Grief vs. Mourning: Understanding the Difference Changes Everything
04/22/25 • 19 min
Drawing the line between grief and mourning changes everything about how we navigate loss. Grief—the natural, uncontrollable emotional response—floods us with sadness, anger, anxiety, and even manifests as physical pain migrating through the body. Mourning, however, encompasses the actions we take: attending funerals, sharing memories, and creating space to express our pain.
When we covenant to "mourn with those that mourn," we're not promising to feel another's grief—an impossible task that belongs solely to the Savior. Instead, we commit to witness their pain without judgment or comparison. The greatest gift we can offer is our presence and the simple question, "Tell me about the person you lost," acknowledging that the bereaved are always aware of their loss—"a big man-sized hole" in every moment of daily life.
The journey through grief requires meeting eight fundamental needs: acknowledging the death, telling your story repeatedly, facing rather than avoiding the pain, remembering the deceased, developing a new identity, searching for meaning, building ongoing support systems, and being encouraged to mourn long after others have moved on. For those walking this path, seemingly strange comforts emerge—like my cemetery "stakeouts" with takeout food, creating a socially acceptable space to express grief that might seem inappropriate elsewhere. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, understanding these distinctions creates space for authentic healing and connection on this difficult journey we never walk alone.
If you would like more grief support please see my website at Mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and 1:1 opportunities.
Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy, your fierce support in the journey of grief, until next time.
If you enjoy this podcast please consider donating to help us keep going.
"Wendy has a beautiful way of sitting in the deep end of the ocean with you. Her presence alone is healing. She meets you where you’re at and doesn’t push you any further than where you want to go. She gently nudges you into new places with new perspectives. She is highly intuitive, sensitive and compassionate. She brings a depth to the table you rarely see. Her experiences have given her an extraordinary level of understanding and a safe place to walk to as she is a safe harbor fill of strength and integrity. She is raw and real and beautifully vulnerable and she is exceptional at conveying the words that are hard to find. She is a rare one." Christi D.
Drawing the line between grief and mourning changes everything about how we navigate loss. Grief—the natural, uncontrollable emotional response—floods us with sadness, anger, anxiety, and even manifests as physical pain migrating through the body. Mourning, however, encompasses the actions we take: attending funerals, sharing memories, and creating space to express our pain.
When we covenant to "mourn with those that mourn," we're not promising to feel another's grief—an impossible task that belongs solely to the Savior. Instead, we commit to witness their pain without judgment or comparison. The greatest gift we can offer is our presence and the simple question, "Tell me about the person you lost," acknowledging that the bereaved are always aware of their loss—"a big man-sized hole" in every moment of daily life.
The journey through grief requires meeting eight fundamental needs: acknowledging the death, telling your story repeatedly, facing rather than avoiding the pain, remembering the deceased, developing a new identity, searching for meaning, building ongoing support systems, and being encouraged to mourn long after others have moved on. For those walking this path, seemingly strange comforts emerge—like my cemetery "stakeouts" with takeout food, creating a socially acceptable space to express grief that might seem inappropriate elsewhere. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, understanding these distinctions creates space for authentic healing and connection on this difficult journey we never walk alone.
If you would like more grief support please see my website at Mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and 1:1 opportunities.
Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy, your fierce support in the journey of grief, until next time.
If you enjoy this podcast please consider donating to help us keep going.
"Wendy has a beautiful way of sitting in the deep end of the ocean with you. Her presence alone is healing. She meets you where you’re at and doesn’t push you any further than where you want to go. She gently nudges you into new places with new perspectives. She is highly intuitive, sensitive and compassionate. She brings a depth to the table you rarely see. Her experiences have given her an extraordinary level of understanding and a safe place to walk to as she is a safe harbor fill of strength and integrity. She is raw and real and beautifully vulnerable and she is exceptional at conveying the words that are hard to find. She is a rare one." Christi D.
Previous Episode
Parables of Grief--Living Up to Your Spiritual Privileges in Times of Profound Loss
When tragedy strikes, our understanding of God's protection undergoes a profound metamorphosis. Just as a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, grief can change us into something entirely new—if we allow it. Today, Mama Bear Wendy explores what it means to live up to our spiritual privileges during times of profound loss.
The death of a spouse creates a defining moment that challenges our most fundamental beliefs. After losing her husband, Wendy's prayers transformed from what she calls a "shopping list" of requests to something deeper: prayers seeking alignment with God's will. This shift represents a spiritual awakening that often accompanies deep grief, where we stop bargaining with the universe and start seeking understanding.
Drawing inspiration from Emma Smith's remarkable self-written blessing, Wendy examines how this valiant woman—who experienced multiple child losses and persecution—didn't ask for protection from suffering when given the chance to write her own blessing. Instead, Emma sought wisdom, self-knowledge, and discernment. This historical example beautifully illustrates how living up to our spiritual privileges isn't about escaping hardship but developing the spiritual gifts to navigate it with grace.
For widows especially, unique spiritual opportunities exist. There's a special connection through the veil that allows continued relationship with departed spouses who "have not abandoned their sacred callings" to family. By recognizing and actively engaging with these privileges—through temple service, patriarchal blessing study, and consistent spiritual practices even in difficult circumstances—we can experience profound support and healing. Join Mama Bear Wendy as she offers hope and practical wisdom for those walking the challenging path of grief.
If you would like more grief support please see my website at Mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and 1:1 opportunities.
Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy, your fierce support in the journey of grief, until next time.
If you enjoy this podcast please consider donating to help us keep going.
"Wendy has a beautiful way of sitting in the deep end of the ocean with you. Her presence alone is healing. She meets you where you’re at and doesn’t push you any further than where you want to go. She gently nudges you into new places with new perspectives. She is highly intuitive, sensitive and compassionate. She brings a depth to the table you rarely see. Her experiences have given her an extraordinary level of understanding and a safe place to walk to as she is a safe harbor fill of strength and integrity. She is raw and real and beautifully vulnerable and she is exceptional at conveying the words that are hard to find. She is a rare one." Christi D.
Parables of Grief - Grief vs. Mourning: Understanding the Difference Changes Everything
Transcript
Hello friends , this is the Parables of Grief podcast and this is your host , Mama Bear Wendy , I'm here to share some love and light with you on your journey through grief and loss . I hope , as our healing paths connect for the next few minutes , we can walk together and find strength for the road ahead . One scientist suggests that what the grieving need most is to have other
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