Turning Conflict into Connection - With John Ford
10/03/24 • 46 min
This episode is an eye opening chat with John Ford, a seasoned coach and mediator with over 30 years of experience. We dive into the heart of conflict resolution and the transformative power of empathy. John shares his journey from South Africa to the U.S., emphasizing how empathy can shift us from a blame mindset to one of responsibility. We discuss practical strategies, like using feelings and needs cards, to navigate conflicts and foster deeper connections. This episode is packed with insights and tools to help you communicate better and grow personally. Tune in for a heartfelt and enlightening conversation!
You can learn more about John's empathy resources here: https://www.empathyset.com/
Download FREE resources from John here:
https://www.empathyset.com/free-stuff
Want to Kate to come and speak at your event? Visit https:https://www.kategladdin.com/
Check out Kate's personalised online coaching programs for women: https://www.kategladdin.com/coaching
For daily inspiration and tips, follow Kate on instagram: @kategladdin
Introduction to the Episode (00:00:00) Kate Gladdin introduces the podcast and highlights its focus on personal growth and conflict resolution.
Guest Introduction (00:02:49) John Ford, a mediator with 30 years of experience, joins the show to discuss conflict resolution.
John's Background (00:04:14) John shares his journey from South Africa to the U.S. and his discovery of mediation.
Importance of Empathy (00:05:52) John emphasizes the role of empathy in resolving conflicts and improving interpersonal relationships.
Shifting from Blame to Responsibility (00:06:50) Discussion on helping individuals move from a blame mindset to taking responsibility for their actions.
The Role of Self-Empathy (00:08:12) John explains the importance of self-empathy in mediation and conflict resolution.
Understanding Common Humanity (00:10:10) John discusses recognizing shared human struggles to reduce blame and victim mentality.
Validating Feelings (00:14:02) The significance of validating emotions in conflict resolution without necessarily agreeing with the other party.
Clarifying Perspectives (00:15:44) John highlights the importance of language in expressing perspectives during mediation to avoid misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings of Empathy (00:18:21) John addresses common pitfalls in understanding and practicing empathy, distinguishing it from sympathy.
Empathy and Its Dangers (00:18:41) Discusses the balance between empathizing with others and the risk of shifting focus to oneself.
Cognitive Biases in Empathy (00:19:37) Explores how personal biases can distort our perception of others' experiences.
The Pitfalls of Giving Advice (00:20:35) Highlights how offering unsolicited advice can undermine genuine empathy.
Evolution of Empathy (00:21:27) Examines the historical context of empathy and its growing importance in interpersonal communication.
Hollow Empathy vs. Action (00:22:18) Stresses the need for empathy to be accompanied by meaningful actions, not just words.
Personal Experiences of Empathy (00:23:09) Kate shares her experiences with differing levels of empathy during her time in university.
Emotional Literacy and Acknowledgment (00:24:28) Discusses the importance of recognizing and validating others' feelings to foster emotional understanding.
The Power of Labeling Emotions (00:27:22) Emphasizes how identifying feelings can aid in emotional healing and understanding.
Embracing Anger as a Valid Emotion (00:30:37) John advocates for recognizing anger as a sign of care and engagement rather than a negative emotion.
The Impact of Emotional Avoidance (00:32:20) Addresses societal tendencies to suppress emotions and the need for tools to reconnect with feelings.
Feelings and Needs Cards (00:34:08) Introduces a tool designed to help individuals articulate their feelings and needs effectively.
Podcast Episode Timestamps
Understanding Needs (00:35:51) Discussion on recognizing personal needs and the importance of asserting them for healthy relationships.
The Power of Prompts (00:36:47) Using prompts, like feelings lists, to help individuals articulate their emotions and needs more clearly.
Bonding Through Neediness (00:37:33) Exploring how acknowledging needs can enhance connections in friendships and relationships.
Preparing for Difficult Conversations (00:38:41) Strategies for approaching tough discussions using feelings ...
This episode is an eye opening chat with John Ford, a seasoned coach and mediator with over 30 years of experience. We dive into the heart of conflict resolution and the transformative power of empathy. John shares his journey from South Africa to the U.S., emphasizing how empathy can shift us from a blame mindset to one of responsibility. We discuss practical strategies, like using feelings and needs cards, to navigate conflicts and foster deeper connections. This episode is packed with insights and tools to help you communicate better and grow personally. Tune in for a heartfelt and enlightening conversation!
You can learn more about John's empathy resources here: https://www.empathyset.com/
Download FREE resources from John here:
https://www.empathyset.com/free-stuff
Want to Kate to come and speak at your event? Visit https:https://www.kategladdin.com/
Check out Kate's personalised online coaching programs for women: https://www.kategladdin.com/coaching
For daily inspiration and tips, follow Kate on instagram: @kategladdin
Introduction to the Episode (00:00:00) Kate Gladdin introduces the podcast and highlights its focus on personal growth and conflict resolution.
Guest Introduction (00:02:49) John Ford, a mediator with 30 years of experience, joins the show to discuss conflict resolution.
John's Background (00:04:14) John shares his journey from South Africa to the U.S. and his discovery of mediation.
Importance of Empathy (00:05:52) John emphasizes the role of empathy in resolving conflicts and improving interpersonal relationships.
Shifting from Blame to Responsibility (00:06:50) Discussion on helping individuals move from a blame mindset to taking responsibility for their actions.
The Role of Self-Empathy (00:08:12) John explains the importance of self-empathy in mediation and conflict resolution.
Understanding Common Humanity (00:10:10) John discusses recognizing shared human struggles to reduce blame and victim mentality.
Validating Feelings (00:14:02) The significance of validating emotions in conflict resolution without necessarily agreeing with the other party.
Clarifying Perspectives (00:15:44) John highlights the importance of language in expressing perspectives during mediation to avoid misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings of Empathy (00:18:21) John addresses common pitfalls in understanding and practicing empathy, distinguishing it from sympathy.
Empathy and Its Dangers (00:18:41) Discusses the balance between empathizing with others and the risk of shifting focus to oneself.
Cognitive Biases in Empathy (00:19:37) Explores how personal biases can distort our perception of others' experiences.
The Pitfalls of Giving Advice (00:20:35) Highlights how offering unsolicited advice can undermine genuine empathy.
Evolution of Empathy (00:21:27) Examines the historical context of empathy and its growing importance in interpersonal communication.
Hollow Empathy vs. Action (00:22:18) Stresses the need for empathy to be accompanied by meaningful actions, not just words.
Personal Experiences of Empathy (00:23:09) Kate shares her experiences with differing levels of empathy during her time in university.
Emotional Literacy and Acknowledgment (00:24:28) Discusses the importance of recognizing and validating others' feelings to foster emotional understanding.
The Power of Labeling Emotions (00:27:22) Emphasizes how identifying feelings can aid in emotional healing and understanding.
Embracing Anger as a Valid Emotion (00:30:37) John advocates for recognizing anger as a sign of care and engagement rather than a negative emotion.
The Impact of Emotional Avoidance (00:32:20) Addresses societal tendencies to suppress emotions and the need for tools to reconnect with feelings.
Feelings and Needs Cards (00:34:08) Introduces a tool designed to help individuals articulate their feelings and needs effectively.
Podcast Episode Timestamps
Understanding Needs (00:35:51) Discussion on recognizing personal needs and the importance of asserting them for healthy relationships.
The Power of Prompts (00:36:47) Using prompts, like feelings lists, to help individuals articulate their emotions and needs more clearly.
Bonding Through Neediness (00:37:33) Exploring how acknowledging needs can enhance connections in friendships and relationships.
Preparing for Difficult Conversations (00:38:41) Strategies for approaching tough discussions using feelings ...
Previous Episode
The #1 Thing To Do Before Your Next Trip Overseas
Do you have a spare $82,000 lying around to pay for the medical bills of sand fly bites on a tropical island? Yeah, me neither. Yet that's the exact cost a traveler had to pay during their trip overseas. While the chances of the unthinkable happening while you're holidaying overseas are slim, it can happen. Unfortunately my family learned the hard way, after my sister was killed in a motorbike accident in Thailand. It shattered us, but there was one thing that helped us out most during those heartbreaking days of bringing Nicole back home - travel insurance.
Tune in to find out why travel insurance is the best financial investment you make towards your next vacation and all the different ways it can help your trip run more smoothly when you face big or small hiccups as you travel overseas. If you can't afford insurance, you can't afford to travel - at all.
Want to Kate to come and speak at your event? Visit https:https://www.kategladdin.com/
Check out Kate's personalised online coaching programs for women: https://www.kategladdin.com/coaching
For daily inspiration and tips, follow Kate on instagram: @kategladdin
Podcast Introduction (00:00:00) Kate welcomes listeners to the episode and introduces the theme of life’s unpredictability.
Recording the Audiobook (00:00:18) Kate shares her excitement about recording her new audiobook and the audition process involved.
Emotional Reflections (00:01:03) She reflects on the emotional journey of reading her book, connecting it to her sister's memorial.
Sister's Legacy (00:01:55) Kate discusses her determination to honor her sister's memory and the resilience learned from her life.
Announcement of Audiobook Release (00:03:43) Kate informs listeners about the release date of her audiobook and paper copy book on November 12th.
Importance of Travel Insurance (00:05:41) Kate introduces the topic of travel insurance, emphasizing its potential to save money and heartache.
Sister’s Tragic Accident (00:06:34) She recounts the tragic circumstances surrounding her sister Nicole's accident while traveling in Thailand.
Travel Safety Message (00:08:31) Kate stresses the importance of safety precautions, particularly wearing helmets while riding motorbikes abroad.
Accessing Travel Insurance (00:10:24) Kate shares her experience of accessing her sister's travel insurance documents after the accident.
Financial Impact of Insurance (00:12:21) She explains how travel insurance saved her family from significant financial burdens following her sister's death.
Support from Insurance Company (00:14:21) Kate recounts the emotional support and assistance her family received from the travel insurance company.
Encouragement to Get Insurance (00:15:27) She urges listeners to obtain travel insurance before traveling to avoid devastating financial consequences.
Cost of Medical Bills Abroad (00:16:42) Kate highlights the high costs of medical treatment overseas and the importance of having insurance coverage.
Navigating Insurance Options (00:18:46) She provides tips on comparing and selecting the right travel insurance policy based on individual needs.
The Importance of Travel Insurance (00:19:43) Kate discusses how travel insurance can cover unexpected costs and emphasizes its necessity for travelers.
Personal Experience with Insurance (00:20:39) Kate shares a personal story about a laptop incident during travel, highlighting the benefits of having insurance.
The Consequences of Not Having Insurance (00:21:54) She recounts Jacob Webster's story, illustrating the severe financial burden of medical bills abroad without insurance.
Encouragement to Get Insured (00:22:42) Kate urges listeners to prioritize travel insurance when planning trips, stressing its critical role in travel safety.
Final Thoughts and Call to Action (00:23:37) She concludes by encouraging listeners to share the message of travel insurance's importance and to reach out with questions.
Next Episode
Managing Anxiety Over A Situation You Can't Control
Ever faced a situation before that's felt completely beyond your control? It's so easy to spiral into anxiety and overthinking every single worst case scenario which only causes more stress and chaos. That's been me this past week - with my new hometown of Sheridan, nestled in the beautiful Bighorn Mountains, facing the threat of wildfires. This situation has brought a whirlwind of emotions—anxiety, worry, and stress. But it has also reminded me of the importance of how we can heathily cope with situations beyond our control, especially during times of crisis - so that's what this episode is all about!
Tune in to learn actionable advice and insights to help you manage your anxiety and regain a sense of control - even when a situation is way beyond your control. Whether you’re dealing with a crisis or just everyday stress, this episode is packed with insights to help you find comfort and clarity.
So, grab a cup of tea, get comfy, and join me on this journey. Let’s navigate life’s uncertainties together with grace and resilience.
Want to Kate to come and speak at your event? Visit https:https://www.kategladdin.com/
Check out Kate's personalised online coaching programs for women: https://www.kategladdin.com/coaching
Introduction to the Episode (00:00:00) Kate introduces the podcast and shares her mixed emotions about the current situation in Sheridan.
Wildfire Concerns (00:00:19) Kate discusses the anxiety and stress caused by nearby wildfires threatening her new hometown.
Acknowledging Emotions (00:01:16) She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and processing feelings during challenging circumstances.
Control in Crisis (00:02:15) Kate reflects on the lack of control in crisis situations and the shared experiences of anxiety.
The Survival Brain (00:06:16) She explains how our brains are wired for survival, leading to automatic negative thoughts.
Present Moment Awareness (00:08:00) Kate encourages focusing on the present and acknowledging that worries are often unfounded.
Making Space for Emotions (00:09:44) She advocates for accepting and feeling sadness and anxiety rather than trying to escape them.
Grounding Techniques (00:11:29) Kate introduces grounding exercises and deep breathing as methods to calm the nervous system.
Engaging the Senses (00:13:45) She describes the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise to help bring awareness back to the present moment.
Physical Activity for Anxiety (00:15:59) Kate discusses the importance of exercise in processing emotions and managing anxiety.
Worry and Perspective (00:16:58) She talks about maintaining perspective on worry, balancing awareness with action to mitigate anxiety.
Controlling What You Can (00:18:51) Focus on what you can control and let go of the rest.
The True Impact of Loss (00:19:57) Emotions associated with loss can be more challenging than the loss itself.
Avoiding Unnecessary Worry (00:21:07) Creating worst-case scenarios in your mind adds unnecessary anxiety.
Finding Positives Amidst Adversity (00:24:05) Challenge negative thoughts by identifying positive truths in difficult situations.
The Importance of Resilience (00:27:06) Life’s challenges help us grow and adapt, reminding us we will be okay.
Embracing Life's Contrasts (00:29:26) Adversity and joy coexist, providing perspective on life's experiences.
Accepting Every Experience (00:33:04) Every circumstance is an opportunity for growth and connection, even painful ones.
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