One Soft Moment Can Change Everything
04/08/25 • 15 min
1 Listener
Let’s talk about emotional exhaustion as a Black woman—and what it really means to be held.
What if being held didn’t require you to fall apart first?
What if it was something you could reach for before you hit the breaking point?
This episode was recorded at five o’clock in the morning... no mic, no script, no prep—just me, a heavy heart, and a whole lot of truth. Because sometimes the softest, most honest thing you can do is show up exactly as you are, while you’re still sitting in the weight of it.
We’re talking about the quiet kind of emotional exhaustion—the kind that creeps in when you’ve been moving for so long, you forget what it feels like to ask yourself what you need.
The kind that convinces you being held is too much to ask for.
And if your primary Support Language is Emotional Safety...
this one might hit extra deep.
Because it’s hard to let yourself be held when you’ve spent your whole life being the safe space for everybody else.
This one’s not about fixing it.
It’s not about pushing through.
It’s about pausing long enough to say,
“I don’t have to perform today.”
So if you’ve been carrying more than your share, if the emotional exhaustion is starting to feel like your normal—this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself.
One soft moment at a time.
Resources to Support You:
- Take the Support LanguageTM Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
- Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
- Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
- Be a Guest on the Show
- www.shadesofstrong.com
Let’s talk about emotional exhaustion as a Black woman—and what it really means to be held.
What if being held didn’t require you to fall apart first?
What if it was something you could reach for before you hit the breaking point?
This episode was recorded at five o’clock in the morning... no mic, no script, no prep—just me, a heavy heart, and a whole lot of truth. Because sometimes the softest, most honest thing you can do is show up exactly as you are, while you’re still sitting in the weight of it.
We’re talking about the quiet kind of emotional exhaustion—the kind that creeps in when you’ve been moving for so long, you forget what it feels like to ask yourself what you need.
The kind that convinces you being held is too much to ask for.
And if your primary Support Language is Emotional Safety...
this one might hit extra deep.
Because it’s hard to let yourself be held when you’ve spent your whole life being the safe space for everybody else.
This one’s not about fixing it.
It’s not about pushing through.
It’s about pausing long enough to say,
“I don’t have to perform today.”
So if you’ve been carrying more than your share, if the emotional exhaustion is starting to feel like your normal—this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself.
One soft moment at a time.
Resources to Support You:
- Take the Support LanguageTM Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
- Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
- Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
- Be a Guest on the Show
- www.shadesofstrong.com
Previous Episode
Embracing Joy and Struggle (in that order)
What if strength didn’t always have to come after the storm?
In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often as Black women, are taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right.
But what if we flipped the script?
In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle as a Black woman—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often, we’ve been taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right.
But what if we flipped the script?
Inspired by a powerful moment with my granddaughter, I explore how we’ve been conditioned to lead with the hard stuff first—and how that habit is rooted in generations of inherited struggle. But here’s the truth: your life is big enough to hold both.
This episode is your reminder that:
- Joy isn’t selfish.
- Ease doesn’t mean you’re lazy.
- You don’t have to brace for the worst before naming what’s good.
Whether you’re navigating grief, growth, or just trying to get through the week without falling apart, this one’s for you.
If you’ve been struggling with embracing joy and struggle as a Black woman—or if you’ve been waiting for the next shoe to drop every time something good happens—this conversation will feel like a breath of fresh air.
Pull up a chair and let’s talk about reclaiming softness, wholeness, and the audacity to lead with joy.
Resources to Support You:
- Take the Support LanguageTM Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
- Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
- Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
- Be a Guest on the Show
- www.shadesofstrong.com
Next Episode
You Don’t Have to Explain Your Tired
Some days the weight is real, and you’re too tired to carry it, explain it, or make it sound better than it is. For the days when the tears come outta nowhere and your body says, “we can’t keep doing this”...
This is a quiet reminder that you don’t owe anyone a breakdown of why you need rest. You don’t have to clean up your exhaustion or justify your pause. You get to be tired. You get to slow down. You get to be held without performing for it.
If you’ve been feeling stretched, overextended, or quietly unraveling... this one’s for you.
Take what you need, and leave the rest.
Resources to Support You:
- Take the Support LanguageTM Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
- Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
- Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
- Be a Guest on the Show
- www.shadesofstrong.com
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