Personality Isn't Permanent - A conversation with Dr. Benjamin Hardy

06/16/20 • 65 min

011 - You are going really like this conversation. Chock full of hope.

On March 6, 2020 I had a Zoom conversation with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I wanted to support Dr. Hardy in getting the word out about the ideas in his book Personality Isn’t Permanent

Take a listen as we had a meaningful, fun conversation. I feel like Ben is my brother. Check it out for yourself.

Psychologist and bestselling author Benjamin Hardy, PhD, debunks the pervasive myths about personality that prevent us from learning—and provides bold strategies for personal transformation

In Personality Isn’t Permanent, Dr. Benjamin Hardy draws on psychological research to demolish the popular misconception that personality—a person’s consistent attitudes and behaviors—is innate and unchanging. Hardy liberates us from the limiting belief that our “true selves” are to be discovered, and shows how we can intentionally create our desired selves and achieve amazing goals instead. He offers practical, science-based advice to for personal-reinvention. [From Amazon’s description]

Medium Blog where I discovered Benjamin Hardy

https://medium.com/@benjaminhardy

Personality Isn’t Permanent - https://benjaminhardy.com/

Gaping Void - Career Hierarchy

Foster All

https://www.fosterall.org/

Sungshim and I attended a Gala to raise awareness and money for Foster All. Thanks to Anne Bierling

The Body Keeps The Score - Basel ven der Kolk

Trauma keeps a personality frozen.

Trauma shatters imagination.

Gabor Mate

Personality is a way to cope with trauma.

SOME NOTES from the episode

Hope Theory - You can’t have hope without a different or better future.

Expectancy theory - You can’t have motivation without a clear goal and path to get there.

Imagination is the key to learning.

You can’t learn without imagination.

“Mental flexibility is the basis of imagination” - Basel ven der Kolk

“If you really want a goal, you better start telling it to everybody.”

“People don’t typically admit what they want.”

A fixed mindset often comes from trauma and leads to a fear of failure.

The more honest and explicit you are the more your environment (people) will support or oppose it.

I think identity is far more important than personality. Personality flows out of our identity.

Fasting is amazing

Fasting is like prayer on steroids.

A personality typing system helps create an identity and removes a lot of ambiguity.

...can limit yourself from imaging a future self.

“They set goals to confirm the label.”

Want to become like Christ?

Define that reality, go for it!

Let's do it together.

https://www.presenceandpractice.com/
If you are looking for a Contemplative Marriage & Family Therapist you can find one here.
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

011 - You are going really like this conversation. Chock full of hope.

On March 6, 2020 I had a Zoom conversation with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I wanted to support Dr. Hardy in getting the word out about the ideas in his book Personality Isn’t Permanent

Take a listen as we had a meaningful, fun conversation. I feel like Ben is my brother. Check it out for yourself.

Psychologist and bestselling author Benjamin Hardy, PhD, debunks the pervasive myths about personality that prevent us from learning—and provides bold strategies for personal transformation

Medium Blog where I discovered Benjamin Hardy

https://medium.com/@benjaminhardy

Personality Isn’t Permanent - https://benjaminhardy.com/

Gaping Void - Career Hierarchy

Foster All

https://www.fosterall.org/

Sungshim and I attended a Gala to raise awareness and money for Foster All. Thanks to Anne Bierling

The Body Keeps The Score - Basel ven der Kolk

Trauma keeps a personality frozen.

Trauma shatters imagination.

Gabor Mate

Personality is a way to cope with trauma.

SOME NOTES from the episode

Hope Theory - You can’t have hope without a different or better future.

Expectancy theory - You can’t have motivation without a clear goal and path to get there.

Imagination is the key to learning.

You can’t learn without imagination.

“Mental flexibility is the basis of imagination” - Basel ven der Kolk

“If you really want a goal, you better start telling it to everybody.”

“People don’t typically admit what they want.”

A fixed mindset often comes from trauma and leads to a fear of failure.

The more honest and explicit you are the more your environment (people) will support or oppose it.

I think identity is far more important than personality. Personality flows out of our identity.

Fasting is amazing

Fasting is like prayer on steroids.

A personality typing system helps create an identity and removes a lot of ambiguity.

...can limit yourself from imaging a future self.

“They set goals to confirm the label.”

Want to become like Christ?

Define that reality, go for it!

Let's do it together.

https://www.presenceandpractice.com/
If you are looking for a Contemplative Marriage & Family Therapist you can find one here.
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

Previous Episode

Joy Fueled - Catalyzing A Revolution of Joyful Communities [LK10] with Toni Daniels

010 Episode -- Toni Daniels shares the impact of vibrant families of Jesus and the new book she co-authored.

Joy Fueled - Catalyzing A Revolution of Joyful Communities

Toni Daniels - Training Champion

Toni is passionate about seeing relational restoration in every level of society by awakening, inspiring and training emotional, spiritual ninja warriors.

God-given Design: Toni takes risks and spearheads experiments to find and implement the best pathways to fuel Jesus’ revolution of Joy.

TONI DANIELS

Missionary for 18 years Uraguary - Social Entrepreneur / Relational training
Mom of 4 (10-30) / Wife - 26 years
Wrote a book Back To Joy: An Intimate Journey Into Emotional Health and Maturity
Part of LK10 Ministries - https://lk10.com/

The Mission

To start vibrant families of Jesus within reach of every person on the planet.

Our 5 Core Values

In short, Lk10 is characterized by joy-fueled, Jesus-led communities of practice, training spiritual moms and dads to nurture ecosystems of grace. Here’s a closer look at each of these values:

Joy-Fueled

Joy, that feeling you get when you are “glad to be together no matter what” is what fuels and motivates us within LK10 (John 14:10). Instead of living out of shame, guilt, or duty, we take time to connect heart to heart with each other. We also ask God, “how do you feel about being with us?” This question gets at our root motivations and consistently brings relational peace as it reveals God’s deep enjoyment of us fueling us to move into our world full of life and presence.

Are you burned out? Tired of church as usual? Looking for deeper connection with others and with Jesus?

Then you’re in the right place. Lk10 trains people like you to start Jesus-led, joy-fueled communities. We’re re-imagining church as a simple, organic, and participatory family.

Visit us at https://www.presenceandpractice.com/
If you are interested in Contemplative Marriage & Family therapy find out more here.
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

Next Episode

Healing Conversations with Dave Roberts

012 John invites Pastor Dave Roberts into a dialogue about the ideas in his new book HEALING CONVERSATIONS
Join Dave & John as they dialogue about how we can participate in creating a place for healing conversations to take place.
Pastor Dave Roberts shares about his new book HEALING CONVERSATIONS.
Dave Roberts is the lead Pastor for the Montrose Church which has made great waves in global communities with recent partnerships in Bolivia, Mexico and a current partnership in Eswatini, Africa. He earned his Master of Divinity at Nazarene Theological Seminary and began serving the Los Angeles Community in 1988. For over 30 years, he has been a practitioner of relationships, community building, and long-term partnerships. With a front row seat to the very real struggles faced by couples, families, and people, Dave has seen how the power of real authentic conversation transforms loneliness and divisiveness into genuine affection and connection. He brings years of practical help and support to people who long to connect spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and relationally. Dave currently resides in Glendale, California.
FROM AMAZON
Healing Conversations brings to life the seven elements of how to have deep and fulfilling conversations so that people can connect in a world with many conversational obstacles.
Conversation is the way human beings connect. Great friendships are defined by the way one speaks, listens, and flows through the joy of effortless conversation. As the divisions in culture deepen due to politics, generational misunderstanding, the complexity of gender, the struggle to be politically correct, and every other possible human condition, conversation is becoming more and more dangerous. Most people feel an ever-increasing need to be careful with their words. It may be good to be thoughtful of language, but this is a new kind of carefulness. The anxiety of culture is leading people to communicate less and that leads to isolation and divisiveness.
Healing Conversations is a simple way to revolutionize communication. It offers practical help to allow readers to talk their way out of conflict and loneliness. Within Healing Conversations, Dave Roberts helps readers to learn, gain perspective, grow, accomplish real work, come together for a greater good, but even more, helps them to feel intimately connected to the people around them again through the power of conversation.
Presence & Practice
https://www.presenceandpractice.com/blog
Loppnow Relationship Center
John & Sungshim are Contemplative Marriage & Family Therapists
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/