Quiet, Not Silent: Recovering with BPD

Who puts the B in BPD? Bianca McIntyre, a therapist who not only has personal experience with BPD but also dedicates her work to helping patients with personality disorders.

She focuses on challenging some long-held beliefs about the treatment of personality disorders, and advocates for a more compassionate and validating approach that puts the human element front and center. Many people with BPD face stigma directly from mental health professionals, and people like Bianca aim to change the narrative that’s forced on us by MHPs and stigmatizing communities out there - the idea that people with BPD can't be helped.

If you've ever questioned out of despair if you’re beyond help, if you’re the problem, if you’re a monster – this episode is a must-listen. You are NOT a monster.

In this episode, Bianca and I got to chat about:

• The lack of knowledge widely available about BPD before the emergence of social media
• The stigma patients with BPD face in clinical environments
• The frustration that patients with BPD often feel when CBT is used as the main form of treatment
• What can professionals include in their approach in order for patients with BPD to become more responsive?
• Where does the field of psychology and its practices have limitations?
• Why do we need to consider systems of oppression when treating mental health conditions?
• How radical acceptance can help us move through our suffering, rather than prolong it
• What perpetuates stigma of Cluster B personality disorders in clinical settings?
• Can social media help to educate the masses about BPD? Or is it only spreading misinfo?
• How would it be helpful to have more therapists out there with lived experience of BPD themselves?
• In what ways can helping people with personality disorders be rewarding?
• What are common recovery fallacies people with BPD fall into? How can we let go of unreasonable expectations we place on ourselves?
• Why should we embrace and accept our big feelings?

[s o c i a l s]

Follow Bianca on TikTok: @putting_the_b_in_bpd

Instagram: @bianca.mc.intyre

Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide

[ s o c i a l s ]

Follow my IG for updates: @averythequiet

Want more content? Join me on Patreon: Avery, the Quiet

averythequiet.carrd.co

Join the community on Discord:

The Quiet BPD Keep is a recovery-focused community that offers daily affirmations, tarot readings, self-care reminders, DBT skill commands, books and resources, advice and listener roles, and voice chats. Age 18+, LGBTQ+ and 420 friendly.

[ c r e d i t s ]

Recorded with: Podcastle

Music:

Vanilla Sky by Lunareh

Sonic Sepia by Lunareh

Limbanja by ODDBAHL

Paper Ghosts by ODDBAHL

[ d i s c l a i m e r ]

My content is meant for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for professional clinical advice, diagnosis, or therapy.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Identity Disturbance had me conforming to what society kept telling me I should be. At one point in my healing journey, I was ready to think really hard about how true to myself I was being, and I realized I was not. I found that there were lots of people out there with the same experiences as me, and that there was a name for that. There are words for that experience. And those words for me, are queer and nonbinary.

In this episode, I'll chat with you about:

• What is Identity Disturbance and what can that look like?
• What does it even mean to have a stable, consistent, coherent sense of self?
• What are things that can seem like identity disturbance, but really aren't?
• How can we solidify our sense of self?
• Why are our core values and priorities important? How do we find these?
• Why it's perfectly normal to change and grow, and what it means to have consistent core aspects to your identity
• How did I figure out I was nonbinary, and what does that mean?
• Was I questioning my gender and sexual identity because of my identity disturbance?

The Quiet Files (Patreon Exclusive) PREVIEW: Letting In, vs Coming Out: Uncovering my Queer Identity after Self-Abandonment

[ r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s ]

Gender Reveal (a trans podcast)

Beyond the Gender Binary, by Alok Vaid-Menon

Distinguishing and Addressing Gender Minority Stress and Borderline Personality Symptoms (2019, Goldhammer et al.)

Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide

[ s o c i a l s ]

Follow my IG for updates: @averythequiet

Want more content? Join me on Patreon: Avery, the Quiet

averythequiet.carrd.co

Join the community on Discord:

The Quiet BPD Keep is a recovery-focused community that offers daily affirmations, tarot readings, self-care reminders, DBT skill commands, books and resources, advice and listener roles, and voice chats. Age 18+, LGBTQ+ and 420 friendly.

[ c r e d i t s ]

Recorded with: Podcastle

Music:

Vanilla Sky by Lunareh

Sonic Sepia by Lunareh

Limbanja by ODDBAHL

Paper Ghosts by ODDBAHL

[ d i s c l a i m e r ]

My content is meant for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for professional clinical advice, diagnosis, or therapy.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content Advisory: Brief mention of suicidal ideation

Dr. Jesse Finkelstein (he/him) has been on his own non-linear journey to find his purpose. He is a graphic designer, an illustrator, a game designer, a co-founder... And as of April 2023, he is now a clinical psychologist and DBT therapist. On his path, he has found so much freedom in being able to accept his emotions. To feel everything fully. DBT is not meant to make people feel like they have to ignore, to numb, to silence their emotions.

In this episode, Jesse and I chat about:

• What inspired Jesse to become a DBT therapist?
• How did DBT become an evidence-based treatment for BPD?
• Why are patients with BPD generally less responsive to CBT compared to DBT?
• What is THE Dialectic that DBT is talking about?
• What does it actually mean to build a life worth living?
• What are the different modules included in DBT?
• What does it mean to tolerate our distressing emotions?
• What are the different ways patients can access DBT?
• What are some problems DBT has when it comes to helping patients retain the skills?
• What solution does TheraHive aim to bring to the DBT world?
• How does it feel to witness a client's progress in therapy?
• Bonus: Jesse's TOP 5 FAV DBT SKILLS 🌱💟

[s o c i a l s]

Find Jesse elsewhere:

talkgood.org

@talkisgood

@dbttiktok

[ m e n t i o n e d ]

The Game of Real Life: Successfully backed on Kickstarter

TheraHive: FAQs

DBT-RU: DBT Skills from Experts (YouTube Channel)

Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide

[ s o c i a l s ]

Follow my IG for updates: @averythequiet

Want more content? Join me on Patreon!

averythequiet.carrd.co

Join the community on Discord:

The Quiet BPD Keep is a recovery-focused community that offers daily affirmations, tarot readings, self-care reminders, DBT skill commands, books and resources, advice and listener roles, and voice chats. Age 18+, LGBTQ+ and 420 friendly.

[ c r e d i t s ]

Recorded with: Podcastle

Music:

Vanilla Sky by Lunareh

Sonic Sepia by Lunareh

Limbanja by ODDBAHL

Paper Ghosts by ODDBAHL

[ d i s c l a i m e r ]

My content is meant for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for professional clinical advice, diagnosis, or therapy.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People with BPD often feel like they don't belong anywhere. The thing is, we as humans need connections with others to survive and to feel emotionally fulfilled. Hyper-individualism is shit and it doesn't work.

So how do we combat loneliness? We cultivate meaningful connections with others. But how - and where - do you do that?

In this episode, I’ll chat with you about:

• Understanding loneliness as a trigger for BPD symptoms
• What if you feel like you don’t really have a good support system?
• Why a support system is important for BPD recovery
• Who is and who isn’t, appropriate to inform about your BPD?
• How do I explain my BPD to people?
• Red flags you shouldn't ignore - no matter how strong your fear of loneliness is

[r e a d m o r e]

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Dr. Martin Bohus, MD - Google Scholar

BIPOC Mental Health: Community Care

Loneliness, Social Isolation, and Their Difference: A Cross-Diagnostic Study in PDD and BPD (2020)

Understanding chronic feelings of emptiness in borderline personality disorder: a qualitative study (2021)

Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide

[ s o c i a l s ]

Follow my IG for updates: @averythequiet

Want more content? Join me on Patreon: Avery, the Quiet

averythequiet.carrd.co

Join the community on Discord:

The Quiet BPD Keep is a recovery-focused community that offers daily affirmations, tarot readings, self-care reminders, DBT skill commands, books and resources, advice and listener roles, and voice chats. Age 18+, LGBTQ+ and 420 friendly.

[ c r e d i t s ]

Recorded with: Podcastle

Music:

Vanilla Sky by Lunareh

Sonic Sepia by Lunareh

Limbanja by ODDBAHL

Paper Ghosts by ODDBAHL

[ d i s c l a i m e r ]

My content is meant for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for professional clinical advice, diagnosis, or therapy.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine yourself as a wayfarer, looking to embark on a journey through an emotional inner landscape. As people with BPD, we often feel lost, and for many of us, we begin our journey after being in the depths of despair, where the path ahead of us is shrouded in mist, making us uncertain of our next steps.

Imagine emotions as points on a compass, representing different feelings like joy, sadness, anger, and fear. People who have a high level of emotional awareness can navigate this emotional landscape with ease, recognizing and identifying each emotional point on the compass. Their emotional compass is finely tuned, allowing them to accurately read their emotions and understand what they're feeling.

On the other hand, people with BPD tend to have a less precise emotional compass. It's as if their compass is missing some of the markers or has a weak signal.

This episode is about calibrating our emotional compass: when you learn how to recognize your feelings and then put words to them, you become that much more in control of your journey.

• What is Alexithymia?
• Why do people suppress their emotions?
• Why do we need to feel our emotions in order to heal?
• How do I get more comfortable feeling my emotions?
• What if I never stop crying?
• What gets better when you learn to identify your emotions?
• How do I become mindful of current emotions?
• How do I create a safe space for myself?

[ m e n t i o n e d ]

Mindfulness of Current Emotions

Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

Emotions in the Body - (2013 Study)

VISIT MY SHOP: Heart & Sleeve Co.

Need a DBT Skill? DBT Pocket Guide

[ s o c i a l s ]

Follow my IG for updates: @averythequiet

Want more content? Join me on Patreon: Avery, the Quiet

averythequiet.carrd.co

Join the community on Discord:

The Quiet BPD Keep is a recovery-focused community that offers daily affirmations, tarot readings, self-care reminders, DBT skill commands, books and resources, advice and listener roles, and voice chats. Age 18+, LGBTQ+ and 420 friendly.

[ c r e d i t s ]

Recorded with: Podcastle

Music by ODDBAHL, Lunareh

[ d i s c l a i m e r ]

My content is meant for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for professional clinical advice, diagnosis, or therapy.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.