Episode S9E05: Ask a Sex Therapist: How Do I Have My First Orgasm? With Erica Smith

Explicit content warning

04/21/25 • 52 min

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering the ten most common questions that we receive as sex therapists. In this episode, they explore the question, "How do I have my first orgasm?" If you haven't had an orgasm before and you want to have orgasms, messages about "just taking it off the pedestal" and focusing on other areas of pleasure can be really minimizing and dismissive, even if, in the long run, they are helpful. J+J are joined by the amazing Erica Smith, sex educator and founder of Purity Culture Dropout. Join Julia, Jeremiah, and Erica for an hour long conversation about:

Understanding the anatomy and physiology of genitals
The power of the clitoris
The importance of going slowly
Masturbation
Actively exploring your sexual fantasies

Learn more about Erica's work at ericasmitheac.com. Registration for her summer 2025 Purity Culture Dropout cohort begins soon. And learn more about Julia and Jeremiah's relationship coaching business. If you and your relationships have been negatively impacted by Purity Culture, schedule a free 30 minute consultation with them to learn more about how relationship coaching can bring healing and health to your relationship.

Understanding the anatomy and physiology of genitals
The power of the clitoris
The importance of going slowly
Masturbation
Actively exploring your sexual fantasies

Previous Episode

S9E04: Ask a Sex Therapist: What Happens if Sex Hurts? With Dr. Camden Morgante

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist. One of the most common questions is "What happens if sex hurts?" In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah are joined by Dr. Camden Morgante (@drcamden on Instagram), author of the new book Recovering from Purity Culture. They reflect on how to address and reduce the physical and emotional pain that a repressive situation or larger culture, such as Purity Culture, might bring to a sexual experience. Join them for a practical, empathetic conversation about:

Purity Culture and cumulative trauma.
The normalization of pain in religious and non-religious settings.
How physical therapy can help mitigate the pain of vulvodynia and vaginismus.
Divorcing the notion of work from pain
Sitting with grief.

Tune in to our Substack, Relationship 101 (sexvangelicals.substack.com) over the next few weeks for more info about working with sexual pain.

Next Episode

S9E06: Ask a Sex Therapist: What Do I Need to Consider When I Have Sex for the First Time? With Erica Smith.

This spring, we are answering ten of the most common questions that we hear as sex therapists. This week, we're exploring the question, "What do I need to consider when I have sex for the first time?" We created six different scenarios that a person might have for the first time:

A general first time sexual experience, and considering what you disclose (and don't disclose) ahead of time.
Oral sex and stimulating another person's clitoris or penis
A same-sex sexual experience.
Anal sex.
A sexual experience that involves vaginal penetration
Group sex.

And we've invited the amazing Erica Smith to help us process these six scenarios. Erica is the founder of Purity Culture Droput. Learn more about Erica at ericasmitheac.com