Episode 380: 5 Questions Sex Therapists Are Constantly Asked

Explicit content warning

03/18/25 • 38 min

1 Listener

What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? In this episode, we’re going to dive into five questions that come up over and over again. We’re also going to address when you should consider seeing out professional help for a sex problem, as well as explore a few tips for maintaining a happy, healthy, and exciting sex life.

My guest is Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy private practice in Chicago.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What should you do if you’re having difficulty orgasming during sex?
How can partners navigate wanting different amounts of sex?
How do you tell your partner you want to try something new sexually?
If sexual frequency declines in a relationship, does that mean there’s something wrong?
How do you know if your fantasies are “normal” or not?

You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology

Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What should you do if you’re having difficulty orgasming during sex?
How can partners navigate wanting different amounts of sex?
How do you tell your partner you want to try something new sexually?
If sexual frequency declines in a relationship, does that mean there’s something wrong?
How do you know if your fantasies are “normal” or not?

You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Previous Episode

Episode 379: Life Is Too Short For Bad Sex (Essential Listen)

Nothing makes us lose desire for sex faster than having bad sex. Indeed, many cases of low sexual desire are simply due to people having sex that isn’t worth having. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the three main types of bad sex, what it means to have good sex, and how to stop having bad sex.

Today, we’re revisiting a fantastic conversation I had with Dr. Kelly Casperson back in episode 128. Kelly is a urologist, sex educator, author, and podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She combines education, humor, and candor in her book and podcast, both of which are titled, You Are Not Broken.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What are the three main kinds of bad sex?
How can we stop thinking of sex as something we’re obligated to do?
Why is it bad idea to think of sex as a bargaining tool?
What kind of sex should we be aiming for?
How can we get closer to having good (or “good enough”) sex?

You can check out Kelly’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Next Episode

Episode 381: Rewriting Your Sexual Script

When you have sex, do you kind of already know how it’s going to play out before your clothes even came off? If so, you’re not alone. Most of us follow sexual scripts that feature a predictable sequence of activities. However, these scripts can limit our opportunities for pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to rewrite your sexual script and cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life.

I am joined once again by Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy private practice in Chicago.

Some of the specific questions we explore include:

What is a sexual script anyway, and what might a typical script look like?
How do sexual scripts limit our experiences with pleasure and connection?
How do sexual scripts contribute to the orgasm gap?
What does it mean to rewrite your sexual script?
How do you rewrite your script when you’re not entirely sure what you want?

You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.