than brushing things under the rug. Naomi adds that this is not just an issue relevant to the workplace, but something we need to be practicing within our homes as well. Conversa...