21 - Why don't I talk as much as others?

Minh Le's asnwer to:

Why don't I talk as much as other people?

Well, I also had this problem before. In every party and conversation, I had always been the most quite person because I didn't know what to say. I was afraid that people would find me boring because I didn't talk much. Then I realize that there're these three simple solutions to this problem.

Most people like to talk about themselves, what they like and dislike, their passions, etc. And it makes them feel best talking to someone who can listen. If you practice active listening, you will be able to understand people better which leads to your ability to ask open-end, interesting questions. That's how to keep a conversation going on interestingly. And by actively listening, it helps you to accumulate knowledge, experiences and stories from other people adding up to your life library and you'll be able to remember a lot of good stories well. Thus, those experiences you accumulate become your own stories to tell other people in upcoming conversations, meetings, etc. In order to become a good speaker, you first need to be a good listener.

Another way to increase your knowledge in general so you can have a wide range of topics to talk about is reading. Writers sometime put their whole lifetime experiences in a book of several hundred pages, by reading a book, you absorb all of those knowledge in just a much shorter time. The more you read, the more knowledgable you are, which makes you become much more intellectually interesting. It's always a better conversation talking with someone who reads a lot more than a person who read nothing. So take at least 30 minutes a day reading book as a habit, believe me, you won't regret reading too much.

Last thing, don't worry if you're not able to have much to talk about at the moment. Being a good conversationalist is all about story telling. If you pay extra attention to your everyday things and learn how to talk about them in an interesting way, that would be still much better than having an interesting story being told in a boring way. How you tell a story matters as much as your experiences and knowledge.

So, to sum up, you need first to be a good listener, do reading as a habit and then learn how to tell a story well. That's all you need to make a good talk.

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