
Developing Healthy Communication Skills After Sexual Betrayal w/ Kevin Skinner
01/07/25 • 45 min
In this episode, host Tara McCausland and Dr. Kevin Skinner discuss effective communication strategies for couples dealing with sexual betrayal and addiction. Dr. Skinner emphasizes the importance of slowing down conversations and understanding underlying emotions, such as fear and pain, rather than responding defensively. He suggests techniques like 'deep listening,' adult timeouts, and back-to-back communication to help break negative patterns. Dr. Skinner also highlights the importance of external support systems like sponsorship and groups, and advises against making quick decisions in the wake of betrayal. The conversation underscores the critical role of self-awareness and intentional effort in achieving healthier communication and ultimately, relationship recovery.
00:00 Introduction to Dr. Kevin Skinner
01:19 Welcome and Initial Thoughts on Communication
01:52 Challenges of Communication After Betrayal
03:43 Understanding Anger in Betrayed Partners
13:43 The Importance of Deep Listening
15:49 Breaking Communication Patterns
18:24 Techniques for Effective Communication
25:51 Understanding Attunement in Relationships
27:16 The Importance of Adult Timeouts
30:06 The Myth of Never Going to Bed Angry
32:16 Effective Communication Techniques
33:33 The Role of Support Systems
39:49 Final Thoughts and Advice
Connect with Dr. Kevin Skinner at humanintimacy.com.
SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
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Transcripts
In this episode, host Tara McCausland and Dr. Kevin Skinner discuss effective communication strategies for couples dealing with sexual betrayal and addiction. Dr. Skinner emphasizes the importance of slowing down conversations and understanding underlying emotions, such as fear and pain, rather than responding defensively. He suggests techniques like 'deep listening,' adult timeouts, and back-to-back communication to help break negative patterns. Dr. Skinner also highlights the importance of external support systems like sponsorship and groups, and advises against making quick decisions in the wake of betrayal. The conversation underscores the critical role of self-awareness and intentional effort in achieving healthier communication and ultimately, relationship recovery.
00:00 Introduction to Dr. Kevin Skinner
01:19 Welcome and Initial Thoughts on Communication
01:52 Challenges of Communication After Betrayal
03:43 Understanding Anger in Betrayed Partners
13:43 The Importance of Deep Listening
15:49 Breaking Communication Patterns
18:24 Techniques for Effective Communication
25:51 Understanding Attunement in Relationships
27:16 The Importance of Adult Timeouts
30:06 The Myth of Never Going to Bed Angry
32:16 Effective Communication Techniques
33:33 The Role of Support Systems
39:49 Final Thoughts and Advice
Connect with Dr. Kevin Skinner at humanintimacy.com.
SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
Find an SAL12Step Meeting
Donate
Contact to ask questions or make comments
Transcripts
Previous Episode

Step 8 - Healing Families Through Willingness w/ Jon I
In this Pathway to Recovery episode, Jon I. shares his journey of addiction, hitting rock bottom, and ultimately finding healing through the 12-step process of SAL 12-Step. He discusses the process of working up to and including Step 8, which involves creating a list of people harmed and becoming willing to make amends. Jon describes how the real struggle wasn't making the list but finding the willingness to forgive those who hurt him, including himself. Through prayer and the support of his sponsor and fellow members, Jon learned to soften his heart and confront past resentments, which led to significant personal transformation. His recovery process wasn't linear, as he relapsed once, but ultimately, it was through humbling himself, staying committed to the program, and seeking connection with others that he achieved long-term sobriety and healing.
Jon’s recovery journey extended beyond personal transformation; it also deeply impacted his family. After a relapse, Jon faced the threat of losing his marriage and family. The SAL 12 Step tagline of "Recovering Individuals - Healing Families" is very prominently testified of throughout this conversation. He emphasizes the importance of connection in recovery, particularly through reaching out to others, as this was a lifeline for him. His story highlights that recovery is an ongoing process requiring vulnerability, humility, and consistent action. Jon’s closing message is one of hope and encouragement, urging both newcomers and long-time members to stay engaged, keep working the program, and lean on the support of the community: “Keep coming back. It works if you work it, so work it. You are worth it.”
SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
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Next Episode

Step 9 - Healing: Whatever that May Look Like w/ Heather B
In this episode of the 'Pathway to Recovery' podcast, host Justin B. is joined by Heather B., who shares her heartfelt experiences in the rooms of SAL 12-step recovery. Together, they delve into Heather's journey through Step Nine of the recovery program. Heather recounts her background, from discovering her husband's addiction to her transformative process in understanding her limitations and achieving personal growth. She offers a candid look at the healing power of making amends, the challenges she faced, and the profound peace she found through God's guidance. Heather’s story underscores the essential nature of forgiveness, accountability, and continuous self-improvement in the recovery journey, providing both newcomers and long-time participants with invaluable insights and encouragement.
00:00 Introduction to the Pathway to Recovery Podcast
00:36 Heather's Journey into SAL 12 Step
02:18 Discovering the Reality of Addiction
03:32 The Shift in Focus: From Fixing Others to Self-Recovery
07:18 The Importance of a Sponsor
10:32 Reading and Understanding the 12 Steps
11:43 Heather's Experience with Step Nine
18:54 Challenges and Lessons in Making Amends
23:55 Miraculous Outcomes in Step Nine
28:19 A Nervous Encounter
29:20 Unexpected Transformation
30:13 Emotional Release
30:26 The Power of Amends
31:10 Making Amends with Myself
31:27 The Role of Counseling
32:36 Forgiving the Past
36:23 Living Amends
39:29 Healing Through Forgiveness
45:12 The Individuality of Step Nine
49:19 Final Thoughts and Experience, Strength, and Hope
SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
Find an SAL12Step Meeting
Donate
Contact to ask questions or make comments
Transcripts
Pathway to Recovery - Developing Healthy Communication Skills After Sexual Betrayal w/ Kevin Skinner
Transcript
Developing Healthy Communication Skills After Sexual Betrayal w/ Kevin Skinner
[00:00:00]
Introduction to Dr. Kevin Skinner
Tara: Dr. Kevin Skinner is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been practicing for 29 years. In addition to therapy, Dr. Skinner has created online courses for bloomforwomen.com and humanintimacy.com.
He has written professional assessments completed by thou
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