#16 Doortje Braeken - Sexual pleasure, language and finding the balance between self-love and loving another person.
08/09/22 • 61 min
Intro
I met Doortje when she was giving a lecture at the University of Amsterdam. She spoke about sexual pleasure not being a luxury but rather a fundamental human right that everyone deserves to experience. After the lecture finished, I left craving more. I wanted to hear what else she had to say, and I knew I needed to record a podcast with her so others could enjoy her wisdom and positive attitude. Despite way too many “precisely” from my side, I hope you will enjoy this episode as much as I did.
About Doortje
Doortje Braeken van Schaik has more than 35 years of experience in adolescent sexual reproductive health and rights. She is the co-author of the International Sexuality Education Guidelines by UNESCO and a board member of the Global Advisory Board on Sexual Health and Wellbeing. In 2014 she received the golden medal from the World Association for Sexual Health for her contributions to Comprehensive Sexual Education.
Doortje worked on guidelines for the sexual reproductive health of young people for WHO. She is the author of seven pleasure principles for The Pleasure Projects.
Time codes
00:03:51 - Including pleasure in sexual health education
00:10:32 - What is sex, how do we define it and what falls into this category
00:13:55 - Language and sexual expression
00:20:50 - Pleasure meter, human rights aspect in sexual pleasure
00:36:18 - Educating sexual offenders
00:41:24 - Intimacy and sexual satisfaction after menopause
00:46:35 - Depiction of sex in media
Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.
This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process.
If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way
🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics
🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set
👥 Gain confidence in your people skills
💼 Do more meaningful work
🔄 Change your mindset
Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅ 5 weeks of intensive learning experience
✅ making meaningful connections
✅ 1-on-1 coaching sessions
✅ Guest talks by industry experts
✅ Ongoing support after the workshop
Apply on RedCheeks Academy.
Intro
I met Doortje when she was giving a lecture at the University of Amsterdam. She spoke about sexual pleasure not being a luxury but rather a fundamental human right that everyone deserves to experience. After the lecture finished, I left craving more. I wanted to hear what else she had to say, and I knew I needed to record a podcast with her so others could enjoy her wisdom and positive attitude. Despite way too many “precisely” from my side, I hope you will enjoy this episode as much as I did.
About Doortje
Doortje Braeken van Schaik has more than 35 years of experience in adolescent sexual reproductive health and rights. She is the co-author of the International Sexuality Education Guidelines by UNESCO and a board member of the Global Advisory Board on Sexual Health and Wellbeing. In 2014 she received the golden medal from the World Association for Sexual Health for her contributions to Comprehensive Sexual Education.
Doortje worked on guidelines for the sexual reproductive health of young people for WHO. She is the author of seven pleasure principles for The Pleasure Projects.
Time codes
00:03:51 - Including pleasure in sexual health education
00:10:32 - What is sex, how do we define it and what falls into this category
00:13:55 - Language and sexual expression
00:20:50 - Pleasure meter, human rights aspect in sexual pleasure
00:36:18 - Educating sexual offenders
00:41:24 - Intimacy and sexual satisfaction after menopause
00:46:35 - Depiction of sex in media
Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.
This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process.
If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way
🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics
🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set
👥 Gain confidence in your people skills
💼 Do more meaningful work
🔄 Change your mindset
Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅ 5 weeks of intensive learning experience
✅ making meaningful connections
✅ 1-on-1 coaching sessions
✅ Guest talks by industry experts
✅ Ongoing support after the workshop
Apply on RedCheeks Academy.
Previous Episode
#15 Cuckolding - Interviews with cuckoldress & her husband
In this two-part episode, I spoke with a couple about cuckolding. My goal with this episode is to present a different lifestyle and a relationship type that we often don’t speak about. Crystal Welch and her husband are a married cuckold couple and they have been together for 8 years. Cuckolding is a type of consensual non-monogamy, where only the woman has multiple sexual partners (called “bulls”), and the husband remains faithful. It’s a form of domination that can be expressed differently in the relationship, and most of the time, the wife is the dominant one.
The first part is with R, the husband. And in the second conversation, I speak with the wife - Crystal. Both of them agreed to the interview under the condition that their real identities are kept secret.
(The first interview ends around 44 minutes in.)
Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.
This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process.
If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way
🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics
🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set
👥 Gain confidence in your people skills
💼 Do more meaningful work
🔄 Change your mindset
Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅ 5 weeks of intensive learning experience
✅ making meaningful connections
✅ 1-on-1 coaching sessions
✅ Guest talks by industry experts
✅ Ongoing support after the workshop
Apply on RedCheeks Academy.
Next Episode
#17 Sofie van den Haak - Disabilities, Sex and Intimacy
Are we privileged with our accessibility to sex and pleasure? What is sexcare? Can pornography help disabled people with exploring sexual pleasure? These and many other topics I discussed with Sofie van den Haak.
Sofie van den Haak is an applied psychologist who works with different organisations that help disabled people explore intimacy and sex. She started working at the age of 15 in health care. First, she worked helping people with dementia, and for the last three years, she focused on people with disabilities and their need for intimacy and sexual expression. Her mission is to help vulnerable people in society to feel more heard, seen and loved.
Episode navigation:
00:00- How it all started
00:08 - defining terms like disability and sex-care
00:18 - exploring intimacy, communication, and aspect of coaching in sex-care
00:27- consent and boundaries
00:31 - ethics
00:42 - the process - intake, matching, preparation
00:48 - activities provided by sexcarer during the appointment
00:53 - pornography and disability
00:58 - sexcarer's boundaries
01:02 - becoming a sexcarer
01:06 - sexcare globally
Join the workshop Intimacy on Screen at RedCheeks Academy to learn about the ethical intimacy.
This workshop is very different from typical education. There are no tests or grades. I believe that the best way to learn is by doing. You will learn useful techniques and strategies, but mostly you will get to practice the skills that are essential for the ethical production process.
If you want to:
🎬 Learn how to produce intimate scenes in an ethical way
🗣️ Improve communication skills about complex topics
🎭 Practice troubleshooting real-life situations on the set
👥 Gain confidence in your people skills
💼 Do more meaningful work
🔄 Change your mindset
Roll up your sleeves and prepare for:
✅ 5 weeks of intensive learning experience
✅ making meaningful connections
✅ 1-on-1 coaching sessions
✅ Guest talks by industry experts
✅ Ongoing support after the workshop
Apply on RedCheeks Academy.
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