Second Mix: Reflect, Revise, and Remix your life

Hello listeners! It's been a great season, from February to September, and this has been a really fun process for me - starting a podcast and learning how to do it. It was also a major lesson in consistency. I can't wait to start it all again next year - more guests, and more of everything else you've been hearing the past 8 months.
During the break, I will still be posting - not consistently, not every Monday and Thursday. But if I meet someone amazing that I want to interview, I'm going to put it out there and not wait until February. And when I have new thoughts and ideas to share with you, I'm just going to get those out there too. No sense waiting to share good information.
I've also got some guest interviews recorded and almost ready to roll out, so I will put those out as I have time to complete them - make sure you listen to those, because as the season went on I grew as an interviewer and was able to create more and more value with each episode.
So stay tuned, and if you 've been clicking the social media links to get to this podcast, now would be a great time to subscribe. You can also buy me a coffee to help me get prepared for next season - just go to secondmix.net, and click buy me a coffee to support the show. I'm not reaching out to advertisers, or selling anything on the show, so that would be a great way to help keep this thing going.
Thank you so much for listening. I'm going to leave you with a song that I wrote and recorded. You've been hearing it all year as my intro music. My wife named this song Let Us Have Sexiness. So here we go.
Keep reflecting, revising, and remixing your lives - thank you so much for being a part of this. I'll see you soon!

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I want to talk about what I call “A permission deficit” – I wasted a lot of time in my life waiting for permission to get going. Permission to start my own business, permission to live the life I wanted to be living. I call this the curse of permission-orientation.

I think that most people have a deep-down feeling that they need permission from some outside authority before they do the things they want to do with their lives. The people who are successful are able to bypass this and shed it somehow. It’s really not that difficult to do, but in order the counter the problem (just like many things), first you have to be aware that it exists.

Most people listening to this grew up in a society where we needed to ask permission – in school, to go to the bathroom, or to leave the classroom. At home, to go outside, to get something to eat. As we grew up, and became adults, anything different or unusual wasn’t really acceptable unless we had permission from whichever authority ruled over that part of our lives.

I believe that “need of permission” keeps people nailed down, making it harder and harder to break out of the box that we believe we’re supposed to be in .

Everything you want is available to you. Everything you want is within your reach. You are not stuck, you don’t need any outside force to ALLOW YOU to go after your goals.

I think to some degree we all feel that – and this is why mentors, coaches and a positive inspiring group of friends – and even listening to positive stuff like this – it’s all really helpful in getting people over that need to ask permission. The need to find permission.

What I’m striving for is to find that internal authority. That voice inside me that can make a strong decision to DO OR DIE. The voice that I create, instead of waiting to hear it from someone else. That someone else is probably never going to come along. It’s much better to find it within yourself, than to wait.

Waiting until you feel like you’re allowed can be damaging.

1. It causes you to procrastinate. Many times we will look for all the excuses we can to NOT CHANGE, because change is scary and uncomfortable. If you hear a voice that says “let’s wait until we’re allowed” to take this step or start your business, or move to another town – if you hear that voice it’s really easy to agree with it, and say – all of that sounds good, and I’m going to do it when the timing is right. But the timing is never right unless you make a decision, and then a plan, and then begin to carry it out.

2. It trains us to keep waiting instead of taking action. We grant our own permission to live our own lives, which means that part of you that is waiting for permission is most likely the same part of you that can give permission. If we keep training ourselves to wait for permission, we’re just prolonging that notion. The sooner we try to ignore it, the faster we will get out of the habit, and start doing whatever it takes to get whatever it is we want.

3. It limits your goals. The goals you have the ability to set for yourself, the intentions and things you want with your life – these are unlimited. You can be what you want and do whatever you want to do. But if you are permission-oriented, then you might be automatically self-disqualifying for any goals that “seem” too large. This could stop your from achieving your full potential. So if you say “ I

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How do you find your Success Network.

I’m not necessarily talking about your audience, or your tribe. Just a group of people who feel the same way you do and those who are attracted by what you say. What you do with this group is up to you – if you’re going to make them your audience, sell to them, or simply build your network. There are a lot of possibilities.

What you have to avoid is this: You can’t be bothered with all the people who aren’t going to do what you want them to do, feel what you want them to feel. It isn’t worth your time.

Nearly infinite varieties of people, and some aren’t going to do what you think is right.

Don’t expect a liar to tell the truth. Being surprised that a liar is lying is naïve. There are bad drivers out there. Being surprised by a bad driver? Also naïve.

Incidentally, another thing that goes along with being surprised by bad drivers is that they make us so angry. Some driver pulls a crazy stunt on the way to work, and we get mad, and we’re fuming, and we’re complaining about it. And we carry it with us all day, let it ruin the day, meanwhile the driver is happily going about his day with no clue that we even exist. But we let him ruin our day. If that’s not foolish, I don’t what is. Back to it...

When I was heavily involved in the church, I constantly saw Christians complaining about the actions of non-christians. I made a lot of noise about this, eventually pushing people away from me – unattracting them because I wouldn’t let someone make a point like this in front of me. I’d say, “You want people who don’t believe the same things as you do to act as if they do believe the same things as you.”

I still carry this with me – this whole idea of expecting people to fit my paradigms. Instead of doing that, my goal NOW is to find the people who already fit. The people who enjoy what I say, who appreciate my way of looking at the world.

So how do you find your tribe?

1. You have to know pretty precisely what you stand for, and all of your communication should follow the principles that you claim.

a. People know a fake, we all have a BS detector built in – if you are faking it, people will know, and worse, you’ll be attracting the wrong people to you with a half-hearted message. So pick a mission you believe in.

b. People will know when you are trying to impress them, and they will be unimpressed by this. So don’t worry about being impressive. Worry about having the right message for you, and the right mission for you.

c. Your tribe will – the right people – will resonate with you when you are being genuine and true to your nature

d. Be a giver, not a taker. Whatever you are doing, keep in your mind at all times that you want to give to people. If you start something with the idea of getting something out of it, and you are largely focused on that, it will start to come out in your words and mannerisms, and it will cease to attract the very people you want to attract. Which brings me to

2. You have to be valuable. What can you give? What has helped you? What have you learned? What shortcuts can you provide? What can you DO for them? People are really interested in themselves and if you try to get them interested in you, the project will fail. People care about their own experiences, so if you can offer them some sort of transformation – something that

Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!

Website: SecondMix.net

Email Me: [email protected]
REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with the MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering GOAL MASTERY for Real Estate Professionals. Your business gets better as YOU get better! Sign Up Now

Second Mix is back for season 2!
I was in the hospital for 25 days out of a 45-day period in February and March of this year.
This episode is about how it affected my personal journey and some of the things that I learned about how personal development actually works.
Matt Bennett

Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!

Website: SecondMix.net

Email Me: [email protected]
REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with the MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering GOAL MASTERY for Real Estate Professionals. Your business gets better as YOU get better! Sign Up Now

Richard Friesen works with professionals and business leaders who want to increase their personal effectiveness with joy and grace. His neuroscience-based Mind MusclesTM model gives his clients the opportunity to reach their goals with online training, simulations, interactive exercises, group support, and real-time decision processes.
Richard has been a futures broker for Merrill Lynch, a floor trader on the CME, CBOT, and the options floor of the Pacific Exchange where he built and sold a successful options trading firm where he served on the Exchange's board of directors. He also founded and built a financial software company and is the inventor of ten significant trading interface patents. This combined with his Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology, Neurolinguistics Programing Master’s certification, and neuroscience focus, brings a unique framework to business, investing, and career success.
Rich is building a Money-Positive community with his book “A Private Conversation with Money” and his online course. This book observes the main character “Joe” who deals with all the conflicts, self-sabotage and belief systems around money and wealth.
https://conversations.money/wealth/
[email protected]
https://conversations.money/

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Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!

Website: SecondMix.net

Email Me: [email protected]
REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with the MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering GOAL MASTERY for Real Estate Professionals. Your business gets better as YOU get better! Sign Up Now