21 - Why don't I talk as much as others?

03/20/21 • 4 min

Quora knows best - For English learners and others

Minh Le's asnwer to:

Why don't I talk as much as other people?

Well, I also had this problem before. In every party and conversation, I had always been the most quite person because I didn't know what to say. I was afraid that people would find me boring because I didn't talk much. Then I realize that there're these three simple solutions to this problem.

Most people like to talk about themselves, what they like and dislike, their passions, etc. And it makes them feel best talking to someone who can listen. If you practice active listening, you will be able to understand people better which leads to your ability to ask open-end, interesting questions. That's how to keep a conversation going on interestingly. And by actively listening, it helps you to accumulate knowledge, experiences and stories from other people adding up to your life library and you'll be able to remember a lot of good stories well. Thus, those experiences you accumulate become your own stories to tell other people in upcoming conversations, meetings, etc. In order to become a good speaker, you first need to be a good listener.

Another way to increase your knowledge in general so you can have a wide range of topics to talk about is reading. Writers sometime put their whole lifetime experiences in a book of several hundred pages, by reading a book, you absorb all of those knowledge in just a much shorter time. The more you read, the more knowledgable you are, which makes you become much more intellectually interesting. It's always a better conversation talking with someone who reads a lot more than a person who read nothing. So take at least 30 minutes a day reading book as a habit, believe me, you won't regret reading too much.

Last thing, don't worry if you're not able to have much to talk about at the moment. Being a good conversationalist is all about story telling. If you pay extra attention to your everyday things and learn how to talk about them in an interesting way, that would be still much better than having an interesting story being told in a boring way. How you tell a story matters as much as your experiences and knowledge.

So, to sum up, you need first to be a good listener, do reading as a habit and then learn how to tell a story well. That's all you need to make a good talk.

https://qr.ae/pGXG0Z from www.Quora.com

Minh Le's asnwer to:

Why don't I talk as much as other people?

So, to sum up, you need first to be a good listener, do reading as a habit and then learn how to tell a story well. That's all you need to make a good talk.

https://qr.ae/pGXG0Z from www.Quora.com

Previous Episode

20 - How to distinguish between people who pretend to be smart and people who actually are

Quora's Link

https://qr.ae/pNdBMe

Ebbert:

As a university lecturer who regularly examines students, I can tell pretty quickly whether someone is just parroting something they have read, or has actually understood it.

Once you involve them in a conversation on the subject in question, and they come with metaphors (“... it’s almost a bit like...”), I know I can tick them off as someone who has “got it.”

People who don’t know what they are talking about usually keep it strictly straight. But someone who understands will get poetic about it. Beware though, if you are trying to feign understanding using this method: There is a fine line between blathering and making metaphorical allusions.

(Quora: https://qr.ae/pNdBuG)

Vocabulary:

To parrot = repeat, recite, ape, copy , copycat

subject in question = topic at hand, matter at hand

To keep it straight = To avoid confusing or mixing up something; to keep something clear or organized

Next Episode

22 - What is the best thing about not drinking?

Quora article: https://qr.ae/pGXMjW

Learn English with this text on YouTube: https://youtu.be/32Rn3RCk-d0

Full Transcript:

Like the rest of my family, I basically grew up expecting there to be a bottle of wine or two waiting for me every evening, plus some whisky or cognac afterwards as a night cap.

Most of my adult life, that’s how I lived.

From about age 20 to 45, I drank a bottle of wine every evening, plus some spirit. I thought it was what distinguishes a good life from a bad life, not because it was so much fun, but because there was a sense of sophistication and accomplishment that came with it. It had snob appeal.

Enter my Chinese wife, who realised I tend toward sleep apnea, and it freaked her out. You can only do so many nights of attempted resuscitations, thinking your husband just died in his sleep.

So I decided to go off it to see if it helped, and we got ourselves an overload of tea cups, tea pots, and tea varieties to fill the beverage gap.

The result was amazing.

Not only did the sleep apnea disappear, but I also slept vastly better, my stress levels plummeted, as did my weight, and my bills. After a year, I couldn’t believe how much money I had saved drinking tea instead of wine. We started flying away on holiday like we had not done before.

And I no longer wake up with a sad soundtrack on my mind every morning. For decades, I had believed that that’s what waking up is simply like. Instead, I actually wake up full of bright ideas and good thoughts now.

Now, I still like wine. But I see its downsides. So, on weekends, with family, I will have a bottle of wine. But it’s not a bottle a day anymore, and I can truly recommend the effects it has to give your body a respite with some proper sleep.

Vocabulary

nightcap: A nightcap is a drink taken shortly before bedtime. For example, a small alcoholic drink or glass of warm milk can supposedly promote a good night's sleep
sophistication: the process or result of becoming cultured, knowledgeable, or disillusioned
apnea: transient cessation of respiration

downsides: the negative aspect of something otherwise regarded as good or desirable.