Shades of Strong® | Strength Without Struggle for Black Women

Do Black women GET to be soft and strong? Do they have the capacity to be soft, feminine, strong and receptive? There are so many layers to these questions, and Ivory Bennett stopped by to start peeling them all back. Join us in today's episode as she takes us on a journey of what it took for her to finally tap into being soft, feminine, and receptive. Ivory admits that arriving in this space hasn't been easy, and it is indeed challenging to remain there, but she's determined not to go back to that space where being hard was all she had. She gets really candid and transparent about how racism and spending seventeen years in foster care made it extremely difficult to be soft as a matter of fact, she tells a story how being soft was not an option until she got deliberate and intentional about making it one. Tweetable Moments: “Being strong doesn’t have to look, sound or feel a certain way, and being soft doesn’t have to go against our survival." "As Black women we can unconsciously, or sometimes deliberately make it difficult for other Black women to rest." “We need to get out of the mindset of hardening people up, or getting them prepared for the world in a way that is damaging...” ABOUT IVORY BENNETT Ivory Bennett (She/Her/Hers) is a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania native who is currently a Manager of Teacher Leadership and Development in Dallas, Texas. Additionally, Ivory is an active advocate for both education and foster care equity - she has 17 years of lived experience in foster care. Outside of Education, Ivory is an avid writer with a particular passion for poetry and playwriting. Ivory loves international travel, holistic health practices, vegan soul food, and tending to her plant babies. Check out Ivory's article mentioned in today's episode HERE. Connect with Ivory Bennett on Instragram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn. Your Turn, Sis! We're using our My Strong IsTM campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease. My Strong Is is a campaign where we're highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding. We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, "My strong is" and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be our guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!! Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com. Catch up on Previous Episodes: S5 | Ep 004 The Journey Towards, Vulnerability, Grace, and Ease S5 | Ep 003 Mental Health, Resilience, and Postpartum Depression S5 | Ep 002 Steady, Present, and Free Even When Life Be Lifing S5 | Ep 001 Finding Comfort in Stitting with Uncomfortable Emotions Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome

Creating space for vulnerability is a magical thing, but that magic can only happen when Black women are brave enough, courageous enough to become one with their bodies. In today's episode we talk about why we're seeing so much discourse around the phrase strong Black woman and how that phrase contributes to how challenging it can be for Black women to not only sit with their feelings, but also embrace vulnerability as a gateway to wholeness. Tap in to hear how we're learning to sit with our feelings as Black women who grew up during a time when feeling feelings or outwardly expressing an emotion was unacceptable, how we're now doing things completely different as we age out of the traditional way of being strong, and how we're encouraging others to break away from the old school way of [not] feeling the feels. A few things that came up in our conversation: - How vulnerability is often stigmatized in the Black female community - Crying the tears and feeling the feelings of our ancestors - The difference betweem sitting with a feeling and waddling in a feeling - Learning how to sit with your feelings and becoming your own safe place RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING STRONG DIFFERENTLY Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com. Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself. Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we've got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it. Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.

My strong is starting each day with a morning routine that centers my well-being and sets a positive tone for the day. Welcome to Day 11 of our "me-first" journey! Today, we're diving into the importance of creating a morning routine that centers your well-being. It's all about starting your day with intention, dedicating time to yourself, and setting a positive tone for the rest of the week. By establishing a me-first morning routine, you honor your needs and create a foundation of self-care that supports your overall well-being. Creating a morning routine is about giving yourself permission to start your day with intention and care. This involves embracing activities that nurture your mind, body, and spirit, setting a positive tone for the rest of your week. By doing this, you build self-trust, emotional strength, and a deeper sense of self-worth. This me-first routine enriches your journey and provides a solid foundation for personal growth and resilience. If you're ready to start creating a fulfilling Saturday morning routine, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how embracing a me-first morning ritual can help you build self-trust, foster personal growth, and set a positive tone for your week. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we'll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes. Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience: - Register for the "Uncpaed" Workshop - Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram - Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources - Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.

Let’s talk about emotional exhaustion as a Black woman—and what it really means to be held.

What if being held didn’t require you to fall apart first?

What if it was something you could reach for before you hit the breaking point?

This episode was recorded at five o’clock in the morning... no mic, no script, no prep—just me, a heavy heart, and a whole lot of truth. Because sometimes the softest, most honest thing you can do is show up exactly as you are, while you’re still sitting in the weight of it.

We’re talking about the quiet kind of emotional exhaustion—the kind that creeps in when you’ve been moving for so long, you forget what it feels like to ask yourself what you need.

The kind that convinces you being held is too much to ask for.

And if your primary Support Language is Emotional Safety...
this one might hit extra deep.
Because it’s hard to let yourself be held when you’ve spent your whole life being the safe space for everybody else.

This one’s not about fixing it.
It’s not about pushing through.
It’s about pausing long enough to say,
“I don’t have to perform today.”

So if you’ve been carrying more than your share, if the emotional exhaustion is starting to feel like your normal—this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself.

One soft moment at a time.

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Resources to Support You:

• Take the Support LanguageTM Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
• Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
• Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
• Be a Guest on the Show
• www.shadesofstrong.com

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