Strong Women, Domestic Abuse and Cultural Spillover Theory - Ep 19
Positively Midlife Podcast09/19/22 • 46 min
We welcome Colette Durst to the podcast this week. Hear Colette's story of domestic abuse and she shares her journey from being a young mother and wife and working through law school to living in an escalating environment of domestic abuse all while claiming the corporate ladder.
After 9/11 Colette's spouse was activated as a reservist and went over to Iraq and she felt that was the turning point in her marriage.
Learn about Cultural Spillover Theory and how that and PTSD may have played a major role in the escalating abuse that was happening. And how these things may have played a role that led to adultery, excessive drinking, personality changes, violence, reckless financial decisions, secretly purchasing weapons, and abandonment.
During this rapid escalation, Colette remained silent from telling her friends and family. As so many women remain silent out of fear and shame and they don't seek out help. While Colette did try and get help from the military, things seem to fall through the cracks and no one stepped forward to help her or her family.
Colette decided recently to write a LinkedIn Article that eluded to her domestic abuse experience of "bringing the war home". This article really spoke to many other successful women that reached out and acknowledged they too are struggling.
Our message to our listeners is when women come together and support each other we are stronger! If you are in a Domestic Abuse situation safely reach out for help. If you suspect a loved one could be in a Domestic Abuse situation encourage them to reach out for help.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799 SAFE (7233) Text "START" to 88788 www.thehotline.org has resources and live chat sessions available
This week's obsessions
Tish - White Cowboy Boots
Ellen - HBO Max series Hacks
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09/19/22 • 46 min
3 Listeners
Positively Midlife Podcast - Strong Women, Domestic Abuse and Cultural Spillover Theory - Ep 19
Transcript Summary
In this episode titled "Strong Women, Domestic Abuse and Cultural Spillover Theory," the hosts interview Colette Durst, a woman who bravely shares her story of leaving an abusive partner. Colette's ex-partner exhibited violent tendencies, excessive drinking, adultery, and reckless financial decisions, making it difficult for her to leave due to fear and various incidents, including neglecting their dog. The situation escalated when her ex-partner purchased weapons without her knowledge, raising concerns for her and their children's safety. Despite facing a challenging divorce process and legal battles over assets, Colette eventually found stability, bought a house, and moved with their children. However, her ex-partner continued to create obstacles and attempted to force the sale of their new home. Colette's article on LinkedIn garnered support from other women who resonated with her experiences, highlighting the importance of support and empowering women. The conversation delves into the power of vulnerability, the need for self-care and recovery from emotional abuse, and the significance of contacting local domestic abuse support groups for help and resources. The hosts express gratitude to Colette for sharing her story, emphasizing optimism that it will help others. Additionally, the episode explores the issue of domestic violence within the military, discussing how the focus on responding to 9/11 may have overshadowed other threats faced by individuals. Lack of support for reservists contributed to difficulties in receiving help, and indicators of PTSD were observed in Colette's ex-partner. The concept of Cultural Spillover Theory is introduced, suggesting that societal approval of violence can lead to higher rates of violence. Colette's husband's escalation of violence may have been influenced by cultural spillover and PTSD. The episode also touches on Colette's journey from being a paralegal to becoming an attorney, overcoming obstacles and discouragement along the way. This episode of the Midsters Podcast sheds light on the crisis of domestic violence and offers important insights and resources for anyone facing similar challenges.
Transcript
Welcome back to the Midsters Podcast. I am Tish with my co host, Ellen and special guests Colette Durst. Today we're going to be talking about the crisis of domestic violence. When our guest had posted an article in LinkedIn about her personal story of domestic abuse, she had no idea what the reaction would be. When you make yourself so vulnerable. You never know how people are going to react. But Colette move bravely forward and what she found
Strong Women, Domestic Abuse and Cultural Spillover Theory - Ep 19 Top Questions Answered
How can I overcome domestic abuse?
Overcoming domestic abuse is a complex and individual process. It is important to prioritize your safety and seek support from local domestic abuse support groups and organizations. They can assist you with resources, counseling, legal advice, and shelter if needed.
What is Cultural Spillover Theory and how does it relate to domestic violence?
Cultural Spillover Theory suggests that societies that legitimize violence are more likely to have higher rates of domestic violence. In the context of this episode, it may explain the higher rates of domestic violence among military members who have been exposed to and experienced violence in war zones.
What are the long-term effects of emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse can have long-lasting effects, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, self-destructive behaviors, and difficulty forming trusting relationships. Seek professional help and support to address these effects.
How can I support a friend or family member experiencing domestic abuse?
Supporting someone experiencing domestic abuse requires empathy, non-judgment, and understanding. Encourage them to seek help, provide a listening ear, validate their feelings, and research local resources such as domestic violence hotlines or shelters. Do not pressure them to leave the abusive situation but offer continuous support.
Are there any organizations that can help victims of domestic abuse?
Yes, there are numerous organizations dedicated to helping victims of domestic abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) is a valuable resource providing support, information, and local referrals. Additionally, local domestic abuse support groups and shelters offer assistance and resources.
How common is domestic violence in the United States?
Domestic violence affects a significant portion of the population in the United States. Approximately one in three women and one in four men will experience some form of physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.
What are some self-care activities that can help recover from emotional abuse?
Engaging in self-care activities can aid in the recovery process from emotional abuse. Some examples include exercise, such as running or playing tennis, practicing mindfulness and meditation, seeking therapy or counseling, journaling, connecting with supportive friends or family, and pursuing hobbies or interests that bring joy.
How can I find local domestic abuse support groups?
To find local domestic abuse support groups, you can search online using keywords like "domestic abuse support groups [your location]" or "domestic violence resources [your city/state]." Additionally, contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline or local women's shelters can provide information and connections to local resources.
What can the military do to better support members dealing with domestic violence issues?
The military should prioritize providing comprehensive support for members dealing with domestic violence issues. This includes implementing policies and training to identify and address domestic abuse, offering counseling services, fostering a culture of support and empathy, and holding perpetrators accountable.
How can women come together and support each other in overcoming domestic abuse?
Women can come together to support each other in overcoming domestic abuse by creating safe spaces for sharing experiences, offering empathy and understanding, providing practical assistance, and advocating for policy changes to address domestic violence. Support groups, both online and offline, can be valuable in fostering this support network.
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