
Episode 4: Uncomfortable Conversations
Explicit content warning
09/27/22 • 63 min
Looking for more support in having uncomfortable conversations? Join us for our upcoming program on Leading DEI Conversations!
Welcome to She+ Geeks Out, the podcast bringing you the voices of women+ from all walks of life to share with you what they geek out about-- their passions, talents, struggles, and successes. In each episode, hosts Rachel Murray and Felicia Jadczak will feature different guests and discussions about topics including health, psychology, art, music, learning, and more. Episodes are fun, engaging, and provide some nuggets of information that you can take away. Oh, and yeah, they might be awkward sometimes. That's just how we roll.
This season of She+ Geeks Out is unlike any other so far. Together, we will be unpacking what the future of work looks like for different groups of people in terms of diversity, equity and inclusion. In addition to our special guests, listeners will also get to hear snippets from our facilitation team on what DEI really looks like in the workplace from a practical, actionable standpoint.
Last week we talked about what it looks like to build a DEI program in an organization, and this week we’ll look at what it looks like when these initiatives are up and running. The truth is, in many cases, it’s going to mean more open dialogue and the potential for having uncomfortable conversations. To begin, DEI and Leadership Consultant and Coach Dr. Erika Powell talks about performative DEI. When someone is accused of this, it usually means that they are not engaging with psychological safety. Often, it is the silence of those of uncommon identities that we should be paying attention to. Somatics starts to help people to have difficult conversations. Dr. Victoria Verlezza, DEI Facilitator at SGO, joins to tell us more. Difficult conversations, she believes, stem from 2 places: wanting to have them but not knowing how, or being fearful of having them. However, it is important to think about identity and realizing that is more than being offensive, but being harmful. Research suggests that people don’t feel confident having harder conversations at work in an open setting.
Next, we talk to Becca Shanksy, Associate Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University, about the conversations she is having to move beyond biases in academia. Translation neuroscience, she explains, is really about understanding what the brain is capable of translated to people of any gender or sex. Anna Whitlock, Director of People Strategy & Culture at LabCentral, joins to discuss the lack of awareness across the board that, for most, DEI practices are a learning experience. We are all just trying to do the right thing while accommodating everybody’s life experiences, but we aren’t always going to get it perfectly right. This work is a daily struggle and she hopes other people find comfort in her vulnerability.
We hear again from Dr. Victoria Verlezza on the key of talking across differences. We all have either dominant or oppressed identity that inevitably plays out in the workplace. When thinking of how to be inclusive leaders, it comes down to how we show up in these types of conversations. So much of professional life has been traditionally set up for people to put aside what makes them unique, but we need to feel comfortable embracing our identities and acknowledging the injustices which exist in our world. Then, she shares her usual reaction items when witnessing someone in the workplace express bias, unconscious or not. Next, SGO facilitator Fatima Dainkeh shares what it means to be an ally. Language supports us in our actions and behaviors and helps us in our mindset. However, it is possible to co-opt certain terminology based on how we perceive them. For her, the term ally means practicing something in your day to day life to support someone else who may not have the same social power you do. She explains the difference in calling in vs. calling out when giving feedback to colleagues who might say something inappropriate. When it comes to topics related to DEI, it is very important to know how to give effective feedback. She also notes that we should consider our relationship to a person before giving feedback to them. Part of doing this work is giving grace to everybody.
We also talked to Melanie Ho, author of Beyond Leaning In and Naomi Seddon, author of Milk and Margaritas, about the conversations they’re taking part in. Weaponizing competence is a popular topic that has just recently gotten traction in the last year. For Melanie, she is noticing much more of a shift towards having these difficult discussions with others rather than brushing things under the rug. Naomi adds that this is not just an issue relevant to the workplace, but something we need to be practicing within our homes as well. Conversa...
Looking for more support in having uncomfortable conversations? Join us for our upcoming program on Leading DEI Conversations!
Welcome to She+ Geeks Out, the podcast bringing you the voices of women+ from all walks of life to share with you what they geek out about-- their passions, talents, struggles, and successes. In each episode, hosts Rachel Murray and Felicia Jadczak will feature different guests and discussions about topics including health, psychology, art, music, learning, and more. Episodes are fun, engaging, and provide some nuggets of information that you can take away. Oh, and yeah, they might be awkward sometimes. That's just how we roll.
This season of She+ Geeks Out is unlike any other so far. Together, we will be unpacking what the future of work looks like for different groups of people in terms of diversity, equity and inclusion. In addition to our special guests, listeners will also get to hear snippets from our facilitation team on what DEI really looks like in the workplace from a practical, actionable standpoint.
Last week we talked about what it looks like to build a DEI program in an organization, and this week we’ll look at what it looks like when these initiatives are up and running. The truth is, in many cases, it’s going to mean more open dialogue and the potential for having uncomfortable conversations. To begin, DEI and Leadership Consultant and Coach Dr. Erika Powell talks about performative DEI. When someone is accused of this, it usually means that they are not engaging with psychological safety. Often, it is the silence of those of uncommon identities that we should be paying attention to. Somatics starts to help people to have difficult conversations. Dr. Victoria Verlezza, DEI Facilitator at SGO, joins to tell us more. Difficult conversations, she believes, stem from 2 places: wanting to have them but not knowing how, or being fearful of having them. However, it is important to think about identity and realizing that is more than being offensive, but being harmful. Research suggests that people don’t feel confident having harder conversations at work in an open setting.
Next, we talk to Becca Shanksy, Associate Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University, about the conversations she is having to move beyond biases in academia. Translation neuroscience, she explains, is really about understanding what the brain is capable of translated to people of any gender or sex. Anna Whitlock, Director of People Strategy & Culture at LabCentral, joins to discuss the lack of awareness across the board that, for most, DEI practices are a learning experience. We are all just trying to do the right thing while accommodating everybody’s life experiences, but we aren’t always going to get it perfectly right. This work is a daily struggle and she hopes other people find comfort in her vulnerability.
We hear again from Dr. Victoria Verlezza on the key of talking across differences. We all have either dominant or oppressed identity that inevitably plays out in the workplace. When thinking of how to be inclusive leaders, it comes down to how we show up in these types of conversations. So much of professional life has been traditionally set up for people to put aside what makes them unique, but we need to feel comfortable embracing our identities and acknowledging the injustices which exist in our world. Then, she shares her usual reaction items when witnessing someone in the workplace express bias, unconscious or not. Next, SGO facilitator Fatima Dainkeh shares what it means to be an ally. Language supports us in our actions and behaviors and helps us in our mindset. However, it is possible to co-opt certain terminology based on how we perceive them. For her, the term ally means practicing something in your day to day life to support someone else who may not have the same social power you do. She explains the difference in calling in vs. calling out when giving feedback to colleagues who might say something inappropriate. When it comes to topics related to DEI, it is very important to know how to give effective feedback. She also notes that we should consider our relationship to a person before giving feedback to them. Part of doing this work is giving grace to everybody.
We also talked to Melanie Ho, author of Beyond Leaning In and Naomi Seddon, author of Milk and Margaritas, about the conversations they’re taking part in. Weaponizing competence is a popular topic that has just recently gotten traction in the last year. For Melanie, she is noticing much more of a shift towards having these difficult discussions with others rather than brushing things under the rug. Naomi adds that this is not just an issue relevant to the workplace, but something we need to be practicing within our homes as well. Conversa...
Previous Episode

Episode 3: Building a DEI Program
Welcome to She+ Geeks Out, the podcast bringing you the voices of women+ from all walks of life to share with you what they geek out about-- their passions, talents, struggles, and successes. In each episode, hosts Rachel Murray and Felicia Jadczak will feature different guests and discussions about topics including health, psychology, art, music, learning, and more. Episodes are fun, engaging, and provide some nuggets of information that you can take away. Oh, and yeah, they might be awkward sometimes. That's just how we roll.
This season of She+ Geeks Out is unlike any other so far. Together, we will be unpacking what the future of work looks like for different groups of people in terms of diversity, equity and inclusion. In addition to our special guests, listeners will also get to hear snippets from our facilitation team on what DEI really looks like in the workplace from a practical, actionable standpoint.
When organizations are building out their initiatives around DE&I, the biggest mistake is when companies view it as a check the box approach. DEI work is deep, lifelong work which is most impactful when it is built into every aspect of an organization as early as possible. This week, we’ll take notes from leaders who have successfully brought intentional and fully integrated DEI programs into their organizations. We begin by talking to CA Webb, Former President of Kendall Square Association, about how she worked with She+ Geeks Out to build the organizations’ new DEI program which ended up becoming Diversity Drives Inclusion. They began with a learning journey, out of which came the realization that there was a huge need for a different approach to DEI education in companies. She also shares her observation that while many people now claim to be anti-racist, they don’t actually know how to put it in practice.
Next, we hear from Fatima Dainkeh, SGO staff DEI programs and training manager, about doing the work. When facilitating workshops, Fatima always repeatedly reminds participants that the work is not the workshop. While having a workshop can be great for organizations to plant the seed of DEI, it is important that the workshop is part of a bigger plan to pursue DEI goals. Afterwards, Jason Fook, Senior Director of Learning and Development at Essex Property & Trust, talks about taking a DEI leadership committee to the next level. He shares that Essex had actually been thinking about launching their own DEI committee before the pandemic. Now, they are at the point of questioning how they can make the initiative even bigger and take it to the next level. Though Jason was nervous that nobody would come, their classes have actually begun to sell out.
To further discuss the role of formal training and workshops is Dr. Erika Powell, a DEI and Leadership Consultant and Coach. When facilitating a class or an experience, she says that each one is a flight because participants go higher and wider in their consciousness. She also shares about her shifting views of unconscious bias in the workplace. We also hear from Amaia Arruabarrena, Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at ezCater, about the need for organizations to define what DEI means to them. It is important to hold each of the 3 pillars of DEI to the same importance to be successful at making people feel welcome and included. After defining what DEI meant to them, the team then worked out a dedicated budget for the efforts. Every organization will face their own unique challenges based on size, age, location, budget, and resources. Elisa Campos-Prato, Sr. Recruiter at Scott’s Cheap Flights, elaborates on approaching efforts creatively. She also touches on the fact that money is not a necessity, but rather a pathway for DEI. Anna Whitlock, Director of People, Strategy, and Culture at LabCentral, shares about the company’s various DEI initiatives. Biotech is not traditionally a space where most people of color feel welcomed to, but LabCentral is doing everything they can to change that.
Elba Lizardi, site director at BASF, shares how she initially got involved in the DEI space via a DEI task force. Prior to being nominated, Elba isn’t sure she was really being loud enough about DEI issues. Before reaching out to customers and suppliers, the organization funded an employee research group. Then, Naomi Seddon talks about a few of the initiatives at Megaport where she sits on the board. Their focus was to hear about diverse employee experiences and figure out a way to be accommodating for everybody. Finally, CA Webb returns to unpack the idea that you can’t drive change alone.
Thanks so much for listening. Please don’t forget to rate, share, subscribe and tune in next week when we talk about building inclusive cultures.
Timestamps:
1:35 - Introducing today’s episode.
2:45 - CA Webb shares about partnering with She+ Geeks Out in her company’s new DEI program.
Next Episode

Episode 5: Building Teams
Contributors to this episode are:
- Amaia Arrubarrena, Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at ezCater
- CA Webb, Former President of Kendall Square Association
- Elba Lizardi, Site Director at BASF
- Elisa Campos-Praetor, Sr. Recruiter at Scott’s Cheap Flights
- Ginny Cheng, Global Head of Talent at ÖURA
- Jason Fooks, Senior Director of Learning and Development at Essex Property & Trust
- Karina Becerra, Director, Customer Advocacy at Podium
- Kia Rivera, DEI Facilitator at She+ Geeks Out
- Reem Papageorgiou, CoFounder of MomUp
Visit us at InclusionGeeks.com to stay up to date on all the ways you can make the workplace work for everyone! Check out Inclusion Geeks Academy and InclusionGeeks.com/podcast for the code to get a free mini course.
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