Talking to My Ex Girlfriend
Explicit content warning
06/06/22 • 58 min
In this week’s episode we’re talking with Honey’s ex girlfriend, Neha, all about their relationship and break up.
We begin the episode by hearing about both sides of the relationship, from how they met to how the relationship progressively got worse and eventually how they broke up. If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you’ll know that Honey has spoken about how her first relationship was quite toxic, and so we break down exactly what that looked like in a young queer relationship, and how that has affected them going forward.
We reminisce on the importance of having a queer community when you’re younger, and how there’s not much of a model for relationships so they can often get messy. We hear how their mental health impacted the relationship, and how this meant they triggered each other whilst dating, and warn against the dangers of codependency in a relationship. Maria also gives her perspective on the relationship from the outside, though she was very much involved at the time, and how it seemed to disintegrate.
We also cover how the break up eventually happened- they did break up and get back together several times- and the difficulties that came along with seeing your ex every day when you go to the same school. Lastly, we cover how they went from exes to friends, and the progression of making up after a break up and realising what you’ve done wrong and what you’ve learnt from a relationship.
Listen in to hear us cover all sorts of things, from staying friends with an ex, to coming out as queer, to toxic relationships and different sides of the same break up.
We hope you enjoy the episode, we really enjoyed recording with Neha and we hope you’re inspired to have a similar conversation with your ex, should it be right for your situation!
Go follow Neha on Instagram @nehaclimbs, and you can find us @sextraspodcast on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok, our website www.sextraspodcast.com, or email us at [email protected].
Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring Sextras. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code SEXTRAS20.
Please leave us a rating wherever you’re listening or watching and we look forward to seeing you next week!
Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week’s episode we’re talking with Honey’s ex girlfriend, Neha, all about their relationship and break up.
We begin the episode by hearing about both sides of the relationship, from how they met to how the relationship progressively got worse and eventually how they broke up. If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you’ll know that Honey has spoken about how her first relationship was quite toxic, and so we break down exactly what that looked like in a young queer relationship, and how that has affected them going forward.
We reminisce on the importance of having a queer community when you’re younger, and how there’s not much of a model for relationships so they can often get messy. We hear how their mental health impacted the relationship, and how this meant they triggered each other whilst dating, and warn against the dangers of codependency in a relationship. Maria also gives her perspective on the relationship from the outside, though she was very much involved at the time, and how it seemed to disintegrate.
We also cover how the break up eventually happened- they did break up and get back together several times- and the difficulties that came along with seeing your ex every day when you go to the same school. Lastly, we cover how they went from exes to friends, and the progression of making up after a break up and realising what you’ve done wrong and what you’ve learnt from a relationship.
Listen in to hear us cover all sorts of things, from staying friends with an ex, to coming out as queer, to toxic relationships and different sides of the same break up.
We hope you enjoy the episode, we really enjoyed recording with Neha and we hope you’re inspired to have a similar conversation with your ex, should it be right for your situation!
Go follow Neha on Instagram @nehaclimbs, and you can find us @sextraspodcast on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok, our website www.sextraspodcast.com, or email us at [email protected].
Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring Sextras. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code SEXTRAS20.
Please leave us a rating wherever you’re listening or watching and we look forward to seeing you next week!
Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Previous Episode
Should Love Be Difficult? Love Languages & Expectations
When it comes to love, there are some people that believe love should be difficult, and some that it should be easy. In this week’s episode we attempt to answer if love should be easy or hard, discussing how to communicate your expectations and how to show love to your partner depending on their love language.
We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners if they think love should be hard, as well as hearing some things they are willing to compromise and things they are absolutely not, as well as what expectations they know they need to have met in a relationship.
We then get into our thoughts on expectations in relationships. We discuss the narrative that’s sold to us in movies about romantic love and if it’s possible to meet someone who miraculously meets all of your expectations and knows how to show you love. We stress the importance of communication and talk about love languages, and if your partner can know and act on your love language without having to ask what it is. Sometimes we don’t have the capacity to show people love in the way their love language requires, and so we talk about what you should do if you have unfulfilled expectations in relationships, and what normal expectations in relationships are.
Ultimately, we believe that your main love language is something you should expect to have met in your relationship. It can be difficult to know whether you have too high expectations in relationships, but that is there is always at least one thing that you need from your partner in order to feel loved, and it’s reasonable to expect that they fulfil that for you! We often make excuses for our partners when it comes to things we’d like them to do but that they won’t, but we want to discuss if love should be hard work and what our limit is when it comes to not having certain needs met in relationships, and when you should walk away.
There is a myth that relationships are hard work, and they can definitely be worth this work, however you shouldn’t put up with not feeling loved or as if your partner isn’t making effort, because you can always find someone who is willing to make that effort to fulfil the things you need! We love you, and we hope you can all recognise that you are worthy of receiving love in ways that truly make you feel loved. If someone makes you feel like loving you is a chore it could be time to reconsider the relationships and whether you can find someone who can make you feel a little more loved.
We hope you enjoy the episode, if you do please leave us a review and subscribe! You can find us on Instagram, Facebook & TikTok @sextraspodcast, email us at [email protected] or visit our website www.sextraspodcast.com.
Mentions in this episode include “The Distribution of Chapman’s Love Languages in Couples: An Exploratory Cluster Analysis” (Bland & McQueen, 2018), which you can find here:
https://www.millersville.edu/psychology/files/bland/bland-lovelanguages.pdf. To find out your love language, do a quiz such as this one: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language.
Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring Sextras. Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code SEXTRAS20. We’ll see you next week!
Produced by Mable Productions
Original music by Sacha Puttnam
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Next Episode
Are Gen Z Having Less Sex? With Dr Aditi Paul
In this week’s episode we talk to the wonderful Dr Aditi Paul about her research on Gen Z hookup and dating culture. Her book The Current Collegiate Hookup Culture is out now, so please request that your local library or institution purchase it!
We begin the episode by hearing about Aditi’s interest in dating and hookup trends, which inspired her to begin her research on this topic. Aditi is a professor at Pace University, so we ask her if she and her colleagues have assumptions about how gen z date and have sex at uni, and if that was really accurate to what she discovered in her research.
We hear how gen z use dating apps, and if they really all have sneaky links, if they’re anti-relationship, and how often they’re hooking up with people and with who. Aditi tells us whether sex lives of college students really have changed from previous generations, and what new terms there are to describe sex and hookup culture.
Aditi also goes into safety and sex, such as how alcohol impacts the decisions students are making when it comes to sex, and if they practice protected sex. We love that Aditi’s research focuses on people of colour, different genders and sexualities, and so we were of course interested to hear how sex changes amongst different groups, like whether the LGBT community use dating apps more or less than the straight community and how much sex people of colour are having in relation to stereotypes that negatively impact how they are perceived.
We hope you guys enjoy the episode, thank you so much to Aditi for this informative and fun chat! Please request for your institution to purchase her book, and go find out more about her work and her on her website http://www.draditipaul.com/, and her social media @aditipaul & @iamaditipaul.
As always you can find more of us on our website www.sextraspodcast.com, and Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Reddit @sextraspodcast.
Don’t forget to check out our sponsors, too, it really really helps us out! Get 20% off + Free Shipping at Manscaped.com with code SEXTRAS20. Get 10% off sustainable and beautiful sex toys at www.thenaturallovecompany.com with code SEXTRAS.
See you next week!
Produced by Mable Productions
Original music by Sacha Puttnam
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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