Ready Dad Go! Podcast - #2 About memory

Demian and Lenart, continue with chapter 1: How We Remember: Experience Shapes Who We Are from the book "Parenting From the Inside Out" by Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell.

We really enjoyed reading and discussing this chapter. It was extremely well written, informative and insightful and we could relate to the authors personal stories.

The chapter talks about how memory is created, how it defines us and how it affects our life.

Experiences are what shapes our brain.

Experiences fire up neurons in our brain and create new connections which changes and develops the structure of our physical brain.

We talk about two forms of memory: Explicit and Implicit memory.

Implicit Memory, sometimes known as unconscious memory or automatic memory.

Implicit memory is present at birth. It has no images or words connected to it.

These memories are behavioural, emotional, perceptual, bodily sensations

One has no sense of recollection when these memories are recalled

Explicit Memory is the conscious, intentional recollection of factual information, previous experiences, and concepts

Explicit memory develops during the second year of life and beyond

You have a sense of recollection present when recalled

Explicit memory requires your attention.

We discuss how we can so easily be disappointed and even surprised by automatic reactions we may have towards our children and these reactions could stem from implicit memory... Memories we are not even consciously aware of. Reactions to our implicit memory and not to our children.

If we cannot "Integrate" our reactions that are responses to implicit memory, we will find it very difficult to overcome potentially traumatic or hard interactions with our children and this can inhibit our ability to strengthen our relationships with our children.