
5 Ways We Are Sucking the Soul Out of Children
07/27/23 • 24 min
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5 Ways We Are Sucking the Soul Out of Children
Show Notes:
The following are 5 ways we are sucking the heart and soul out of our children’s lives and with great cost:
1. Lack of down time for unsupervised, self-directed play: kids need the freedom to explore and take things apart and play with ideas. This also requires enough down time for kids to be bored, daydream and really get into the flow of their creative processes.
2. We don’t value the arts: We need to give artists, dancers, musicians, budding actors, and teachers the same amount of financial and emotional support as you give kids in sports.
3. Kids have lost their love of learning: Kids learn to just play the ‘game of school’ and give adults what they want, but they lose their motivation and love of learning in the process.
4. There is too much focus on external motivators: Teens and adults who are driven by internals like being of service and making a difference are happier, more fulfilled, and have richer relationships. Be very careful with what you focus on.
5. Kids have lost the joy of playing sports for the love of the game: Too much emphasis on competition, winning, and achieving college scholarships has drained the love of the game out of youth sports.
What kids need:
1. More unsupervised down time for kids to follow their own interests and passions & learn thru play
2. Put as much value and encouragement into activities your kids are into like art, music, theater; let go of the fear they’ll never make $ doing it.
3. Parents & the educational system let go of pressuring kids to all achieve straight A’s and to pad their resumes & do activities b/c it looks good on their college app; teach in a way that kids see the meaning in what they are studying; allow time for kids to pursue their own interests for the love of learning; autonomy, engagement, mastery
4. Playing for plays sake: focus on playing for the love of the game vs. winning or getting a college scholarship
Resources:
Listen to a previous podcast by Dr. Jordan on How youth sports are negatively affecting our daughters
A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink
Out of Our Minds: learning to be creative, by Ken Robinson
The High Price of Materialism (http://www.amazon.com/The-High-Price-Materialism-Kasser by Tim Kasser
Next Episode

The Hardest Gift To Give Is Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an internal process that sets you free from negative feelings & thoughts, opening you up for love and happiness.
Show Notes:
BENEFITs of practicing forgiveness
Research has shown that forgiveness is linked to mental health outcomes such as reduced anxiety, depression and major psychiatric disorders. Stress relief is probably the chief factor connecting forgiveness and well-being.
Harmful effects of not forgiving
Not forgiving results in worse mental and physical health, and economic, social and spiritual problems. When kids are wronged and don’t forgive, they remain “stuck” in the traumatic situation when they felt victimized. Every time they recall the hurtful event, they re-experience their stress response.
How do we teach kids about forgiveness?
Become aware of the costs to you
Forgiveness is for you; it's letting go of any feelings you've allowed the other person to bring up in you.
Forgiving others opens up space for growth, happiness, and closeness.
Teach kids to be in charge of their feelings and reactions to experiences and other people. Use the tomato word tool and the "I'm an ass, you're an ass" tool to not give their power away.
Learn to come from understanding vs. judgement.
Replace (-) emotions with empathy, sympathy, understanding, compassion, and love.
Contact Dr. Jordan: https://drtimjordan.com
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