How To Manage Your Emotions In Marriage (Part 1)

02/04/20 • 32 min

How To Manage Your Emotions In Marriage
This episode delivers the absolute #1 tool for living the "empowered life" in relationship with yourself, your spouse, your children, and your friends! Of all the shows we will do, the How To Manage Your Emotions In Marriage will be the one you go back to hear again. It’s a treasure! Not because we are so great, but because it is loaded with a ton a great truths about being empowered as a person.

Here’s a recap of what we talk about in this episode.

Thoughts Feelings Actions
- This is the paradigm: What I THINK determines how I FEEL, and how I feel determines my ACTIONS.
- This is a great truth that we have used with thousands of people over the years. It's one that now you get to use going forward in your marriage and other relationships!
- Thoughts, Self-Talk, and Narrative all mean the same. They all determine the feeling that will follow.
We are capable of becoming new and empowered people when our Thinking or Self-Talk changes!
- Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)
- It's not about thinking positive. It's about telling yourself the truth!
Thoughts and Feeling are two very different things!
- We use them interchangeably, and get away with it in our culture. (Example: "I feel like this room is too dark.") This is not a feeling, IT IS A THOUGHT! The feeling may be gloomy. "I think the room is too dark because I feel gloomy when I stay in here too long."
- This point is very important if you want to be intentional about checking your self-talk.
I can no longer BLAME others for how I feel!
- Feelings don't come from people, they come from thoughts!
- "Stuart made me angry" no longer works in my marriage. What I tell myself about something she did or said will be what determines my feeling of anger or any other emotion.
- This is a major tool to avoid feelings of RESENTMENT towards your spouse!
Be ready to discern if your thinking or self-talk is RATIONAL/TRUTHFUL or IRRATIONAL/LIES
- If your thought is irrational, YOU MUST REPLACE IT with the TRUTH!
- Your feelings and actions will follow!

Call To ACTION
Any real change requires a call to actions. So here are a few things we want you to do.

Put Thoughts Feelings Actions on an index card to go in your car or on your bathroom mirror.
- You will be reminded throughout the day.
- You will also remember the important order of this process!
Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to and REVIEW the Red Truck Marriage podcast!
- We don't want you to miss an episode!
- You will be one of the first to hear Part 2 of How To Manage Your Emotions In Marriage.
- We are going to show you how to integrate this new tool every day of your life.
Invite another couple you care about to the Red Truck Marriage podcast!
- We need a community of other couples who want to live out God's Best in marriage.
- It will help you to have friends who are also processing the Red Truck Marriage content.
Choose to drive the Red Truck in your marriage!
- It will cause your spouse to RUN towards you.
- Listen to the trailer if you don't know the story about the Red Truck!
Join the Red Truck Marriage Facebook Group!
- You will get exclusive "goodies" from us by being a member!
- We will join you weekly for coaching on becoming the HEROES of your Marriage Story!
- Join the R

Send us a text

Here’s a recap of what we talk about in this episode.

Thoughts Feelings Actions
- This is the paradigm: What I THINK determines how I FEEL, and how I feel determines my ACTIONS.
- This is a great truth that we have used with thousands of people over the years. It's one that now you get to use going forward in your marriage and other relationships!
- Thoughts, Self-Talk, and Narrative all mean the same. They all determine the feeling that will follow.
We are capable of becoming new and empowered people when our Thinking or Self-Talk changes!
- Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)
- It's not about thinking positive. It's about telling yourself the truth!
Thoughts and Feeling are two very different things!
- We use them interchangeably, and get away with it in our culture. (Example: "I feel like this room is too dark.") This is not a feeling, IT IS A THOUGHT! The feeling may be gloomy. "I think the room is too dark because I feel gloomy when I stay in here too long."
- This point is very important if you want to be intentional about checking your self-talk.
I can no longer BLAME others for how I feel!
- Feelings don't come from people, they come from thoughts!
- "Stuart made me angry" no longer works in my marriage. What I tell myself about something she did or said will be what determines my feeling of anger or any other emotion.
- This is a major tool to avoid feelings of RESENTMENT towards your spouse!
Be ready to discern if your thinking or self-talk is RATIONAL/TRUTHFUL or IRRATIONAL/LIES
- If your thought is irrational, YOU MUST REPLACE IT with the TRUTH!
- Your feelings and actions will follow!

Call To ACTION
Any real change requires a call to actions. So here are a few things we want you to do.

Put Thoughts Feelings Actions on an index card to go in your car or on your bathroom mirror.
- You will be reminded throughout the day.
- You will also remember the important order of this process!
Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to and REVIEW the Red Truck Marriage podcast!
- We don't want you to miss an episode!
- You will be one of the first to hear Part 2 of How To Manage Your Emotions In Marriage.
- We are going to show you how to integrate this new tool every day of your life.
Invite another couple you care about to the Red Truck Marriage podcast!
- We need a community of other couples who want to live out God's Best in marriage.
- It will help you to have friends who are also processing the Red Truck Marriage content.
Choose to drive the Red Truck in your marriage!
- It will cause your spouse to RUN towards you.
- Listen to the trailer if you don't know the story about the Red Truck!
Join the Red Truck Marriage Facebook Group!
- You will get exclusive "goodies" from us by being a member!
- We will join you weekly for coaching on becoming the HEROES of your Marriage Story!
- Join the R

Previous Episode

Trailer: What is a Red Truck Marriage?

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Welcome to the Red Truck Marriage Podcast! In this short episode we will share a bit about who we are and the story behind the name, Red Truck Marriage.

Next Episode

How To Manage Your Emotions In Marriage (Part 2)

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This episode is Part 2 of How To Manage Your Emotions In Marriage. It's all about how to live the "empowered life" in relationship with yourself, your spouse, your children, and your friends! As you know, we all have our moments in marriage when it seems almost impossible to get unstuck in negative emotions such as guilt, shame, anxiety, resentment, and fear (to name a few). This episode will give you real hope in learning how to break free from allowing events, people or situations to dictate the quality of our lives.

Here’s a recap of what we talk about in this episode.

Thoughts Feelings Actions
- This is the paradigm: What I THINK determines how I FEEL, and how I feel determines my ACTIONS.
- This is a great truth that we have used with thousands of people over the years. It's one that now you get to use going forward in your marriage and other relationships!
- Thoughts, Self-Talk, and Narrative all mean the same. They all determine the feeling that will follow.
The five main categories to the Managing Emotions Process:
- A = Event
- B = Thoughts
- C = Feelings & Actions
- D = Dispute
- E = New B or Thought
When looking at A, B, or C, the fact is we almost never have power over A (the event).
- However, we do have complete power over "B" (what we tell ourselves about "A") and therefore power over "C' (feelings and actions).
Disputing (D) is a huge step to managing your emotions!
- Learning how to dispute the old thought or self-statement (B) with these two questions:
1. Is this thought or self-statement true or rational?
2. Who would I be without this thought?
- Perhaps a person with more joy.
- Perhaps a person with more confidence.
- Perhaps a person with more assertiveness.
- Perhaps a person with more patience.
The last step, E is where the true change takes place!
- If you decide (after disputing) that your thought is irrational, YOU MUST REPLACE IT with a new thought (B)!
- Your feelings and actions will follow!

Call To ACTION
Any real change requires a call to actions. So here are a few things we want you to do.

Revisit this episode if you were unable to take notes.
Start a journal using A-B-C-D-E.
- This will be a great way to see on paper how you are starting to take charge of your emotions!
Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Red Truck Marriage podcast and and write a REVIEW!
- We don't want you to miss an episode!
Invite another couple you care about to the Red Truck Marriage podcast!
Choose to drive the Red Truck in your marriage!
- It will cause your spouse to RUN towards you.
- Listen to the trailer if you don't know the story about the Red Truck!
Join the Red Truck Marriage Facebook Group!
- You will get exclusive "goodies" from us by being a member!
- We will join you weekly for coaching on becoming the HEROES of your Marriage Story!
- Join the RTM Facebook Group