Expanding Erotic Intelligence
02/18/21 • 20 min
In this episode, we're having the conversation we need to have about the four keys to creating more of the heat and connection you want and the single practice I use to help couples expand all four things in their relationship, and in so doing, create the love and sex they really deserve.
If you've had a hard time initiating sex, or taking your partner up on their invitations, when they ask in the way they ask, even though you sincerely would like to have more sex, at least in the abstract, this is for you.
Or if you aren't sure how to ask for more of what you want or you think your partner could build more skill at touching and being present sexually, but it's hard to describe what that skillfulness would look like...This is for you.
Or if you notice that you have a hard time staying present in erotic situations: truly letting your partner in and allowing yourself to deeply receive their attention, their touch, and their care...This is for you.
If you face those challenges, you are in very good company. Nobody taught any of us how to have great sex, and a nourishing partnership with a grown up in these changing bodies and with these adult responsibilities: aging parents and growing kids and big careers....While we're trying to build a better world. It's a lot!
And I am determined that today's episode will help, because I would like you to get a handle on these four keys, so you can unlock the best sex of your lives. I know it's still ahead of you, whether you believe that yet or not. And in this episode, you will learn how to create it.
There are four things that dramatically accelerate a couple's ability to go deeper in love and sex. They include clarity, capacity, communication, and container, we're going to go into all four of them.
Full shownotes and edited transcript are at http://lisenbury.com/episode/024.
Join the conversation by listening, share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.
If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.
Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.
In this episode, we're having the conversation we need to have about the four keys to creating more of the heat and connection you want and the single practice I use to help couples expand all four things in their relationship, and in so doing, create the love and sex they really deserve.
If you've had a hard time initiating sex, or taking your partner up on their invitations, when they ask in the way they ask, even though you sincerely would like to have more sex, at least in the abstract, this is for you.
Or if you aren't sure how to ask for more of what you want or you think your partner could build more skill at touching and being present sexually, but it's hard to describe what that skillfulness would look like...This is for you.
Or if you notice that you have a hard time staying present in erotic situations: truly letting your partner in and allowing yourself to deeply receive their attention, their touch, and their care...This is for you.
If you face those challenges, you are in very good company. Nobody taught any of us how to have great sex, and a nourishing partnership with a grown up in these changing bodies and with these adult responsibilities: aging parents and growing kids and big careers....While we're trying to build a better world. It's a lot!
And I am determined that today's episode will help, because I would like you to get a handle on these four keys, so you can unlock the best sex of your lives. I know it's still ahead of you, whether you believe that yet or not. And in this episode, you will learn how to create it.
There are four things that dramatically accelerate a couple's ability to go deeper in love and sex. They include clarity, capacity, communication, and container, we're going to go into all four of them.
Full shownotes and edited transcript are at http://lisenbury.com/episode/024.
Join the conversation by listening, share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.
If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.
Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.
Previous Episode
Talking About Sex
If you want something different in the bedroom but don’t know how to bring it up...
If you have a hard time wrapping your mouth around any of the words for sex acts or body parts...
If your partner has been uncomfortable with you talking about the sex you two have or don’t have...
This episode is for you.
We NEED to have this conversation about conversations about sex - how meta is that? - because in our puritanical-yet-sex-saturated culture, we have been taught that it’s not “nice” to talk about sex... but also that we’re supposed to have great sex... in the absence of talking about it!
Read the full shownotes and download a complete transcript here, where you can also download the companion to this episode: "The 56 Best Sex & Intimacy Questions to Ask Your Partner."
In this episode:
- How we change the world every time we talk openly about the s3x we really want
- The 3 steps to successfully starting a conversation about physical intimacy
- The 3 keys to listening well when your partner is telling you about their experience of s3x with you and their desires
- How to ask your beloved for a change without hurt feelings
- The six kinds of s3xual language and when you might want to use each one
And more.
Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response, anonymously if you wish, inside our freeConscious Couples’ Society on Mighty Networks.
If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.
Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.
Next Episode
Too Nice: The Doormat-Bulldog Cycle in Relationship
If you or your partner is nice, nice, nice, almost toooo nice... and then periodically explodes with out-of-the-blue anger, this episode is for you.
Or if the person doesn’t ever explode, but there’s a way their nice-nice-niceness doesn’t feel quite authentic, or seems forced... We’re going to talk about that, too.
The dynamics we’re discussing today ... I get it. You’re not alone! AND today’s episode will help, because I’m breakin’ it all down:
- How leadership was the first place I saw and named this dynamic, and what I’ve learned about its roots since that time more than 15 years ago
- What drives this seesaw between being over-accommodating in one extreme and being harsh, critical, or aggressive in the other
- How trauma reactions relate to the doormat stance and the bulldog position alike
- How - in the next episode - I'll share how to root out these patterns in yourself and ask for your partner to excavate them if you see them in your relationship
Join the conversation by listening, share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.
Full shownotes are at http://lisenbury.com/episode/025.
If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.
Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.
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