Can We Just Be Friends? Navigating Platonic Relationships in Polyamory

01/31/25 • 52 min

Hosts: Kat and Doc
Website: polypathwayspodcast.transistor.fm
YouTube: @polypathwayspodcast
Instagram: @polypathwayspodcast
TikTok: @polypathwayspodcast

Kat and Doc explore the perception of polyamory as a cult, challenge the notion that polyamorous individuals are trying to "convert" others, and how to form friendships in a complex relationship spectrum. They discuss how society's shift away from community building and toward hyper-individualism has influenced these misconceptions, referencing books like "Soul Boom" by Rainn Wilson and "Together" by Vivek Murthy to examine the broader context of America's loneliness epidemic.

The hosts delve into how being openly polyamorous can impact friendships and social circles, sharing personal experiences of both acceptance and rejection. They address common misconceptions, such as the assumption that polyamorous people want to date all their friends or that exposure to polyamory will "convert" monogamous individuals. The discussion emphasizes that polyamory is more about relationship orientation than choice, similar to sexual orientation.

The episode concludes by examining how polyamory's emphasis on clear communication can influence friendship dynamics and relationship transitions including escalations and de-escalations. Kat & Doc discuss the concept of "poly for the moment" and the importance of maintaining boundaries with friends who may view polyamory as an opportunity for infidelity, temporary exploration, or long awaited connection. They also preview their next episode about dating while polyamorous, which will cover topics like managing special days with multiple partners and dating app navigation.

Resources Mentioned (affiliate links):

"Soul Boom" by Rainn Wilson | Amazon | Bookshop.org
"Together" by Vivek Murthy | Amazon | Bookshop.org
Money with Katie podcast
Remodeled Love's Nuclear Fusion (and their podcast)

Questions We Answer:

Is polyamory really a cult, or is monogamy more cult-like in its social pressure and expectations?
How do you maintain friendships when friends assume you want to date them after coming out as polyamorous?
Why do polyamorous people seem to talk about polyamory so much - is it about converting others or something else?
How do you handle friends who see your polyamory as an opportunity for infidelity or temporary exploration?
Can you de-escalate from a romantic relationship back to friendship in polyamory?
What happens to your social circle when your friends' partners are uncomfortable with your relationship style?
How do polyamorous people actually decide who they want to date versus maintain as friends?
Why might your old flames suddenly reappear when they learn you're polyamorous, and how should you handle it?
What role does enhanced communication play in maintaining boundaries and friendships while polyamorous?

Hosts: Kat and Doc
Website: polypathwayspodcast.transistor.fm
YouTube: @polypathwayspodcast
Instagram: @polypathwayspodcast
TikTok: @polypathwayspodcast

Resources Mentioned (affiliate links):

"Soul Boom" by Rainn Wilson | Amazon | Bookshop.org
"Together" by Vivek Murthy | Amazon | Bookshop.org
Money with Katie podcast
Remodeled Love's Nuclear Fusion (and their podcast)

Questions We Answer:

Is polyamory really a cult, or is monogamy more cult-like in its social pressure and expectations?
How do you maintain friendships when friends assume you want to date them after coming out as polyamorous?
Why do polyamorous people seem to talk about polyamory so much - is it about converting others or something else?
How do you handle friends who see your polyamory as an opportunity for infidelity or temporary exploration?
Can you de-escalate from a romantic relationship back to friendship in polyamory?
What happens to your social circle when your friends' partners are uncomfortable with your relationship style?
How do polyamorous people actually decide who they want to date versus maintain as friends?
Why might your old flames suddenly reappear when they learn you're polyamorous, and how should you handle it?
What role does enhanced communication play in maintaining boundaries and friendships while polyamorous?

Previous Episode

How do you Handle Jealousy? Decoding and Navigating Jealousy in Polyamory

In this eye-opening episode of Poly Pathways, hosts Kat and Doc tackle the elephant in the room for many considering polyamory: jealousy and envy. They dive deep into the differences between these emotions and why they're not unique to polyamorous relationships. The hosts share personal stories and insights, debunking common misconceptions about jealousy in non-monogamous relationships.

Kat and Doc explore how monogamy often allows people to avoid confronting jealous feelings, while polyamory encourages facing these emotions head-on. They discuss the fear-based nature of jealousy and how it relates to seeking safety in relationships. The hosts also touch on how jealousy can manifest in unexpected ways, as illustrated by Doc's camping story and Kat's experience with her boyfriend's profession.

Listeners will gain valuable insights into managing jealousy and envy in all types of relationships. The hosts emphasize that feeling jealous doesn't make you "bad at poly" and offer a teaser for strategies to work through these challenging emotions in the second half of the episode. Whether you're polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between, this episode provides a fresh perspective on dealing with the green-eyed monster.

Follow @polypathwayspodcast for more insights on practical polyamory!

Next Episode

Are You Ready to Navigate Dating Apps, Adventure, & Holidays in Polyamory?

In this lively episode of the Poly Pathways Podcast, Kat and Doc explore the fascinating world of polyamorous dating, offering real-life examples, practical tips, and plenty of good-humored banter. They dig into popular apps like OKCupid, Bumble, Tinder, Field, #Open, and PolyFinder to help you compare user bases, filtering options, and the pros and cons of each. Along the way, they share hilarious personal stories (shout-out to the old Yahoo Dating days!), emphasize the importance of being transparent about your polyam status, and remind everyone that effective communication—even on a digital platform—starts with an honest, well-crafted profile. You’ll also hear call-outs to unique resources such as the Tiny Decisions app for spontaneous date planning, and the occasional mention of “Drink Element,” a sponsor that keeps them energized between all their busy commitments.

Next, the hosts dive headfirst into strategies for meeting potential partners beyond traditional apps, from spotting friendly faces at renfaires and gaming events to dropping in on local poly meetup groups. Kat shares her take on why having a broad social circle—full of people with mutual hobbies like Dungeons & Dragons or community volunteer work—can be just as effective for forming new connections. The conversation touches on tricky topics like avoiding “unicorn-hunting” pitfalls, handling awkward or negative responses on dating apps, and setting boundaries around family responsibilities. They also discuss the difference between boundaries and rules, highlighting how self-awareness and early communication can help foster healthier, more respectful relationships.

Finally, Kat and Doc tackle the big seasonal dilemma: how to celebrate (or ignore) traditional romantic holidays like Valentine’s Day without losing sight of each partner’s feelings. From scheduling creative one-on-one outings on separate dates to planning bigger group events like trivia nights or escape rooms, they offer playful tips for including everyone—without forcing people into a single mold. Key questions this episode answers include which dating apps work best for poly folks, how to manage time and communication when juggling multiple relationships, and how to gracefully handle important dates on the calendar. No matter your approach, these show notes sum up the main takeaway: by staying honest, respectful, and mindful of everyone’s comfort zone, you can create positive experiences and meaningful connections in the world of polyamory.