Is It Me, Or Is It You? Releasing Traumatic Family Patterns
11/25/22 • 52 min
Six out of ten Americans have been diagnosed with one or more chronic illnesses, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. While this statistic may seem shocking, even more astounding is the lack of research into common diseases, such as Lyme Disease, that Oakley’s client lives with every day. Many people don’t know that inflammation in the body can create overwhelming anxiety. Because of a lack of understanding of the connection between these symptoms, people with chronic illness diagnoses are often left untreated or even worse, gaslighted about the very real nature of what they’re experiencing.
As Oakley reminds her clients and listeners, the physical body is intimately connected with the mental, emotional and spiritual health of an individual. In this episode, she digs deeper with her client into some of the familial patterns that may have played a role in the physical expression of her disease. Healing generational trauma begins with awareness. This resilient young woman was able to identify unhealthy patterns such as body shaming, codependency, and emotional manipulation within her family relationships and has made choices to set appropriate boundaries. Taking back control of her life has increased her self-esteem and given her the confidence she needs to move forward with healthy relationships with friends, her partner, and most importantly, herself.
Main Topics
- Oakley’s client discusses her chronic illness diagnoses of Lyme, Labisia, and Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) (2:06)
- The definition of gaslighting and how to validate your own experiences (12:30)
- The connection between disease and anxiety (18:55)
- Trigger Warning: Oakley’s client shares about her early teenage years when she felt suicidal and struggled with self-harm (23:03)
- How caretaking can easily become a person’s identity, leading to codependency (31:05)
- Education about sexual health and various strains of Human Papillomavirus (HPV) for female-bodied individuals (40:50)
- Conscious coping mechanisms and setting boundaries (49:10)
Episode Links
The Body Keeps the Score- Bessel van der Kolk
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
Six out of ten Americans have been diagnosed with one or more chronic illnesses, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. While this statistic may seem shocking, even more astounding is the lack of research into common diseases, such as Lyme Disease, that Oakley’s client lives with every day. Many people don’t know that inflammation in the body can create overwhelming anxiety. Because of a lack of understanding of the connection between these symptoms, people with chronic illness diagnoses are often left untreated or even worse, gaslighted about the very real nature of what they’re experiencing.
As Oakley reminds her clients and listeners, the physical body is intimately connected with the mental, emotional and spiritual health of an individual. In this episode, she digs deeper with her client into some of the familial patterns that may have played a role in the physical expression of her disease. Healing generational trauma begins with awareness. This resilient young woman was able to identify unhealthy patterns such as body shaming, codependency, and emotional manipulation within her family relationships and has made choices to set appropriate boundaries. Taking back control of her life has increased her self-esteem and given her the confidence she needs to move forward with healthy relationships with friends, her partner, and most importantly, herself.
Main Topics
- Oakley’s client discusses her chronic illness diagnoses of Lyme, Labisia, and Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) (2:06)
- The definition of gaslighting and how to validate your own experiences (12:30)
- The connection between disease and anxiety (18:55)
- Trigger Warning: Oakley’s client shares about her early teenage years when she felt suicidal and struggled with self-harm (23:03)
- How caretaking can easily become a person’s identity, leading to codependency (31:05)
- Education about sexual health and various strains of Human Papillomavirus (HPV) for female-bodied individuals (40:50)
- Conscious coping mechanisms and setting boundaries (49:10)
Episode Links
The Body Keeps the Score- Bessel van der Kolk
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
Previous Episode
Breaking Down Barriers to Love and Intimacy
Have you ever heard the saying “You can’t love another person until you love yourself”? Oakley’s client, an adult in his mid 20s, has done his personal work. Now he’s ready to take the next step to find his romantic partner and commit to a relationship. But something is holding him back from being able to be vulnerable. So Oakley pulls from her enlightenment toolbelt and offers practical steps for reprogramming the patterns that keep his walls up so that he’s ready to receive his future partner when she comes along.
Vulnerability, or allowing another person to see the full breadth of your strengths and weaknesses, can be scary. To assist her client in working with the wall around his heart, Oakley leads him in a somatic practice that allows him to observe his blockages without judgment and tap into his own healing power. Through this practice, he is able to activate his heart center which clears him of any blocked energy that might prevent him from experiencing what he desires most: a safe, loving relationship where he feels comfortable being himself and can offer that same love to another person. By visualizing the life he wants, he slowly removes the limitations that prevent him from stepping fully into intimacy in relationships. This is how people are able to use the power of love to change old patterns and rewire neural pathways that keep them stuck. Everyone has the ability to work this magic on themselves, and it’s Oakley’s mission to bring these powerful tools to anyone willing to do the work.
Main Topics
- Oakley’s client shares his struggle with vulnerability and his desire for an intimate relationship (04:08)
- The role the past plays in our current relationship patterns (07:15)
- Vulnerability in relationships means asking to be seen (10:27)
- Oakley’s Give Back, Take Back strategy for transmuting old patterns (16:27)
- Using somatic body work to find and release energetic blockages (24:00)
- Quick explanation of the chakra system or energy centers in the body (34:50)
- Activating the torus, a measurable electromagnetic field around the heart, to change thoughts and behaviors (43:48)
- Reaching the realm of possibility in meditation to create new realities (46:33)
- Daily practice for activating the heart (51:25)
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
Next Episode
Is It Me, Or Is It You? Releasing Traumatic Family Patterns Part 2
Cognitive therapy is a powerful tool for addressing generational trauma, but most of the work is done in the mind. In order to truly heal patterns passed down through genetics and environment, Oakley guides her clients to deeper levels of restoration by addressing the energetic body. The therapeutic exercise she has developed called Give Back, Take Back draws from both Eastern and Western traditions. She uses the study of epigenetics to help clients release negative feelings towards primary caregivers, rewire the brain to new possibilities, and declare sovereignty from the behaviors and entanglements that no longer serve them. By guiding young adults to create their individual energetic space separate from those who raised them, they embrace the freedom to be who they truly are, not who others influenced them to be.
The practice begins with the breath. Oakley encourages her client to visualize her parents individually as if they were sitting in the room with her. She creates a safe space for her client to speak out loud what it was like to be their daughter. Through guided meditation, the client declares what coping mechanisms she is giving back to each parent, the heavy patterns that are weighing her down and preventing her from fully experiencing the freedom of her authentic self. Then she says what she is taking back, qualities or characteristics she gave away in order to make others happy. Finally, the session ends with love and gratitude for the role each caregiver played in shaping the client. Feeling lighter and more grounded, this resilient young woman takes back her power and heals her past, present, and future lineage.
Main Topics
- Client’s family history from both maternal and paternal lines (01:25)
- Definition of epigenetics and how it can be used to reprogram the mind (05:50)
- Oakley explains her therapeutic exercise Give Back, Take Back (09:35)
- Oakley guides her client through Give Back, Take Back, starting with her mother’s lineage (17:18)
- Taking back what was given away in childhood (34:20)
- Exercise shifts to client’s father’s lineage (39:10)
- Close guided meditation with love and gratitude (52:28)
- Debriefing the Give Back, Take Back experience (54:35)
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
Check out the website!
https://www.sexdrugsandenlightenment.com
Connect with Oakley:
https://www.instagram.com/oakleyogden/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oakley-ogden-7a86b112/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxn6BnlaAAK_i9utOIg2KOQ
Listen, rate, and subscribe!
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