EP22: Dr. Kelly Brogan on Childbirth, Motherhood, and Postpartum as a PsychoSpiritual Awakening

Explicit content warning

03/07/18 • 31 min

Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

“We blame the victim, and medicate her as the only offering.”

Dr. Kelly Brogan is a board-certified non-prescribing psychiatrist. She is the author of NYT Bestseller, A Mind of Your Own. (Get your copy ASAP). She is revolutionizing the way that we view mental health and how people heal. She is a pioneer and a trailblazer and this interview is full of the fire that propels her. I was honored that she shared her own experience of childbirth and motherhood, and why she didn't think she was "mom material."

What You'll Hear:

Kelly went into medicine to serve women
The best births are natural births, according to the evidence
Her postpartum period was a reckoning, which allowed her to wake up and honor herself
We blame the victim, when it comes to postpartum
The worst things that happen to us are moments of psycho-spiritual initiation
Her tremendous masculine energy, her need to fight for others, and how she wasn’t sure she was mom material

What Kelly Shares:

Why women are prescribed antidepressants at double the rate of men (1:34)
How she woke up to holistic medicine & spirituality (3:10)
Why she had a natural birth (4:00)
Her postpartum journey with Hashimoto’s (4:50)
The biological reasons autoimmune diseases begin expressing during postpartum (6:49)
And the other reasons: postpartum is a reckoning and an opportunity (10:07)
Postpartum is a psycho-spiritual awakening (11:33)
Restructuring yourself and tapering off psych meds (14:14)
What are you stuffing that caused you to go on medication? (16:00)
We don’t hold space for fear, and that’s exactly where we need to go (16:25)
We meet our true selves in natural childbirth (17:00)
Why Kelly didn’t think she was mom material (18:15)
Natural home births are the truth (21:10)
We need to live what we talk about, to be great practitioners (24:10)
The history-making results of Kelly’s program, the Vital Mind Reset (26:25)

“We blame the victim, and medicate her as the only offering.”

What You'll Hear:

Kelly went into medicine to serve women
The best births are natural births, according to the evidence
Her postpartum period was a reckoning, which allowed her to wake up and honor herself
We blame the victim, when it comes to postpartum
The worst things that happen to us are moments of psycho-spiritual initiation
Her tremendous masculine energy, her need to fight for others, and how she wasn’t sure she was mom material

What Kelly Shares:

Why women are prescribed antidepressants at double the rate of men (1:34)
How she woke up to holistic medicine & spirituality (3:10)
Why she had a natural birth (4:00)
Her postpartum journey with Hashimoto’s (4:50)
The biological reasons autoimmune diseases begin expressing during postpartum (6:49)
And the other reasons: postpartum is a reckoning and an opportunity (10:07)
Postpartum is a psycho-spiritual awakening (11:33)
Restructuring yourself and tapering off psych meds (14:14)
What are you stuffing that caused you to go on medication? (16:00)
We don’t hold space for fear, and that’s exactly where we need to go (16:25)
We meet our true selves in natural childbirth (17:00)
Why Kelly didn’t think she was mom material (18:15)
Natural home births are the truth (21:10)
We need to live what we talk about, to be great practitioners (24:10)
The history-making results of Kelly’s program, the Vital Mind Reset (26:25)

Previous Episode

EP21: Ellen Boeder on Motherhood, Feminism, and the Real Costs of Overvaluing Independence

What Ellen Shares:

Her exploration of feminism and motherhood
Her new understanding of career after motherhood
How the cultural standards of having to do it all, alone, sets mothers up for burnout
How burnout and health issues allowed her learn how to receive help and collaborate with community
Her desire to add motherhood, bodies, and intuition to the feminist conversation; plus giving women the permission and agency to do what’s right for them

What You’ll Hear:

How Ellen’s work shifted when she became a mother (2:30)
How her feminism has shifted with motherhood (4:24)
How motherhood has been seen as an oppressive institution (5:50)
Is feminism about everything other than motherhood? (6:20)
Feelings of disempowerment/invisibility after becoming a mother (7:53)
Who am I/what is my value in the world now that I’m a mother? (8:40)
The plan vs. the reality, after having a baby (9:53)
“I thought I would have a child and keep going in the same direction” (11:37)
Andrea O’Reilly’s books on feminism & motherhood (13:21)
Motherhood as an institution or mothering as a female experience (15:13)
The hormonal differences between men and women as it relates to work (17:18)
Burn-out and depletion in mothers (18:02)
Self-care as rebellion (23:05)
Prioritizing when you’re in a sprint (25:25)
Balancing desires & motherhood (30:52)
Self-worth & mothering (32:30)
Creating a home life where everyone feels nourished (34:00)
The hard work of mothering that goes unnoticed (34:48)
American values of individuation (36:43)
Over-valuing independence has a cost (38:45)
How much can I do in collaboration? (39:40)
The stress of being overly self-reliant (42:35)
Attachment styles and sex (44:17)
What’s missing from feminism now (46:40)
How do we give women the support to choose what’s right for them? (48:06)
Throwing out the word feminism (51:10)
Unrealistic expectations in postpartum & motherhood (54:00)
Being present for a child is an enormous gift (55:20)

Find her here:

http://ellenboeder.com/

https://relationshipschool.net/

Next Episode

EP23: Carlos Marin Interviews Kimberly about Natural Birth, Gender Roles, and Explorat

EP: Magamama talks about natural birth, gender roles, and exploratory sex with Carlos Marin Jr.

In this episode, I share:

My birth story and soul calling to write The Fourth Trimester; the realities of postpartum care today
Information for men postpartum, role of the masculine in birth, and why we’re not optimizing our biology
How to reframe sex postpartum; why childbirth is the one thing that makes us reconsider the way we’re doing sex
Why birth is also a death and other thoughts on rites of passage
Thoughts on losing control and increasing your capacity to hold charge
Natural birth vs. hospital birth and how to choose the right care providers
Tid-bits on exploratory sex, the connection between birth and sex, and sexological bodywork

You will hear:

Is my pelvis going to split in two? And more from my birth story (2:52)
Is postpartum depression related to a lack of information? (5:24)
What’s missing from the 6-week postpartum visit (6:29)
Information for men postpartum (8:09)
Reframing the conversation about sex (8:55)
It’s okay to not want penetrative sex and other ways to connect (9:10)
Childbirth is one thing that makes us consider the way we’re doing sex (9:27)
What is a rite of passage? How does it differ in other cultures? (12:11)
One of the hallmarks of a rite of passage is a death (13:39)
A man’s role in birth is to protect the birth space (21:13)
How do you approach prenatal education? (26:25)
The two doctors in North County San Diego for natural birth (27:20)
Realizing natural births are as safe as hospital births (28:13)
How do you prepare someone to lose control? (30:12)
Exploratory sex is awesome preparation for birth (31:12)
Many women don’t get to lose control during a hospital birth (34:08)
Go to the doulas and the midwives to find natural birth doctors (36:00)
Find a care provider who believes in women and natural childbirth = activist (36:50)
How Carlos dealt with seeing his wife in “pain” during childbirth (38:08)
History of birth, witch trials; patriarchy (40:26)
On hospitals and creating a birthing environment (45:13)
What is a doula? (47:17)
The Fourth Trimester (Dec. 26) and why people should read (51:30)
My vision that all women can reclaim full sexual expression (59:40)
What does postpartum mean to you? (1:00:21)
How do birth and sex relate? (1:01:25)
What do you do as a sexological bodyworker? (1:09:29)