Ridiculous Crime

There are flights from hell and then there’s United Flight 976 from Buenos Aires to New York City. With all the drinking, outbursts, violence, and other unmentionable deeds in this story, flying first class never looked so horrible.

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An animatronic character was stolen bit by bit from a pavilion at Disneyworld's Epcot, right under the noses of security at the beloved attraction. Who stripped Buzzy naked? Who sold his clothes? Who bought his clothes? Who is Buzzy in the first place?

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When the historian who spent his whole career studying the life and exploits of Sir Francis Drake was presented with what appeared to be the Englishman's most important relic, he should have thought it too good to be true. Instead, he bought into it with his whole heart and career. A nerdy band of history buffs believed they pulled off the greatest of pranks, but the historian's reputation and sway were too strong to be brought down by a phony artifact. Too bad for one of the pranksters, who had counted on the whole affair as a means to exact revenge. This is how one fake metal plate became part of the California educational curriculum.

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You need money. You know the Sinatra family. Obviously, the only thing to do is kidnap the adult son of Old Blue Eyes and ask for a ransom. But not too much, just enough. You don’t want to seem greedy. Learn about one man’s bumbling crusade to raise money for his family and raise the ire of America’s most mobbed-up crooner.

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What do you get when you take one part hardscrabble Eastern Bloc kid, three parts lousy ice hockey skills, twelve parts booze, six parts non-violence, and infinite amounts of determination? You get one whole Attila Ambrus, the Hungarian Whiskey Robber.

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