Episode 379: Life Is Too Short For Bad Sex (Essential Listen)

Explicit content warning

03/14/25 • 42 min

1 Listener

Nothing makes us lose desire for sex faster than having bad sex. Indeed, many cases of low sexual desire are simply due to people having sex that isn’t worth having. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the three main types of bad sex, what it means to have good sex, and how to stop having bad sex.

Today, we’re revisiting a fantastic conversation I had with Dr. Kelly Casperson back in episode 128. Kelly is a urologist, sex educator, author, and podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She combines education, humor, and candor in her book and podcast, both of which are titled, You Are Not Broken.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What are the three main kinds of bad sex?
How can we stop thinking of sex as something we’re obligated to do?
Why is it bad idea to think of sex as a bargaining tool?
What kind of sex should we be aiming for?
How can we get closer to having good (or “good enough”) sex?

You can check out Kelly’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What are the three main kinds of bad sex?
How can we stop thinking of sex as something we’re obligated to do?
Why is it bad idea to think of sex as a bargaining tool?
What kind of sex should we be aiming for?
How can we get closer to having good (or “good enough”) sex?

You can check out Kelly’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Previous Episode

Episode 378: What It’s Like To Try Sugar Dating

Sugar dating is a type of transactional relationship in which sex and companionship are exchanged for some type of compensation. Reports suggest that there are millions of people engaging in this. In today’s show, we’re going to explore sugar dating relationships, including what draws people to it, the advantages and disadvantages of sugar dating, and who holds the power in a sugaring arrangement.

I am joined once again by Kate Metcalfe, a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of Texas at Austin and a member of Dr. Cindy Meston’s Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory. Kate’s research broadly focuses on sexual agency and motivation across different contexts and life stages.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

How is sugar dating defined? Is it a form of sex work?
Is sex always a component of sugar dating?
What are sugar babies and benefactors looking for from these relationships?
What are the biggest perceived benefits and drawbacks of sugar dating?
Who do sugar babies and benefactors see as having more power in their relationship?

You can connect with Kate on LinkedIn to stay updated on her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Next Episode

Episode 380: 5 Questions Sex Therapists Are Constantly Asked

What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? In this episode, we’re going to dive into five questions that come up over and over again. We’re also going to address when you should consider seeing out professional help for a sex problem, as well as explore a few tips for maintaining a happy, healthy, and exciting sex life.

My guest is Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy private practice in Chicago.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What should you do if you’re having difficulty orgasming during sex?
How can partners navigate wanting different amounts of sex?
How do you tell your partner you want to try something new sexually?
If sexual frequency declines in a relationship, does that mean there’s something wrong?
How do you know if your fantasies are “normal” or not?

You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!