Jaynestown

Explicit content warning

08/12/24 • 40 min

(Recorded on August 4, 2024) Up this week is episode seven of Firefly, “Jaynestown.” The crew are headed to Canton, a town who survives on the export of mud and slave labor. Who do they think they are, Shein? Jayne disguised as the REI Lawerence of Arabia, doesn’t want to go because he previously robbed the town’s magistrate—a man named Higgins, whose sole focus in this episode is getting his 26 year old son, Fess, laid (weird!). While Mal, Wash, Jayne, Kaylee, and Simon journey to town, Zoe and Shepherd stay on the ship with River. After meeting the foreman of the mud plantation, the crew stumbles on a statue of Jayne, made out of what else, mud. Simon seems most dumbfounded, making some of campiest shocked faces we’ve seen in the serious so far. They visit a local tavern and while imbibing in mudders milk (I hope it’s pasteurized) they’re treated to a musical performance by a local. The song, Hero of Canton is about Jayne—describing how he robbed from Higgins and then rained the money down on the towns people. Obviously that is only half true, as Jayne only dumped the money so his ship wouldn’t crash (and that’s not the only thing he dumped!). The mudders discover Jayne is back and boy are they happy to see him. Higgins, while waiting for his son to lose his cherry (his words, not mine) to Inara finds out that Jayne is back in Canton. Higgins, unlocks Encino Man from a wooden box and is like, “go on, git! you know what you need to do!” Ladies and germs, that man is Stitch Hessian, Jayne’s former partner who he also dumped from his ship. Obviously he as an axe to grind! There’s a pretty good fight scene (I’ll give them that) and then Jayne holds a republican press conference telling everyone to stop waiting for a handout and get a job! They have a job, they just don't get paid, Jayne!! While all of this is going on, Kaylee is trying to flirt with Simon (awkwardly). And River is being kind of racist??

Also, George implores Meaghan to watch the movie Heat; Meaghan is offended that George questioned her boyband knowledge; and they both encourage everyone to listen to Give It To You. (Original network air date October 18, 2002)

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

Our Mrs. Reynolds

(Recorded on July 21st, 2024) This week we are talking about episode six of Firefly, “Our Mrs. Reynolds.” While at a party, thrown in their honor for ridding the town of ruthless bandits, Mal gets drunk and spends his time flirting and dancing with a local woman. The next day, after they’ve left the town that JD Vance grew up in, Mal discovers a woman in the cargo bay of Serenity, who claims to be his new wife Saffron. Shepherd informs Mal that unfortunately he’s an idiot and everything he did with Saffron last night, was a marriage ceremony in her culture. And while it’s never good to trick someone into marriage, it’s definitely always good to google a place before you visit it. Saffron, upset that Mal isn’t thrilled about being a newlywed, runs off to cry in a hallway. Mal tries to be nice while telling her he’d make a terrible husband and that sort of honesty apparently works for Saffron, because she goes to make him a meal. Shepherd tells Mal there’s a special place in hell for him (not the same place for women who don’t support other women) if he takes advantage of her. Are we forgetting that this marriage was not consensual? Now this is where the episode takes a turn for the tradwife algorithm on TikTok. Saffron wants to please her husband with her cooking, washing his feet (barf), listening to his boring stories about childhood, telling him she prayed for someone like him, and of course wedding night you-know-what. Going so far as to quote from a bible (not sure if it’s THE bible) about how he should furrow with the plow—IT’S A LOT. Of course Mal, a man, can’t resist and kisses her. He probably would have furrowed his plow if the kiss hadn’t drugged him causing him to pass out. Saffron is a villain - and this feels like some kind of allegory on Whedon’s part that women can’t be trusted, but I DIGRESS. She tries the same on Wash, but ends up having to kick him in the head. Her whole plan was to just reroute the ship to some guys who would strip it for parts—which for the thrill, I guess. Before she abandons ship, she runs into Inara and tries to seduce her (which George loved OBVIOUSLY), but Inara is smarter than both Mal and Wash so it doesn’t work. Unfortunately Inara doesn’t seem great at hand-to-hand combat so Saffron gets away...or does she?

All you really need to know is that George thrived watching the episode and Meaghan barely survived. (Original network air date October 4, 2002)

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Next Episode

Out of Gas

(Recorded on August 11, 2024) This week we’re digging into episode eight of Firefly, “Out of Gas.” This is the episode that we have been waiting for—the episode that makes us go, “okay, we can see why people would like this show.” The title is misleading, because it’s not gas they’re running out of, it’s oxygen. And the clock is ticking! The catalyzer on Serenity is blown out causing the engine to offline and life support functions to fail. Mal makes the decision to stay behind on the ship to wait for a response to their distress beacon, while sending the crew away on two separate shuttles. The episode goes back and forth between the past, almost present, and actual present. In the past, we get flashbacks of Mal showing Zoe the newly purchased Serenity (she’s not impressed), Mal and Zoe meeting Wash (also not impressed), the ships old mechanic Bester (wtf), how Kaylee ended up on the ship (HATED IT), and Zoe and Mal meeting Jayne for the first time (it’s about how you would imagine). In the not-so-present, there’s a birthday dinner, an explosion, Zoe saving Kaylee from a fireball, River terrorizing Shepherd, Mal almost fighting Wash, and Mal being ambushed by an early aughts steampunk band. In the present-present it’s just Mal fighting for his life on an empty Serenity. There are six more episodes and movie so of course Mal lives, but it’s about the journey (to use George’s favorite word). Of course not every episode is perfect—even one we both enjoyed. So if you tune in just to hear us find something to tear into, we will definitely be doing that with Kaylee’s flashback! It’s just a lot! We have some big winners and just one big loser (if you’ve watched, can you guess?). Also, George and Meaghan discuss Olympic events (sort of topical!); Meaghan might have hit a record for most pop culture references in a synopsis; and we think about how if they had cast Michael Biehn in this episode, it would have been off the charts. (Original network air date October 25, 2002)

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