Episode 59: The Wicker Man - Crank - Idiocracy: September 1, 2006

Nic Cage walks into a forest dressed like a bear and punches a woman. No, you’re not having a bad fever dream; you’re just watching one of the movies that opened on September 1, 2006: a week filled with mystery, mayhem, and most of all, misogyny. THE WICKER MAN, CRANK, and IDIOCRACY are being pumped full of adrenaline and then burned alive on Episode 59 of Opening Weekend! (Brought to you by Carl’s Jr).

“I wish I could quit you.” “You complete me.” “I’ll have what she’s having.”

No, the boys aren’t discussing any movies this week REMOTELY related to romance. These are just a few of the things Jason screamed to the rafters in the fall of 2006 as he desperately tried to keep Dan from moving out of their Astoria apartment. To which Dan replied, ““AH, MY LEGS! NOT THE BEES!!! YOU BITCHES!!!!” Or was that Nic Cage? It’s hard to tell, since they were both wearing bear costumes at the time.

Also in September 2006: While Jason Statham was desperately trying to keep his heart beating performing scenes of chaos throughout Los Angeles, Jason and Dan were desperately trying to keep audiences’ hearts beating performing scenes of Chekhov in the basement of a bar in the East Village.

And while Fred was spending the last days of summer soaking up the Tuscan sun, the cast of “Idiocracy” was showing us how we’re all going to be soaking up Gatorade and fast-food during the last days of humanity. And speaking of Gatorade: Fred shows his commitment to non-stop podcasting magic this week....while completely stopping pod-cast magic cold with his own brand of idiocracy. Now leave me alone, I’m ‘batin’....to Episode 59 of Opening Weekend!