Self-Awareness for Leadership Success － with Dr. Nia Thomas

On the one hand, ‘every leader knows’ that it’s important to make all voices heard in an organisation, diversity and inclusion is critical. On the other hand, it’s still not uncommon to experience meetings where only a minority of participants is talking. And why is it so difficult to truly listen to opposing viewpoints?

It has a lot to do with dialogue. In this episode we go deeper into the practice of genuin dialogue, its benefits and challenges. And, as always Gerrit and Martin have very different entry-points. Gerrit is sharing his personal observations on why dialogue is so hard, and Martin is sharing tips on how leaders can increase the quality of dialogue in their conversations and team meetings.
Key moments

[08:55] Gerrit shares 3 observations of why dialogue and listening is hard:

• the difference in motivation
• emotions
• own bias

The problem is not so much that ‘the other person is obviously wrong’, but that our underlying world-view is challenged.

[15:24] We don’t give enough time to listen, to let people share what is important to them. We say that we have an ‘open mind’, but suspending judgement and being non-defensive, is not easy. So we need to be aware of our own ‘trigger points’ as leaders by being more aware of:

• What subject or situation might trigger defensiveness?
• When might I raise my voice?
• When might my non-verbal communication change to being more defensive?

[19:21] Leaders must become better in leading group dialogue, not only focus on the content of the conversation but also on the process, switching between wearing the leader-hat and the facilitator hat. Plan your meetings to include time for dialogue and create meeting structure that supports dialogue.

[24:23] Practical examples of easy to apply dialogue structures:

• Equal Voice
• 1-2-4-All

[27:52] Dialogue takes too much time. How to get around it? Put the time invested in the right context:

• You hired all these smart and diverse people - it takes structure and time to help them ‘think together’.
• The cost of failed or delayed transformation projects is larger than the upfront cost of good dialogue.

[32:05] Common misperceptions of ‘dialogue’:

• The process of dialogue and then making decisions can be different. If we use dialogue to involve and let everyone be heard, doesn’t need to be followed by consensus decision making.
• Dialogue doesn’t need to be all harmony and ‘holding hands’. The best dialogue is a safe enough environment to explore conflicting opinions.

Reflection Questions:

• How can I use an approach of dialogue to scale up my influence and impact in my organisation? With what people or stakeholders, and for what questions?
• What are the world-views that I hold dearly and that I don't like to see challenged, and in which situations, or what triggers me being defensive, ie. making it more difficult for me to have a dialogue?

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More info about us and our work is also on our website: secondcrackleadership.com
Do you have any questions, feedback, or suggestions for us? Would you like to explore how we can help you to drive results in your organisations through a company-wide initiative or individual executive coaching? Then email us at [email protected]
To connect with us on LinkedIn:
Martin Aldergård
Gerrit Pelzer